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Advice Wanted how to get out of trough of breakup as soon as, possible without hurting anyone?

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TSdaerkelani
post Jun 9 2018, 07:07 PM, updated 6y ago

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just fell out of love from a 6 year relationship, because we are working at a different places. it literally took her 6 weeks to fall for another guy.
have been feeling suicidal for the past few days, even got into a minor motor vehicle accident.
vasculio82
post Jun 9 2018, 07:11 PM

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wangpr
post Jun 9 2018, 11:55 PM

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Think of revenge. Use revenge as a reason to be strong n it will help you alive. As time pass by, your revenge heart will slowly become dissapear n become normal n lesson learn.


K24
post Jun 10 2018, 12:07 AM

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QUOTE(wangpr @ Jun 9 2018, 11:55 PM)
Think of revenge. Use revenge as a reason to be strong n it will help you alive. As time pass by, your revenge heart will slowly become dissapear n become normal n lesson learn.
*
Yea, kinda true. Try ur very best to live ur life to the fullest, to show her that u can live happily & better too without her...but this one got skill one, u must do like wan show don't wan show off like that...so that she will makan the bait, not u showing off. Then slowly2 u will forget about her...thinking about she jelly u...

*golden advise for guys - if she wan to play atas sell high high, let her hang herself high high alone there*
Sadru
post Jun 10 2018, 12:09 AM

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QUOTE(daerkelani @ Jun 9 2018, 07:07 PM)
just fell out of love from a 6 year relationship, because we are working at a different places. it literally took her 6 weeks to fall for another guy.
have been feeling suicidal for the past few days, even got into a minor motor vehicle accident.
*
gym.. workout as revenge.
im in the same phase.
cfa28
post Jun 10 2018, 10:12 AM

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TS not rubbing it it but you were probably 2 timed by your ex.

Focus on yourself meaning your career, job, health and family.


TSdaerkelani
post Jun 10 2018, 10:55 AM

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never seen a person who came to ask for break up, apologize, came back to ask if you are okay, ask the ex to keep stuffs that she gave and tell the ex that she is keeping stuff he gave, saying she appreciate it. i wanted to step out of this shit, but then she came to do all this. wth.
Kanan Jarrus
post Jun 10 2018, 11:03 AM

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QUOTE(daerkelani @ Jun 10 2018, 10:55 AM)
never seen a person who came to ask for break up, apologize, came back to ask if you are okay, ask the ex to keep stuffs that she gave and tell the ex that she is keeping stuff he gave, saying she appreciate it. i wanted to step out of this shit, but then she came to do all this. wth.
*
just throw away all the stuffs back at her, no matter what. in order to fully eliminate her from your life and your mind, you need to get rid of any materials that can make you reminisce back at her.

then, the next phase is to cut off contact, and prioritize yourself, just as mentioned by other forumers. that's what you need to focus at the moment, and you can only do so if you've eliminated her

TS, consider yourself a bit lucky that you know how unfaithful she is right now in this stage of life, some even got it worse, they got married, and turned out the husband/wife played with outsiders/coworkers at their spouses back, these cases are already considered norm even at this era

you need time, and you need family/close friends(close friends, not coworkers, if you don't have one then now's the time to find them) to help picking you up at this point. all the best
ariffdude
post Jun 10 2018, 07:02 PM

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QUOTE(Sadru @ Jun 10 2018, 12:09 AM)
gym.. workout as revenge.
im in the same phase.
*
this. It f*cking works man.
kitiii
post Jun 10 2018, 11:15 PM

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hey man. you is the decent man and deserve decent partner. sometimes, life lesson hit us really hard however in the end there's always a lesson that we can learn. based on your story, maybe the lesson is it teach you about being in love however its not with the right person. move on is the hardest thing moreover it was long duration of relationship. take your time and try enjoy your. please reach your closest friend and tell them about this. you deserve better man and im sure there is right girl out there waiting for you. pm me if you feel like to share anything.
ymc2303
post Jun 11 2018, 12:48 AM

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QUOTE(daerkelani @ Jun 9 2018, 07:07 PM)
just fell out of love from a 6 year relationship, because we are working at a different places. it literally took her 6 weeks to fall for another guy.
have been feeling suicidal for the past few days, even got into a minor motor vehicle accident.
*
what doesn't kills you, makes you stronger.
why don't you go on a road trip oversea? maybe you can clear up something inside your mind and maybe an adventure?
SUSCherryx
post Jun 11 2018, 09:03 AM

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There is no other way except time for me. Right now, crying as I type this.
yewyeah
post Jun 11 2018, 02:29 PM

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As some people said, workout . now I go jog and weight training, six day a week.
Broke up with my ex 3month ago.(5 years relationship).
I m consider myself a good boyfriend.I gave everything to her, My time,My salary,My love(100% of it), cut all my contact with any female friend,bring her go concert, vacation,listen to what she said with my 100% attention,because whenever she got a problem,she will call me(any time,including my working hour). Then I will comfort her,gave her surprise(DIY dinner, gift, flowers etc etc),Wishes her good morning and good night everyday(since the day we become couple).

