i'm with U on the "till 100 or death" planning but more for "not creating a sandwich" situation for my kids & "leaving something behind". I find it challenging being in a "sandwich generation" - ie. taking care of parents & kids - thus i dont wish such for my kids, let them focus on building their life since my generation has access to info & markets to build our own stash for retirement.

just my 2 cents + er. for the fellow forumer @ 50 years young, i'm somewhere there too - younger in physical years but older in wrinkles/worries

This post has been edited by wongmunkeong: Dec 10 2019, 06:46 PM

financial issues are the main causes of spats/bad blood that eventually ends in divoce.
yup - i'm a statistic here

and yes, kids are EXPENSIVE hobby. get a cat/dog for feeling loved/self-shiok.
IMHO - kids are a privilege - something better than oneself for the world/future, not for oneself.
again - i'm a statistic here. without kids - i'd be FIREd liao but still a few more years to go (past FIRE-age) to ensure resources are enough for tooling them up for life & my retirement to avoid being a weighing them down in my old age

thanks for asking
coping? luckily better than thought coz that was about 12 years back
life rebooted, losses cut, etc. - only thing is i miss my little one mucho mucho - only see her like 3 times a year. Now with MCO-no travel, impacted 1 of 3

on a serious note - a partner can boost, neutral or KILL one's financial plans. Thus, compatibility in financial outlook is a serious consideration - neednt be exactly the same but the heading or end goals should be similar. If one is the type of "i deserve it spender" VS one of us type of saver-investor-life optimizer, sure crash somewhere one. It's just a matter of time and what time of crashes.

personal lesson learned: dont marry hoping to other party change - people become more and more of what they really are (core).

yup, financial manage/goals too dissimilar or should i say totally black/white different, causing too much friction in partnership. never invest in a partnership (or other investments) based on hope. hope is not a good basis of investment XD

dont be scared of marriage - be clear on yourself and your potential partner.
ignore the words (can be sweet lies).
look at the their actions and history.
look at the family's actions. the apple usually doesnt fall far from the tree.

heheh - didnt plan, just happened and really look long long at the actions vs words (more than 5 years), and luckily was living like a monk then, no spendthrifts will find me "interesting".

yup, i'm blessed
and
yes, even if i can travel-back to time, i'd still want to make the same mistake AND have my girl, even with all the pains and costs. She's worth my blood, sweat and pains - imagine a kid learning CashFlow 101 & 202, knowing the pros/cons of dumbspending vs using $ to buy real assets <mind blown>.. and the fact that her mother is still er.. that type, LAGI wow to me. ie. her mother's lifestyle doesnt affect my girl's core beliefs/outlook.

dont worry TOO much bro, worry enough cukup
i'm a typical worrier - good project manager type but found that one should just focus on what one can affect, do OR learn to affect/do. The rest will come together eventually if we keep to good planning/doing/review-makebetter cycle.

i'm just lucky bro.
my girl's awesome & i'm trying to live up to be a father she deserves + my wife's husband she deserves.
still practicing & trying

fellow FIRE-liker, in my simpleton approach - basis should always be "self clarity" first.
ie. i must know myself and my NEEDs/Goals - not nice to have / not want type of goals. NEED - like air.

when U know, then whether U are single or married with kids - U will follow through coz that's core NEED. Usually your core need will usually encompass your loved ones, just need to set "higher levels" of same needs/goals.
eg.
Level 0 basic NEED/goal: FIRE for self = RM1.6M, assuming 4% drawdown, ie. will have RM64K pa or 5,333 pm to live on.
Level 1 scaling same NEED/goal up: FIRE for family when married = RM2.4M, assuming 4% drawdown, ie. will have RM96K pa or 8K pm to live on.

my parents thought me a simple thing - "if i cannot take care of myself or better, how can i take care of others". thus, for my - self clarity first, then scale where/when needed. the core is the same

note - not the only way forward ya, just the way i found that works for me. different strokes for different folks, just sharing

This post has been edited by wongmunkeong: May 31 2020, 10:54 AM

-oops double-

This post has been edited by wongmunkeong: May 31 2020, 10:53 AM

thanks for your kind words bro.

maybe those needing RM20M or more for FIRE is looking at FATFIRE instead of norm or leanfire heheh - ya, some variations flying about.

Also, some really young FIRE may want to use a 3% approach based on some stats i read as the 4% was for the previous traditional retiree in US 60s+/-. Still.. RM20M+ *3%pa/12months = RM50Kpm+ spending.. that's a lot of "happiness" there - may be too stressful for some to spend that much

yeah, the presence is a present - need to be "in the now" too to enjoy the presents .
In my simplistic execution - 1/3 to pay for the past (debts, transgressions, paybacks), 1/3 for the present + 1/3 for the future hehe - ie. 1/3 debt repayment and gifting, 1/3 spending, 1/3 stockpiling and investing for future

This post has been edited by wongmunkeong: Jun 9 2020, 02:55 PM

yeah, pointless trying to play piano to cows nor ask for proof of such neh XD

This post has been edited by wongmunkeong: Jun 14 2020, 10:55 AM