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Advice Wanted Need some proper advice

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TSHafeesFadil
post Apr 18 2018, 10:22 AM, updated 6y ago

Getting Started
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Junior Member
170 posts

Joined: Jan 2014
So basically I'm being wif this girl around 4 years.

For first year everything seem to be smooth and nice.

For second year I start to argue wif her and its become like habit.

Reason for this is I'm really stress at office and I got no idea how to tell her.

After 4 years, I'm sick and I really not sure what I'm thinking, I said to her
that I'm thinking to break up.

In same time. during few weeks or maybe a month ago, she decided to know
1 guy which is driver bus from bus she took to office.

That guy seem so caring about her, send her medicine and everything.
Meanwhile I never do that before.

Now we're in conflict when her parents interrupt.

We're getting married soon.. But now on how I threat her, she seem opening her heart for this guy already.
I'm worried. We're getting married.

I try to change by start sending her go office, fetch her back from office cause I'm scared..

Yesterday I decided to meet her and we argue 1 more time until she cannot tahan anymore. She said to me she need time
until end of this month to decide..

In meantime I'm scared she will choose this guy and throw away this 4 years relationship..

Any advice? I'm really feeling so scared+not secure and many more until I can't do my work at office.. Please guy give some proper advice to me..
I know I'm bad for keep arguing wif her until she said she really hurt.. But I really wanna change..

This post has been edited by HafeesFadil: Apr 18 2018, 10:22 AM
Spawny
post Apr 18 2018, 11:22 AM

Lets do this
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Senior Member
676 posts

Joined: Feb 2006
So the reason your arguing with her is because you cant manage your anger management properly? All i see is the stress you have in office which then brought to your personal life and which causes argument, you are a couple you can discuss about everything no such thing as "I do no know how to tell her". To be completely honest I don't blame her for falling for another guy, the guy treat her better than you could cause you lost the plot, and also the way you describe your relationship it seems that both of you do not love each other as of now.


loui
post Apr 18 2018, 11:42 AM

On my way
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Junior Member
686 posts

Joined: Mar 2005
From: Seri Kembangan / Kota Bharu
base on your post, you seems to know where the problem lies

1. bad temper
2. lack of care

there are no easy solutions since you basically single handed ruin the relationship

work from there, improve yourself, show her that you are doing your best to become a better bf/husband

rather then cancelling the wedding(if she ask for it), come to a compromise where both of you postpone the wedding for a year to give both parties a second chance

goodluck

This post has been edited by loui: Apr 18 2018, 11:44 AM
TSHafeesFadil
post Apr 18 2018, 12:02 PM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
170 posts

Joined: Jan 2014
QUOTE(loui @ Apr 18 2018, 11:42 AM)
base on your post, you seems to know where the problem lies

1. bad temper
2. lack of care

there are no easy solutions since you basically single handed ruin the relationship

work from there, improve yourself, show her that you are doing your best to become a better bf/husband

rather then cancelling the wedding(if she ask for it), come to a compromise where both of you postpone the wedding for a year to give both parties a second chance

goodluck
*
I'm trying.. Now I more focus and care about her..

I hope she giving me chance.. cry.gif
hanii
post Apr 18 2018, 12:23 PM

New Member
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Newbie
14 posts

Joined: Dec 2017


Open up your problems to her. Change job if you cant handle the stress. Take up a less stressful job. You dont want a scream chain in your life. Your marriage will only end up in divorce if you keep this up, if there is a marriage it is.
TSHafeesFadil
post Apr 18 2018, 01:29 PM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
170 posts

Joined: Jan 2014
QUOTE(hanii @ Apr 18 2018, 12:23 PM)
Open up your problems to her. Change job if you cant handle the stress. Take up a less stressful job. You dont want a scream chain in your life. Your marriage will only end up in divorce if you keep this up, if there is a marriage it is.
*
Thank you!
veralicious
post Apr 18 2018, 01:48 PM

New Member
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Newbie
43 posts

Joined: Apr 2017
QUOTE(HafeesFadil @ Apr 18 2018, 10:22 AM)
So basically I'm being wif this girl around 4 years.

For first year everything seem to be smooth and nice.

For second year I start to argue wif her and its become like habit.

Reason for this is I'm really stress at office and I got no idea how to tell her.

After 4 years, I'm sick and I really not sure what I'm thinking, I said to her
that I'm thinking to break up.

In same time. during few weeks or maybe a month ago, she decided to know
1 guy which is driver bus from bus she took to office.

That guy seem so caring about her, send her medicine and everything.
Meanwhile I never do that before.

Now we're in conflict when her parents interrupt.

We're getting married soon.. But now on how I threat her, she seem opening her heart for this guy already.
I'm worried. We're getting married.

I try to change by start sending her go office, fetch her back from office cause I'm scared..

Yesterday I decided to meet her and we argue 1 more time until she cannot tahan anymore. She said to me she need time
until end of this month to decide..

In meantime I'm scared she will choose this guy and throw away this 4 years relationship..

Any advice? I'm really feeling so scared+not secure and many more until I can't do my work at office.. Please guy give some proper advice to me..
I know I'm bad for keep arguing wif her until she said she really hurt.. But I really wanna change..
*
Took you 2-3 years to realized what a jerk you are?
Now she might have found a better guy, and now you started worry about that you might lose her? Just because you don't want the 4-years-relationship goes down to the drain, and feel like wasted your darn time.

Either you start apologize to her, treat her right, make up for your mistake for all these time, or else you have no right to stop her from breaking up with you, because she deserves someone better.

Also, do not force her on anything. Example, if she said, she wants to rethink the marriage. Please, respect her decision, give her the space that she asked for. Change your god damn self and hope one day she realize you have changed, then proceed to marriage.
Worst comes to the worst, if she decided to give up on you, I am sorry TS, but I am afraid you will have to move on. You can keep trying thou..

Anyway, good luck.


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