Just after 1 or 2 week, she got a new bf,the new bf is the one she used to said just her ‘best friend’ icon_idea.gif lol .And yes, sadness, the feeling, all the sweet memory pop up in my head whenever I try to sleep.Keep thinking why why why? All the things she gave me make me feel even worst when I see it. (My bag, wallet, earphone,watches,shirts,almost everything )

Some close friend of mine said I spoiled my ex kao kao. I treat her like my princess, better than myself.
After the brokeup , Im just DEAD inside my heart sad.gif

Now, feeling better. workout made my mind clear. laugh.gif
I did not throw anything that she gave, will do it some day once I can said to myself: I m ok now.

My personal opinion to TS is: F*** it, Just be a bad boy better. brows.gif Find someone that love you,appreciate for what you do. And don't expect returns in the LOVE world, the less you expect,the less you get hurt.

And sorry for my lousy english. icon_idea.gif icon_idea.gif

I deserve a better girl ,I can find a better girl. Keep this in your heart.

This post has been edited by yewyeah: Jun 11 2018, 02:51 PM
kennykong85
post Jun 11 2018, 03:00 PM

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simple, work ur ass off, light up a fire on ur ass if required, when u reach ur peak financially and physically (by exercising)

when u look back 5 yrs / 10 yrs later and review what u said here, u ll laugh for sure.

u deserved a better lady and a better future lies ahead of u.

Blofeld
post Jun 11 2018, 03:01 PM

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have choices in life.

date as many girls as you want
Drian
post Jun 12 2018, 11:20 AM

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QUOTE(daerkelani @ Jun 9 2018, 07:07 PM)
just fell out of love from a 6 year relationship, because we are working at a different places. it literally took her 6 weeks to fall for another guy.
have been feeling suicidal for the past few days, even got into a minor motor vehicle accident.
*
To be frank if that was true , she already fall for the other guy before the 6 weeks.


TSdaerkelani
post Jun 12 2018, 07:55 PM

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QUOTE(Drian @ Jun 12 2018, 12:20 PM)
To be frank if that was true , she already fall for the other guy before the 6 weeks.
*
Well she only knew the guy after she got posted to the new working place. that was 6 weeks. There was a hint from her once that her superior is after her when we just started working. well, seems that i trusted her too much.

QUOTE(Blofeld @ Jun 11 2018, 04:01 PM)
have choices in life.

date as many girls as you want
*
Considering that. but then i am too busy with my work, which in one way helps in resolving the pain.

QUOTE(magasel @ Jun 11 2018, 10:14 AM)
TS, look at the brighter side, she and you are not meant to be together, imagine if she can betray you macam ini, she will sure betray you in a marriage. Don't think she can find a boyfriend within 6 weeks. That guy been pursuing her since day 1.

I know its hard but its time you get back to your feet.

1. Watch horror movies to get your mind off her
2. Be closer to your family, now is time to get in touch
3. Go to gym, burn out those excess fat
4. Join social activities or religious activities - study new concepts to get your mind off and refocus
5. Concentrate on career and better yourself
6. Do not try to have future gf like her. Dare to try different dating, please do not try to form the girl to be like your ex. Try to change your mindset to accept different kinds of girl
*
1. To timid for that
2. Yeah, but my family are busy too. Always wake up and come back to an empty home.
3. my BMI is only 20.
4. Yeah, reluctant to go back to empty home after night shift. rather joining colleagues for chat
5. Its hard to focus on it initially, but i am trying hard to divert my attention to the loss
6. Definitely. She was such a disappointment.
Well, a loss is a loss. Its beyond repair. Tried to reconcile but came back to more hurtful words.

