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 Girl as best friend, Possible?, Warning : long story to read

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TSFlame111
post May 30 2018, 11:54 PM

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QUOTE(brownman90561495 @ May 30 2018, 11:44 PM)
Ok cool beans.

Anyway hope you wont be offended as im sure you dont intend this, but dont make her feel that you're "buying" her, and chances are, giving her an s9 would make her feel at least close to that. And givimg her a lesser priced phone just to compensate isnt too different.

It's cool of her she is trying to save for further studies. If i were in your position, i would instead shower her with encouragement on pushing through that further studies, support her in little ways like for example "if you pass this semester without any failing subjects, i will treat you to dinner" or something like that. I dont know man, it just seems giving her an s9 for her birthday is an easy way out just because you have the money.

If my female bff really matters to me, i would rather have my her having a lousy phone than lose her at all.
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Nah mate, I'm all about taking in other people's perspective to paint a bigger picture as I'm not familiar with current situation.

In a way it does seems that I'm using money to buy her. Actually I've tried something like that in the past, like we were doing bowling so we had a bet that people with the least amount of points would pay for later's dinner. Tho I like to clarify that I didn't think of our friendship that serious back then as to now. It's more like I like to do bets like that just to add a little "fun" all the time LOL

Maybe I'll consider how i'm going to gift it to her, like throwing a letter with the gift.
persona93
post May 30 2018, 11:54 PM

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got gf still want friend?


TSFlame111
post May 30 2018, 11:56 PM

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QUOTE(WaCKy-Angel @ May 30 2018, 11:51 PM)
And i still didnt see what he bought for his gf for her birthday, other than bring her to Bali.
iinm going Bali costs cheaper than samsung s9
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Well, it's not about the price of a present tho right? My girlfriend mentioned about going to beaches like bali, phuket etc. So i surprised her with air tickets and accommodation.

QUOTE(persona93 @ May 30 2018, 11:54 PM)
got gf still want friend?
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My gf study and work part time at her mum's place. Her schedule is very full that we could only hang out on saturday before 5.30pm (her shift starts at 5.30pm)
brownman90561495
post May 31 2018, 12:25 AM

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QUOTE(Flame111 @ May 30 2018, 11:54 PM)
Nah mate, I'm all about taking in other people's perspective to paint a bigger picture as I'm not familiar with current situation.

In a way it does seems that I'm using money to buy her. Actually I've tried something like that in the past, like we were doing bowling so we had a bet that people with the least amount of points would pay for later's dinner. Tho I like to clarify that I didn't think of our friendship that serious back then as to now. It's more like I like to do bets like that just to add a little "fun" all the time LOL

Maybe I'll consider how i'm going to gift it to her, like throwing a letter with the gift.
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At least you are honest with your unfamiliarity of the situation thumbup.gif well surely thats how you arrived here in CC in the first place.

Anyway, just send her support all throughout, and of course all within reason (as you have your own gf) smile.gif
TSFlame111
post May 31 2018, 12:33 AM

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QUOTE(brownman90561495 @ May 31 2018, 12:25 AM)
At least you are honest with your unfamiliarity of the situation thumbup.gif well surely thats how you arrived here in CC in the first place.

Anyway, just send her support all throughout, and of course all within reason (as you have your own gf) smile.gif
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Will try to make sure I won't jeopardize my current relationship and have C as my best friend, thank you!
3rdEdition
post May 31 2018, 12:41 AM

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there's no such thing bff with a girl other than ur gf.
if there's a girl resonates so much with u, she should be ur gf, not bff.

giving phone to her is fine but dont do it secretly, better yet just give it together with ur gf.

if you dont allow or feel uncomfortable with ur gf hanging around with C, then there's something wrong in this "bff" relationship. u shud include more peers hanging around with her rather than just urself.
brownman90561495
post May 31 2018, 12:49 AM

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QUOTE(Flame111 @ May 31 2018, 12:33 AM)
Will try to make sure I won't jeopardize my current relationship and have C as my best friend, thank you!
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You're welcome bro. All the best! smile.gif
TSFlame111
post May 31 2018, 01:13 AM

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QUOTE(3rdEdition @ May 31 2018, 12:41 AM)
there's no such thing bff with a girl other than ur gf.
if there's a girl resonates so much with u, she should be ur gf, not bff.

giving phone to her is fine but dont do it secretly, better yet just give it together with ur gf.

if you dont allow or feel uncomfortable with ur gf hanging around with C, then there's something wrong in this "bff" relationship. u shud include more peers hanging around with her rather than just urself.
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I'm sorry but i beg to differ, I believe there are more than one people that could just "connects" with you in a level that normal friends don't.

