Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

4 Pages < 1 2 3 4 >Bottom

Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+

 Suicidal Friend, Please give advice what to do

views
     
TSBlueTicket
post Mar 8 2018, 10:36 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
74 posts

Joined: Jan 2012
QUOTE(Chaud @ Mar 7 2018, 02:41 PM)
if i were you, i will just ignore her and if she threaten to suicide, i will tell her to go ahead. it's her loss for dying anyway biggrin.gif
*
I think i will feel bad if she really go suicide.
TSBlueTicket
post Mar 8 2018, 10:38 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
74 posts

Joined: Jan 2012
QUOTE(miyakochan89 @ Mar 7 2018, 02:37 PM)
Wah, i think everyone is asking you to just leave.

Honestly, I also agree with most people here, she seems like an attention whore, but there's also another forumer who points out that she is emotionally dependent on you.

I wanted to tell you to leave too but in the back of mind, I fear that what if she really committed suicide after you left, that would be very difficult on your conscience later on.

So, firstly I think you should talk to her other friends, see if she behaves only like this wit you, or she is as depressed and psycho with her friends.

Reason being that if she only acts like this with you, then perhaps she just wants to manipulate you. And she is fine and normal with others. In which case, you could confront her and give her a piece of your mind and ultimatum.

Secondly, if she doesn't have friends or anyone close and you cannot find anymore information about her behaviour towards the others, confront her and tell her you are going to bring/accompany her to see therapist/psychology, otherwise this friendship and your kindness are over. And see how she reacts. Suggesting her to see therapist/psychology, will make her feel like you abandon her. But by telling her that you are willing to go with her instead, she might feel like you are supporting her. See the difference it makes?

Ultimately, you have to confront her, and gives her an ultimatum, and see how she reacts. Don't be cruel though, we never know when she goes psycho and proves to you that she could take her life.
*
But will that make her feel more attached to me?

To be honest, i dont feel like meeting her anymore....
TSBlueTicket
post Mar 8 2018, 10:40 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
74 posts

Joined: Jan 2012
QUOTE(sapphist @ Mar 7 2018, 12:56 PM)
Do u know her family? If you do, tell a family member whenever she talks about suicide.

If she is for real, the best person to help will be her family, if she is not for real, she will be angry that u contacted her family and hopefully leave you alone after this.
*
No, I do not know her family members and she seem not to be able to get along with everyone. Sometimes, she even complaint to me about her sister for being inconsiderate like how she complaint about her colleagues/friends/boss.
pufferfish
post Mar 8 2018, 10:43 AM

Casual
***
Junior Member
430 posts

Joined: Oct 2005


QUOTE(BlueTicket @ Mar 7 2018, 11:06 AM)
seriously, i dun really dare to be close to her.

as one of the forumer said here, a bit like psycho. I really feel that way when she sent me gory pictures.
*
dont stick your dick in crazy,just saying
acnura
post Mar 8 2018, 11:25 AM

New Member
*
Newbie
0 posts

Joined: Mar 2017
As far yang i tau suicidal person tak cakap out loud yang he/she want to suicide.
pandera999
post Mar 8 2018, 02:56 PM

모든 것​에는 정해진 때​가 있으니
*******
Senior Member
6,195 posts

Joined: Sep 2010
From: Busan, Kr | Kuching, Swk



QUOTE(BlueTicket @ Mar 8 2018, 10:34 AM)
I'm not sure but she said she is.

However, she always complain no mood to work and see his colleagues and boss. Does workaholic act that way?
*
no.. workaholic doesnt think in that way.. they just want to settle their work..
PrincipaliteY
post Mar 8 2018, 05:52 PM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
121 posts

Joined: Oct 2011
hi TS, it's good u lend an ear when it started but obviously, u r in no position to help her. i have met 1 recently with different but almost similiar problem.
psychologically i m no expert but i think everyone grow up in a different environment and our upbringing affected our way we view this world.
ur friend is unable to see beyond her limited world and do not want to move beyond her comfort zone. she need the will to move beyond and professional help.
if u could, maybe refer or introduce her to ppl who can help her. otherwise, if u think u did enough, u can console urself that she is not ur responsibility.
Ketchum
post Mar 9 2018, 09:41 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
239 posts

Joined: Nov 2012
From: Penang


QUOTE(BlueTicket @ Mar 8 2018, 10:34 AM)
I'm not sure but she said she is.

However, she always complain no mood to work and see his colleagues and boss. Does workaholic act that way?
*
Wow, I also face same suicidal friend. Imagine she called you up at 1am when you slept. She talk, talk about her problems. Everything all about her only. While I had a meeting at 8am on same day and she only care to keep complain about her things. But seeing her things like changing many jobs, job worked for 1 or 3 months, you can sense instability.