QUOTE(yewyeah @ Jun 11 2018, 03:29 PM)
As some people said, workout . now I go jog and weight training, six day a week.
Broke up with my ex 3month ago.(5 years relationship).
I m consider myself a good boyfriend.I gave everything to her, My time,My salary,My love(100% of it), cut all my contact with any female friend,bring her go concert, vacation,listen to what she said with my 100% attention,because whenever she got a problem,she will call me(any time,including my working hour). Then I will comfort her,gave her surprise(DIY dinner, gift, flowers etc etc),Wishes her good morning and good night everyday(since the day we become couple).

Just after 1 or 2 week, she got a new bf,the new bf is the one she used to said just her ‘best friend’  icon_idea.gif lol .And yes, sadness, the feeling, all the sweet memory pop up in my head whenever I try to sleep.Keep thinking why why why? All the things she gave me make me feel even worst when I see it. (My bag, wallet, earphone,watches,shirts,almost everything )

Some close friend of mine said I spoiled my ex kao kao. I treat her like my princess, better than myself.
After the brokeup , Im just DEAD inside my heart   sad.gif

Now, feeling better. workout made my mind clear.  laugh.gif
I did not throw anything that she gave, will do it some day once I can said to myself: I m ok now.

My personal opinion to TS is: F*** it,  Just be a bad boy better.  brows.gif   Find someone that love you,appreciate for what you do. And don't expect returns in the LOVE world, the less you expect,the less you get hurt.

And sorry for my lousy english.  icon_idea.gif  icon_idea.gif

I deserve a better girl ,I can find a better girl. Keep this in your heart.
*
Glad that you are almost over it.

She asked me not throw things she gave me and she wanna keep things i gave her. She said she appreciate them. Even said she thanked for good memories and things I had done, she will remember, felt sorry for breaking up, apologize and talk those craps. I was like F it, what shit she was talking about, 100% anger and 100% sadness. Well, i didnt throw away, but kept them in the store. Will pass them to the next person I care for.

Sometimes people tend to lose their integrity, and they lost the way on what they really want in their life. Or maybe they just lost faith in their partner. In my case, I guess all 3 of the factors came into play.
yewyeah
post Jun 13 2018, 12:19 AM

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QUOTE(daerkelani @ Jun 12 2018, 08:12 PM)
Glad that you are almost over it.

She asked me not throw things she gave me and she wanna keep things i gave her. She said she appreciate them. Even said she thanked for good memories and things I had done, she will remember, felt sorry for breaking up, apologize and talk those craps. I was like F it, what shit she was talking about, 100% anger and 100% sadness. Well, i didnt throw away, but kept them in the store. Will pass them to the next person I care for.

Sometimes people tend to lose their integrity, and they lost the way on what they really want in their life. Or maybe they just lost faith in their partner. In my case, I guess all 3 of the factors came into play.
*
well,my opinion is :Keep the things until you feel ok. then throw it. Do not pass them to the next person, all things are reset.
people tend to change after long time. including your loved one.
so next time, give 40% of your love to someone, save the 60% for yourself.
some women tend to think with feeling ,heart,while the men mostly think with logic.
Thats why after sometimes, when women found some ''feeling''from others male, they leave you,no matter how hard you try.
I lost faith on women though. brows.gif I learned the hard lesson, surely I will not put all my heart and effort in the future relationship.
I dating few girls now, quite enjoying brows.gif brows.gif but NO, no more gf bf stuff for me. Just for fun biggrin.gif
Some say there are less good men in the world, but I sure most of the GOOD men had turn into the BAD men after some breakup.

The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance .
Only time will heal the wound,Accept that you are single now, accept that no more couples things in your life for now, accept that you can't hoping for miracle to happen,you got the responsibility to treat yourself better.
Go vacation, get to know more friends, sports, pets, YOLO icon_idea.gif
You can't change world if you cannot change yourself.
Be good,Be better, after that, I sure there will be one lovely girl that willing to spend the rest of her life with you. thumbup.gif

Lastly,just want to said:I feel you bro blush.gif ,I feel your sadness blush.gif .
As I typing this, I think my sadness from breakup also relieved so much.
Be strong. thumbsup.gif



ZZR-Pilot
post Jun 28 2018, 08:55 PM

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QUOTE(daerkelani @ Jun 9 2018, 08:07 PM)
just fell out of love from a 6 year relationship, because we are working at a different places. it literally took her 6 weeks to fall for another guy.
have been feeling suicidal for the past few days, even got into a minor motor vehicle accident.
*
Been there, done that. Best advice? GET EVEN BY GETTING BETTER.

Vent out by pushing yourself hard at the gym.

Then get out, get social, live your life the best you can.

Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing that you suffered without her.


 

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