Yep, I did consult with my girlfriend just last night, about potentially having an opposite sex bff. She was very supportive which is why I decided to seek further help on this forum about C's perspective, how the lowyat-ers in C's shoe would react.

I actually suggested having my gf to meet C someday if everything goes according to plan. She was excited by the thought of having a best friend from my side to hang out with, usually it's with gf's girl group or little sister and cousins as mine are doing their education overseas.

C and I are doing a different degree right now so I'm not familiar with her classmates. However she had told me that she felt uncomfortable with her "usual classmates that she hanged out with" as they always bring her parent's name into the conversation.(Yes they are boys, her class doesn't have many girls). Although it's a joke or told in a light-hearted manner, she's albeit defensive when it comes to her family due to past experience of her admirer stalking her in her grandma's house. I'll keep that in mind and try to have Z to join us if C ever ask me out. Thank you.

Edit: @brownman, you too!

This post has been edited by Flame111: May 31 2018, 01:18 AM
regan96
post May 31 2018, 01:20 AM

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I literally read all the comments and from what I have read most of them are saying that its a bad idea and I am kinda agreeing with them. You might think that buying her a phone is as a gift but she might think that you're buying the friendship but it's just my opinion. You should make the decision cause you should be able to guessing by your age. Why not ask your girlfriend what she thinks. If she is supportive the why not. Hope I am helpful smile.gif
TSFlame111
post May 31 2018, 01:27 AM

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QUOTE(regan96 @ May 31 2018, 01:20 AM)
I literally read all the comments and from what I have read most of them are saying that its a bad idea and I am kinda agreeing with them. You might think that buying her a phone is as a gift but she might think that you're buying the friendship but it's just my opinion. You should make the decision cause you should be able to guessing by your age. Why not ask your girlfriend what she thinks. If she is supportive the why not. Hope I am helpful smile.gif
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Yes, that's why I'm thinking of adding a letter into the gift, clarifying everything and write my thoughts in it, sort of what Z did when she gift C a necklace and a pair of earrings. Although I'm not sure if that would completely mitigate the risk.

I asked my girlfriend about it and she said based on C's current situation, it's doable but i had to come with very convincing explanation, or downgrade it to S8.


regan96
post May 31 2018, 01:32 AM

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QUOTE(Flame111 @ May 31 2018, 02:27 AM)
Yes, that's why I'm thinking of adding a letter into the gift, clarifying everything and write my thoughts in it, sort of what Z did when she gift C a necklace and a pair of earrings. Although I'm not sure if that would completely mitigate the risk.

I asked my girlfriend about it and she said based on C's current situation, it's doable but i had to come with very convincing explanation, or downgrade it to S8.
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Hey, I cant really give an honest opinion cause I dont know how the relationship works between you and C but if you think that she will accept it then go ahead with your plan cause the more you hesitate the more you will doubt on what you wanna buy plus I am around your's and C's age so thats why I can give a suggestion. So like I said, if you have really thought about it, give it a go.

Cheers,
TSFlame111
post May 31 2018, 01:45 AM

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QUOTE(regan96 @ May 31 2018, 01:32 AM)
Hey, I cant really give an honest opinion cause I dont know how the relationship works between you and C but if you think that she will accept it then go ahead with your plan cause the more you hesitate the more you will doubt on what you wanna buy plus I am around your's and C's age so thats why I can give a suggestion. So like I said, if you have really thought about it, give it a go.

Cheers,
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it's alrite mate, cheers smile.gif

You're right lmao, the more i hesitate the more i have doubts hahahaha
Fzeo
post May 31 2018, 01:46 AM

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nvr too kind to a girl.
TSFlame111
post May 31 2018, 01:58 AM

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QUOTE(Fzeo @ May 31 2018, 01:46 AM)
nvr too kind to a girl.
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Why?
regan96
post May 31 2018, 02:18 AM

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QUOTE(Flame111 @ May 31 2018, 02:45 AM)
it's alrite mate, cheers smile.gif

You're right lmao, the more i hesitate the more i have doubts hahahaha
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Anytime smile.gif Glad that I can help
superng888
post May 31 2018, 07:21 AM

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TS These are my thoughts.