Last she tried to add me on Facebook, being wiser I avoided.
tomato people
post Mar 9 2018, 09:46 AM

Tomato fan
******
Senior Member
1,612 posts

Joined: Jul 2016
From: tomato land


She trusted TS very much...just lend an ear to her sometimes...and dont think too much
Ketchum
post Mar 9 2018, 09:50 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
239 posts

Joined: Nov 2012
From: Penang


QUOTE(BlueTicket @ Mar 7 2018, 12:14 PM)
yes, true. You basically sum up everything. Endless cycle.

Sorry to say this, I may sound heartless but after hearing so many stories from her, i do think some of the problems are caused by herself.

Overthink is the major cause, some may not as bad as she thinks yet she already think it that way. For example, she thinks her colleagues/bosses dislike her but from my pov, it seems normal jer and then she act rudely to them like as an act of counter. So when that happens, of course your bosses/colleagues will react the same next time.
*
We become good listener is good for her. But then she keep talk about her things. They repeat talk their things.

QUOTE(nebula87 @ Mar 7 2018, 12:23 PM)
Well bro, she is definitely a psycho who also a attention seeker.

You will be having hard times avoiding her, but do not reveal where you live and who are your family members.

Try to ignore her msgs or replies with "ok".
*
Wei, she crazy to come my house many times also dry.gif
TSBlueTicket
post Mar 9 2018, 10:21 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
74 posts

Joined: Jan 2012
QUOTE(Ketchum @ Mar 9 2018, 09:41 AM)
Wow, I also face same suicidal friend. Imagine she called you up at 1am when you slept. She talk, talk about her problems. Everything all about her only. While I had a meeting at 8am on same day and she only care to keep complain about her things. But seeing her things like changing many jobs, job worked for 1 or 3 months, you can sense instability.

Last she tried to add me on Facebook, being wiser I avoided.
*
LOL, she did text me early in the morning like 3am!

As for calls, I never answered her calls and she used new contact number to call me once. I no longer answer calls without names since then.
TSBlueTicket
post Mar 9 2018, 10:26 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
74 posts

Joined: Jan 2012
QUOTE(Ketchum @ Mar 9 2018, 09:50 AM)
We become good listener is good for her. But then she keep talk about her things. They repeat talk their things.
Wei, she crazy to come my house many times also dry.gif
*
Yes, and she keeps assuming that everyone's life is better than hers when we all know it's certainly not true.

I did comfort her once by telling her that we all actually have problems so cheer up, you are not alone and God didn't treat you unfairly. Then she got angry and said I have no right to say that to her because her problems are bigger and if want to compare, please compare apple with apple.

So tat left me speechless, simply bcoz our problems aren't exactly the same problem, I've no right to tell her to be more positive and what not. So fine, i just listened to her stories but just like u said, she basically repeat the same things!

Very often sending text like, I'm very tired, im very sad, im very down, i cant go on and etc.
jolyen
post Mar 9 2018, 10:37 AM

New Member
*
Newbie
1 posts

Joined: Jan 2010
TS, you mentioned she got angry with some of your opinions. What kind of opinions? Very general kind? Have you been brutally honest with her? i.e. Telling her that most of the problems are in her head and high chance the reason why her colleagues/friends/sister are claimed to be treating her unfair is due to her behavior etc..

It seems you are on the fence whether you wanna help her or not. So first you'll have to decide whether you wanna continue or stop.

If continue - tell her firmly that you can't help because her problems have been dragging for 6 months with no improvement. Its affecting not only her, but you as well. If she sincerely wants your help as you mentioned, you'll have to insist that you will go along with her to seek professional help. If she refuses, that's when you say you will stop helping because she is just attention seeking. From my experience, people with REAL depression will not reject professional help when they TRULY seek help.

But before stopping, you'll have to tell her that all texts will be ignored etc. and TS yourself don't soft heart go reply her la. Cause it will never end.

My 2 cents.
TSBlueTicket
post Mar 9 2018, 11:03 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
74 posts

Joined: Jan 2012
QUOTE(jolyen @ Mar 9 2018, 10:37 AM)
TS, you mentioned she got angry with some of your opinions. What kind of opinions? Very general kind? Have you been brutally honest with her? i.e. Telling her that most of the problems are in her head and high chance the reason why her colleagues/friends/sister are claimed to be treating her unfair is due to her behavior etc..

It seems you are on the fence whether you wanna help her or not. So first you'll have to decide whether you wanna continue or stop.

If continue - tell her firmly that you can't help because her problems have been dragging for 6 months with no improvement. