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Serious Am I a bad boyfriend or what?, Advise

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ymc2303
post Apr 13 2018, 12:25 AM

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it sounded like its all about her. where are you then?
everything you do will not be right, everything you do will be shouted at, just because she is temperamental.
if relationship has no respect, it will go toxic.
you have to stop give in too much, end up you spoil her and she do whatever she wants and then you know the relationship is already toxic.
Zoopdiidoo
post Apr 13 2018, 11:14 AM

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You are not a bad BF, period.
Find an older girl whom doesn't think that everyone else in this world owes her.
This sort of childish attitude is very apparent in younger girls.
Ralna
post Apr 13 2018, 03:02 PM

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QUOTE(Zackwong6167 @ Apr 11 2018, 07:56 PM)
I believe its normal for couples to fight but I'm not sure if couple fight at the slightest of things.

My girlfriend is a very small gas person and known to be "small gas" type of person within her circle of friends.


As of today, we had a huge argument and it got me thinking. I need to be away for a few days so I figured I should spend some time with her before I'm away. So I picked her up from uni and head over to shopping complex since she love shopping. I mentioned a restaurant which i'm dying to eat since its my childhood food. Little did I know was the pricing, and it got her extremely mad. She mentioned she did not want to spend so much on a food (cost around 15-20) and she shouted at me in the restaurant and keep crying. I didn't know what to do and just kept quiet in the restaurant while people looking at me. She complained she was very tired that she woke up early in the morning for class and skipped lunch to rush her assignment and now I brought her to eat shitty and expensive food.

I was clueless when she said that..
In all outings, I never get to eat my favorite food for lunch and dinner and just eat what she likes. Money is never the problem as I can belanja her but she rejected and complained that I brought her to expensive restaurant without researching the menu. I dont understand why she was so mad about it when she can easily spend 40-50 ringgit for her make up stuff and not willingly to spend rm20 for a food that I would like to eat.

am I really a bad boyfriend?

Sorry for the huge ranting but I just feel sad when she said that I fucked up and that she will never trust my words anymore (for not researching the price of the food) and would rather stay at home than letting me bringing her out.
*
TS, it's obvious you're in a toxic relationship and being emotionally abused by a "small gas" gf. You're treating her like a princess and she's treating you like shit. Clearly, she knows how to emotional blackmail you.

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She got mad at restaurant pricing? Need to research menu first before eating out?
Man, this is rubbish. She sounds so stingy & calculative. If your relationship progresses, she'll start controlling your money.

She knows it's your favourite restaurant and you are the one paying for it, not her, and yet she threw a tantrum and said it's shitty food. <--- very difficult to please & ungrateful; fussy

It's also a huge red flag when a woman yells at her man in the public, shaming him and giving him "no face". She doesn't respect you at all.

Sorry to say this, but she's a bitch. You're too nice to her; not a bad bf.

Please man up and be assertive. You need to set boundaries. If she can't adhere to your rules and respect your boundaries, ask her to f**k off. You deserve a lovely and gentle woman who treats you like a prince, not a doormat.

This post has been edited by Ralna: Apr 13 2018, 03:03 PM
MangO
post Apr 14 2018, 03:12 PM

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Some women will make you a better man. This one clearly makes you worse. If she is not value adding to your life whats the point? It needs to go both ways.
-Aktan-
post Apr 16 2018, 08:57 PM

2.6b dah masuk bro
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She is too young.. emotionally still at teenage stage
vincabby
post Apr 17 2018, 01:25 PM

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break up with her. enough said. as one forummer said, she brings no added value. this is a liability.plus after all you done, she should have made some changes to herself even if you grow up in a volcanic family.
j3srocks
post Apr 17 2018, 02:02 PM

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Bro u give in too much... I know u might think LOVE is a beautiful give and take with 2 people making googly eyes at each other but no, it aint.

Your gf small gas but ur her bf man, dont ask her pull that shit on you. Jgn kasi dia pijak lu wei.

Wear the big boy pants and dominate her, dont wimp out and get pushed around. Dont be a victim to emotional blackmail.

You sound like a caring and loving person, i had friends like that too but they were worn down by dodgy gf's. I dont want to see that happen to you.

Like i said earlier its about give and take, only u can decide if its equal or not, but it sounds like more give on ur side.

All the best....
Fyen
post Apr 17 2018, 04:56 PM

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Nah just different priorities. My gf also doesnt like to spend a lot on food either and we usually eat RM6-RM10 food during college. We both spend our money elsewhere, her on her makeup and me on my pc (other than the occasional gifts to each other lah). I guess we're just lucky to see eye to eye and dont feel the need to eat expensive food unless we decide to go on a proper date or go out with friends.

Still tho, crying and shouting in public is a bit too much lah. Quite immature. And that's coming from a guy who just finished college.
TSZackwong6167
post Apr 19 2018, 12:11 AM

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Tq for all the replies guys.
And sorry for the late reply.
So I confronted her about it and she said she was too stressed up about her assignment and said it wasn't my fault.

She mentioned I wasn't the same old bf as last time. Whenever we fought, I'm the one who gave in.

And she mentioned recently I never gave in when we fought and just stay silent the whole time when we argue.

And that is my downfall and red flag for her...

I really have no idea what type of bf am I...

