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> Dating a girl that ... smokes

DS_DS
post Jun 12 2018, 05:13 PM

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Don't expect her to change willingly. Unless both of you communicate and talk this out.

You are judging her, at the same time she is judging you too.

Talk to each other about your expectations if you want o be in a relationship/
joedpa82
post Jun 12 2018, 05:16 PM

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U like her? What doea smoking have to do with anything.
ymc2303
post Jun 13 2018, 12:47 PM

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Biggest NO in relationship is attempt to change your partner as you deemed fit even if you think its the best decision ever. either you live with the fact they can't change and adapt to their lifestyle OR you walk out of it and find someone else that doesn't have that lifestyle clash.

either smoking or swearing, if you can't handle such person, i suggest TS you walk out of it.
Randomization
post Jun 13 2018, 01:14 PM

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Let her know that smoking is a deal breaker.

If she is willing to stop, then good for you.

If not, then find other lo.
yoonyin
post Jun 13 2018, 03:23 PM

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As long she don't smoke in front of you, affect your healthy lifestyle routine, why not? Let her smoke lo.

Come on, is the same like she asking you to stop hitting the gym, and smoke with her. If you love her, you willing to give up your hobby for her. It make sense right?

I don't see smoking is the showstopper that will affect your relationship with her. If you can't take it, just find a girl that love sport and hit the gym as much as you do.

This post has been edited by yoonyin: Jun 13 2018, 03:25 PM
TOHNO
post Jun 13 2018, 08:38 PM

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Nah we called it off already, don't wanna prepare myself for a massive argument later on.

For those who are asking what's the big idea.

Well this is basically MY thought process , it isn't right or anything just an opinion from the tip of my skull.


1. Eventual Child

- Yes I'm thinking way too far, but if I'm committing to a relationship with you it's for an eventual spouse and to an eventual child.

and chances are smokers well ... I rather leave this part out .


2. Horrendous Investment

RM10/day to bring you even more issues in the near future? Sounds like a bad investment


3. Hospitalization

Medical bills are one thing but seeing a lover suffer when she's 60 - 70 , don't sound fun


Surely all these aren't set in stone. Heck i might get cancer one day , i never know but i dont think being with someone that's increasing his/her chances of an even more painful future is worthwhile.

Hence
kirakun
post Jun 14 2018, 10:10 AM

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QUOTE(TOHNO @ Jun 13 2018, 08:38 PM)
Nah we called it off already, don't wanna prepare myself for a massive argument later on.

For those who are asking what's the big idea.

Well this is basically MY thought process , it isn't right or anything just an opinion from the tip of my skull.
1.  Eventual Child

- Yes I'm thinking way too far, but if I'm committing to a relationship with you it's for an eventual spouse and to an eventual child.

and chances are smokers well ... I rather leave this part out .
2. Horrendous Investment

RM10/day to bring you even more issues in the near future? Sounds like a bad investment
3. Hospitalization

Medical bills are one thing but seeing a lover suffer when she's 60 - 70 , don't sound fun
Surely all these aren't set in stone. Heck i might get cancer one day , i never know but i dont  think being with someone that's increasing his/her chances of an even more painful future is worthwhile.

Hence
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Good call and right on the spot!

For public awareness.


chiahau
post Jun 14 2018, 09:23 PM

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Speaking from personal experience.

I've dated a smoker back in the days. Before we went further in the process, I outlined the fact that I am totally allergic to cigarette's smoke and exposure to them would not be good for my poor eyes and body.

She understood my perspective and stopped smoking after finishing her last packet. And even though we didn't end up together today, we still bump into one another and till today, she stopped smoking almost totally except for an odd stick here and there.

So I guess the moral of the story is, don't condemned someone to death before knowing them well. Talk to her, understand that smoking is sometimes not permanent and things could actually end up positively.


fish_hoo
post Jun 15 2018, 02:34 PM

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took years for her to become a smoker, and blink of eye, expect her to quit? that's quite impossible. unless, both of you have very solid reason for her to quit, like pregnancy???
diadokmai
post Jun 22 2018, 08:07 AM

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QUOTE(donfutsal @ Jun 8 2018, 08:16 AM)
don't change the girl

change your taste 1st  or find some 1 else rclxm9.gif
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agreed
donfutsal
post Jun 22 2018, 09:53 AM

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QUOTE(diadokmai @ Jun 22 2018, 08:07 AM)
agreed
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