In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong about having a girl as your best friend. There is nothing wrong about your intention of giving a phone to her as a gift. But there are few things that need to be taken into consideration.

Make sure it’s clear that you are just giving her the gift for your own reasons and because she is a really good friend to you. Nothing more and nothing less. It’s also good that you discussed the matter with your girlfriend. Let your giflfriend know and not make it a secret. If you think it’s too much, then just buy a budget high end phone but port her phone number into an unlimited plan like Digi unlimited data plan. Since she watch a lot of movies on her phone so to me, that would be a better idea.

If she refuses and insist that she cannot take it then please don’t force her. Give her some time and try giving it to her again but, if she insist on refusing again then just stop. She probably don’t want to feel indebted or even have gossips around.

I am not sure about your relationship with your girlfriend but to me, this is honestly a red flag. You mentioned that you have so many things that click with your best friend but what about your girlfriend? Do you have the same thoughts about your girlfriend? Are you still in a relationship with your girlfriend because you just feel “stable” with your girlfriend because you both have been together for a while. Yes, she’s busy but I hope you always remember to not cross the line because when you do, someone is going to be hurt.

Just my honest & humble thoughts ya TS smile.gif

l4nunm4l4y4
post May 31 2018, 07:26 AM

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You must have a very lucky GF since you are giving your "best" platonic friend an expensive handphone.
koolspyda
post May 31 2018, 08:30 AM

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QUOTE(Flame111 @ May 30 2018, 11:23 PM)
Nah, she's pretty self restraint. Like she know's the boundary of guys that has gf. So I'm pretty sure she would just see me as a friend. She's the rare breed of logical thinkers HAHAHA
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But of course

Most women can have that distinction, having (male) BFF and that it. They might too have the wishful thinking but usually won't act on it

It's usually the male counterpart (not saying or implying you) that have uneasiness and thought swilling up between bill&ted (or what names I seen ppl call them).. if the lady in particular is pretty, beautiful and smart..

There I suppose you can rest easy.


OK its just my thoughts

This post has been edited by koolspyda: May 31 2018, 08:33 AM
ThisWorldisWeird
post May 31 2018, 08:36 AM

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I was feeling all is fine until Samsung S9.

My question is simple, if your girlfriend gave a Samsung S9 to a hot guy, or received a Samsung S9 from a hot guy, how would you feel honestly?

This post has been edited by ThisWorldisWeird: May 31 2018, 08:43 AM
WaCKy-Angel
post May 31 2018, 08:45 AM

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QUOTE(Flame111 @ May 31 2018, 01:13 AM)
I'm sorry but i beg to differ, I believe there are more than one people that could just "connects" with you in a level that normal friends don't.

Yep, I did consult with my girlfriend just last night, about potentially having an opposite sex bff. She was very supportive which is why I decided to seek further help on this forum about C's perspective, how the lowyat-ers in C's shoe would react.

I actually suggested having my gf to meet C someday if everything goes according to plan. She was excited by the thought of having a best friend from my side to hang out with, usually it's with gf's girl group or little sister and cousins as mine are doing their education overseas.

C and I are doing a different degree right now so I'm not familiar with her classmates. However she had told me that she felt uncomfortable with her "usual classmates that she hanged out with" as they always bring her parent's name into the conversation.(Yes they are boys, her class doesn't have many girls). Although it's a joke or told in a light-hearted manner, she's albeit defensive when it comes to her family due to past experience of her admirer stalking her in her grandma's house. I'll keep that in mind and try to have Z to join us if C ever ask me out. Thank you.

Edit: @brownman, you too!
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I guess gifting an expensive phone is really mean nothing to you, afterall its just around 3K for s9.
If so then just go ahead.

Btw i dont think someone would "connect" just like that, moreover as u said she is quite "hotcake" around guys.
So im pretty sure she dont need a bff especially a guy.

And oh...........u dont go around confessing u want someone to be ur "bff".


QUOTE(l4nunm4l4y4 @ May 31 2018, 07:26 AM)
You must have a very lucky GF since you are giving your "best" platonic friend an expensive handphone.
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Agreed

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