QUOTE(sadboyz00 @ Aug 10 2018, 08:29 AM)
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Now, she really didn't contact the other guy already, I know in future she won't also. She asks me to forgive her and don't think about her old mistakes and accept her again. But I don't know how to totally accept her now as she cheated me so many times before.
In earlier, she told me they are just friends and the guy younger than her and they impossible become couple. But few weeks later, they become like couple (the time when I keep apologize to her and tell her how much I love her and ask her comeback to me).
I feel so imbalance to accept her now because how can she accept another guy when I everyday SMS and call her and she knows I still loves her. She know my selfish behaviour, If she chooses to be with another guy, I won't accept her again later. That's means she never think we will together again?
She told me yes she never think she will be together with me again as she think I will never change and she hopes I can treat next girl better as she feels that I actually dont love her so I treated her so bad. But after that she feels that I really change and she can see my sincerity. After thinking, she want to be with me.
Yesterday i asked her to gave me her handphone to check. I recovered some of the old chats and I found some of their chat history. When I saw their chat, I felt so angry and disappointed. I did told my gf I am hard to accept after I saw the chat (even the chat just only say like calling each other baby, and talk about daily life things).
Ok,now she asked me to totally forget what she done to me at the past and accept the new her. She said she promise she will never ever do that again and really want to be together with me again. She said I am so good now, she hopes I won't repeat the old mistakes. So, I know now she accepted me. But I felt so imbalance of what she done to me.
I know it was my mistake of this broken relationship, but what i cares and feel hard to accept her now is why she choose to be in relationship with others when I trying my best to save the relationship that time? Is that that time she don't love me at all while everyday see my SMS and chats? Dont have feeling at all? I can't find a reason for these questions so I feel so hard to totally forgive what she done to me.
I hope forumers here can give me some opinions.
If you want to move forward together, you have to forget the past.
And if you LOVE her enough to see the bigger picture, you would already have forgiven her, knowing that she is with you now. As I've mentioned before, she suffered a lot too from your selfish acts. If both of you want to move forward don't hold on to the past. Else you will be holding that piece of the past as a bomb everytime both of you argue in the future, and one day when you just throw too much of these past bombs at the relationship, it will break.
These words you said "
trying my best to save the relationship that time? Is that that time HE don't love me at all while everyday see my SMS and chats? Dont have feeling at all? I can't find a reason for these questions " I can imagine her saying them when she was ignored.
Thing is, time changes people, and people grow and mature (hopefully in your case). How she use to treat you might change, how you treat her might change, both of you might loose the details of showing love to each other, its normal. Which is why I advised you to
read up on the Languages of Love, how each person perceives being loved. So you will know how to love each other and they will feel the same.
So, to recap, if you want to move on, forget the past, never hold it against her (its not her fault), its a bomb that will destroy any relationship.