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Advice Wanted my gf said me so old no car and no planning

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TrollneT
post May 7 2018, 11:04 AM

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Hey bro, you ain't loser or idiot. You are doing fine except I think you have to work hard and smart to increase your income. Economy today are quite a challenge to survive. Hence you need to up your game, at least get a car (definitely ease you alot instead of buying a house 1st which is a long term investment). Your gf and her family are just feeling insecure and worried due to the pressure from our economy. But relationship is about commitment and she should commit to make things better too, not just by relying on you. Cheers bro!
lingleeyen
post May 7 2018, 11:09 AM

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1) If your gf is not putting in money for the car and she complained - Ditch her
2) If your gf is not putting in money for the house and she complained - Ditch her
3) If your gf is not putting in money for the dates and all other expenses and she complained - Ditch her
4) If your gf is not putting in money for the future tabung and she complained - Ditch her
5) If your gf is not standing up against her mum to defend you, and trying to understand you - Ditch her

There is a story I know of. A brother ask his sister why she has so much money to buy things for herself. The sister said it is simple. It is because you have a gf and I have a bf.
kutitata
post May 7 2018, 11:10 AM

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QUOTE(lingleeyen @ May 7 2018, 11:09 AM)
1) If your gf is not putting in money for the car and she complained - Ditch her
2) If your gf is not putting in money for the house and she complained - Ditch her
3) If your gf is not putting in money for the dates and all other expenses and she complained - Ditch her
4) If your gf is not putting in money for the future tabung and she complained - Ditch her
5) If your gf is not standing up against her mum to defend you, and trying to understand you - Ditch her

There is a story I know of. A brother ask his sister why she has so much money to buy things for herself. The sister said it is simple. It is because you have a gf and I have a bf.
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THIS!
gsrc
post May 7 2018, 11:13 AM

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QUOTE(lingleeyen @ May 7 2018, 11:09 AM)
1) If your gf is not putting in money for the car and she complained - Ditch her
2) If your gf is not putting in money for the house and she complained - Ditch her
3) If your gf is not putting in money for the dates and all other expenses and she complained - Ditch her
4) If your gf is not putting in money for the future tabung and she complained - Ditch her
5) If your gf is not standing up against her mum to defend you, and trying to understand you - Ditch her

There is a story I know of. A brother ask his sister why she has so much money to buy things for herself. The sister said it is simple. It is because you have a gf and I have a bf.
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Sadly typical Asian girls will have this kind of mindset. Everything must paid by boyfriend.

Hard to find good waifu material, who really will put an effort to have a dream life or family with you.
nebula87
post May 7 2018, 11:17 AM

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QUOTE(jenny1990 @ May 6 2018, 11:55 AM)
i have been with my gf for 3 years.  she keep asking me to buy car to fetch her.  even her mother also hinted me. i already said in future will buy car.  Also, she keep asking how was my planning for future? when buy house and car. she also ask me work tgt to find side income to prove her mom.other than that,she also comparing frenbf always fetch go around and treat eat. with the 1.9k nett salary after minus epf.  i am dy 27 yo with no house andcar. am i just loser and idiot?
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Sorry to pop your bubble.

1.9k nett salary ain't enough to support a family in the future.

Your GF's mother is trying to hint you to work hard and get more income to source the family of you and her daughter next day.

Pursuing you to buy a car, hoping that both of you can stay safe and worried free traveling in rainy days.
Pursuing you to own/rent a house, worried that one day if you both have a child, need a place to stay.

Don't blame the in-laws for thinking that way.

Have you trying to look for a better opportunity?




RisingTide
post May 7 2018, 11:20 AM

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QUOTE(jenny1990 @ May 6 2018, 11:55 AM)
i have been with my gf for 3 years.  she keep asking me to buy car to fetch her.  even her mother also hinted me. i already said in future will buy car.  Also, she keep asking how was my planning for future? when buy house and car. she also ask me work tgt to find side income to prove her mom.other than that,she also comparing frenbf always fetch go around and treat eat. with the 1.9k nett salary after minus epf.  i am dy 27 yo with no house andcar. am i just loser and idiot?
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Bro, to be honest with you, RM1.9k isn't enough, especially for your age; what are you currently working as? what are you qualifications?
I hope your gf realizes that being in a relationship is a 2 way street; a push and pull kind of thing; both parties have to equally contribute to the relationship;
How about your gf? Does the have a car herself? How are her efforts in pursuing a future together with you?

IMO, not having a house nor a car doesn't make you a loser. A Man is not measured by the material wealth he has accumulated; but the actions and responsibilities he shoulder.

On the other hand, perhaps indirectly, your gf and her mother, by hinting your to pursue a plan to purchase a house and a car is a way to hint you to seek for better opportunities for a higher paying job, seeing that your current RM1.9k is quite low compared to the average salary.
As the bf, you should be looking towards a long term and stable future for you and your gf; perhaps this is what your gf is looking for. Women prefer men with a plan for a future together.

This post has been edited by RisingTide: May 7 2018, 11:25 AM
soulhunter87
post May 7 2018, 11:22 AM

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no problem dont have car. but no future planning? lucky your gf still with u
lingleeyen
post May 7 2018, 11:22 AM

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QUOTE(gsrc @ May 7 2018, 11:13 AM)
Sadly typical Asian girls will have this kind of mindset. Everything must paid by boyfriend.