She constantly mentioned she was crying that time and I'm not there with her comforting her but then just get angry and stay silent the whole time. I feel bad.
ashleemak
post Apr 19 2018, 07:28 AM

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Your gf is extremely selfish. Leave her and tell her what is the problem with herself and let her learn and move on with it.

You cannot expect anyone to swallow up all those mindless, selfish act right.
vincabby
post Apr 19 2018, 08:54 AM

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QUOTE(Zackwong6167 @ Apr 19 2018, 12:11 AM)
Tq for all the replies guys.
And sorry for the late reply.
So I confronted her about it and she said she was too stressed up about her assignment and said it wasn't my fault.

She mentioned I wasn't the same old bf as last time. Whenever we fought, I'm the one who gave in.

And she mentioned recently I never gave in when we fought and just stay silent the whole time when we argue.

And that is my downfall and red flag for her...

I really have no idea what type of bf am I...

She constantly mentioned she was crying that time and I'm not there with her comforting her but then just get angry and stay silent the whole time. I feel bad.
*
so staying quiet does not mean give in? she is definitely fucking with you dude. tat is the weakest excuse i heard so far.
R4yMoNd
post May 6 2018, 04:00 PM

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I will dump that kind of girl immediately! It's a warning sign of over emotional and egoistic person
Jeremy Schee
post May 6 2018, 07:22 PM

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You won't want these dramas in your life, she will only drag you down
TSZackwong6167
post May 11 2018, 09:29 PM

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QUOTE(R4yMoNd @ May 6 2018, 04:00 PM)
I will dump that kind of girl immediately! It's a warning sign of over emotional and egoistic person
*
Well we talked about it, and she mentioned that she is feeling stress because of her assignment that why she react like that and then I brought her to shit and expensive food and it made her mood worse
TSZackwong6167
post May 11 2018, 09:32 PM

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I endure her because I love her. I wouldn’t say I’m ugly but of all the girlfriends I had I never love this girl as much as the others.

But today was pretty miserable, she back in hometown and I minding my own business at my own home.

My friend DM me on my insta and I replied him while I was driving ( red traffic light but u know tongue.gif)

And what I forgotten was I didn’t reply her on whatapp 20 minutes ago after she sent. And she got furious and claiming I always ignored her and never put her as first priority when I just overseen her message because the notification is gone on my phone(I never open whatapp After she reply). And well we have a huge argurment.

I wouldn’t cause such a big argurment.. I mean does it really worth it for this relationship?

I’m just disappointed.
R4yMoNd
post May 11 2018, 09:39 PM

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QUOTE(Zackwong6167 @ May 11 2018, 09:32 PM)
I endure her because I love her. I wouldn’t say I’m ugly but of all the girlfriends I had I never love this girl as much as the others.

But today was pretty miserable, she back in hometown and I minding my own business at my own home.

My friend DM me on my insta and I replied him while I was driving ( red traffic light but u know tongue.gif)

And what I forgotten was I didn’t reply her on whatapp 20 minutes ago after she sent. And she got furious and claiming I always ignored her and never put her as first priority when I just overseen her message because the notification is gone on my phone(I never open whatapp After she reply). And well we have a huge argurment.

I wouldn’t cause such a big argurment.. I mean does it really worth it for this relationship?

I’m just disappointed.
*
In the adult world she should behave like an adult. Put positive thinking first and not easily burst anger towards someone you love.
If she mature enough she will think that you might not be able to reply, and if she really concern she will ask or perhaps give you a call to make sure you are okay.

IMHO she is like a ticking bomb and hard to pleasure. perhaps you should discuss it again with her.
TSZackwong6167
post May 11 2018, 09:48 PM

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QUOTE(R4yMoNd @ May 11 2018, 09:39 PM)
In the adult world she should behave like an adult. Put positive thinking first and not easily burst anger towards someone you love.
If she mature enough she will think that you might not be able to reply, and if she really concern she will ask or perhaps give you a call to make sure you are okay.

IMHO she is like a ticking bomb and hard to pleasure. perhaps you should discuss it again with her.
*
Sadly she wanted to end it with me. Because he say she tired of being angry at me. She’s unhappy more than she’s being happy. She mentioned these past few weeks she was compromising me but she was actually angry while I’m just being like myself.

I’m just sad that I’m the only one who felt happy more than unhappy.
R4yMoNd
post May 11 2018, 09:59 PM

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QUOTE(Zackwong6167 @ May 11 2018, 09:48 PM)
Sadly she wanted to end it with me. Because he say she tired of being angry at me. She’s unhappy more than she’s being happy. She mentioned these past few weeks she was compromising me but she was actually angry while I’m just being like myself.

I’m just sad that I’m the only one who felt happy more than unhappy.
*
Bro.. i highly suggest you to move on and find the real happiness.
As human someday we will feel tired and if you feel you cant find a way to solve this for good, It's always better to back off and open the window for someone else better.
The more you force it the worst the impact gonna be. Don't let yourself split when you already fall into a marriage. and things become much more complicated
TurnDownForWhat
post May 14 2018, 03:17 PM

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are you gf from a broken family? if yes, usually mentally problem abit
lamusiqa
post May 14 2018, 03:23 PM

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Do not think you can put up with a hothead person if you're not a hothead yourself. This will wear you out over time and you will resent the person all too late.

You sound like a decent guy. Find someone who can love and appreciate you for who you really are. People who can yell at you in public is not marriage material.

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