Hard to find good waifu material, who really will put an effort to have a dream life or family with you.
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Yup. When you find one better not let go. Else stay single. You will be richer that way and in a better position. Fuck that "You should spend on me even I make as much as you".
kopiride
post May 7 2018, 11:23 AM

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QUOTE(jenny1990 @ May 6 2018, 02:57 PM)
thank you bro. i will find solution to improve my financial.
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what are you working as right now? For 27 yo with 2k income is less than any other factory operators working at this age.
MakNok
post May 7 2018, 11:24 AM

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QUOTE(jenny1990 @ May 6 2018, 11:55 AM)
i have been with my gf for 3 years.  she keep asking me to buy car to fetch her.  even her mother also hinted me. i already said in future will buy car.  Also, she keep asking how was my planning for future? when buy house and car. she also ask me work tgt to find side income to prove her mom.other than that,she also comparing frenbf always fetch go around and treat eat. with the 1.9k nett salary after minus epf.  i am dy 27 yo with no house andcar. am i just loser and idiot?
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Frankly speaking with RM2k and living in Klang Valley....ain't enough.
Time to be Lone Ranger and accumulate your saving.
or go pick apple/berries at New Zealand...Japan or Korea...US




skinny-dipper
post May 7 2018, 11:37 AM

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work harder to increase your income yo.
gsrc
post May 7 2018, 11:47 AM

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QUOTE(MakNok @ May 7 2018, 11:24 AM)
Frankly speaking with RM2k and living in Klang Valley....ain't enough.
Time to be Lone Ranger and accumulate your saving.
or go pick apple/berries at New Zealand...Japan or Korea...US
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Actually support this idea, TS can ask his GF to join him as well.

Go see the world, and also learn to live together as well. You will have a different perspective on life.
lovejerk
post May 7 2018, 11:49 AM

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Bro. No matter what, we support you!! Dont give up! Work harder. No body know what will happen in future.
ymc2303
post May 7 2018, 02:44 PM

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QUOTE(jenny1990 @ May 6 2018, 11:55 AM)
i have been with my gf for 3 years.  she keep asking me to buy car to fetch her.  even her mother also hinted me. i already said in future will buy car.  Also, she keep asking how was my planning for future? when buy house and car. she also ask me work tgt to find side income to prove her mom.other than that,she also comparing frenbf always fetch go around and treat eat. with the 1.9k nett salary after minus epf.  i am dy 27 yo with no house andcar. am i just loser and idiot?
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financially she need to be involved in planning for future. if your salary is sufficient for food, utility, room rent and transport, that is the bare minimum. realistically if you paying everything by yourself, its better to be single than having a gf. but having supportive gf when planning to buy car or get a house, at least burden is shared. just talk to her, make some short goal that both of you can achieve. low salary is better than not working right? 27yrs old not 47yrs old right? no house no car now doesn't mean no car no house in next 10 or 20yrs right? work for it. your only obstacle is yourself.

This post has been edited by ymc2303: May 7 2018, 02:46 PM
iZuDeeN
post May 7 2018, 02:46 PM

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start small ; get a motorbike
lil_flank
post May 7 2018, 03:38 PM

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TS, how old is your gf? As girls age, they tends to have insecurity for their future.
Ivan113
post May 7 2018, 04:57 PM

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plan your career path man, pretty sure you can do it if you have a solid plan. A lot of side incomes out there, some might failed, some might give you a big fortune, but most importantly is never give up. Failing isn't losing, giving up is.
joey2000
post May 7 2018, 05:27 PM

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A car is a basic need. You should be thankful she is still with you even you got no car and no house.

Go get an Axia and drive Grab. It may help you in short term.
cfa28
post May 7 2018, 05:51 PM

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Dear TS, Let me tell you a story of an old school friend of mine.

He was dating this girl since the early 1990s. My friend like you was not from a rich family and he was the eldest in his family and had to work and study at the same time to help his aging parents. He was studying for his professional course as he could not afford to study full time in a local university.

By the time it was in the late 1990s, he was dating the same girl and was only earning around RM2.2K and the girlfriend family was doing their own trading business and was earning big bucks.

The family would look down on him and ask him what he was trying to do, and that it was no point to study and and how he was going to marry their sister as he did not have his own house. By this time, he was already almost 30.

Okay, so he finally passed his exams but pay in Malaysia was still very low. He decided to work abroad. By this time, he was already past 30 and had dated the girlfriend for more than 10-years.

The girlfriend never pressured him to get married but he did not want his girlfriend to worry about the relationship so he decided to get married before going abroad. His girlfriend did not want to distract him from his work and did not want to follow him although he did ask her.

The pay abroad was much more than what he was getting in Malaysia and after 5-years, he came back and bought his house and decided to start a family. Today, he is almost 50 and has his own practice and has 2-children.


The narration above is a real event but the actual situation may not be applicable to you.

What is applicable is

1) You must have ambition and determination to make a better life for yourself and your family

2) But ambition and determination alone is not enough – you need a game plan and the necessary skills

3) You also need a very understanding and supportive partner who will encourage and motivate you to achieve your goals

4) The journey of life is very long and always see long term and don’t be derailed by detractors in your life.

TS, what you need to ask yourself is what are the skills that you have or need that can help you to achieve your goals.

I hope that you can achieve your goals with your current partner but don’t be disheartened if you have to carry on this journey alone, When you succeed, I hope you can find someone else to share your success with.



mobc1990
post May 7 2018, 06:00 PM

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QUOTE(burgerRamli @ May 7 2018, 11:34 AM)
Only 3 months? what happened? sweat.gif
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Many reason.i very sad la,don’t wish to type here.If you really interested then pm me,I tell you haha

This post has been edited by mobc1990: May 7 2018, 06:00 PM

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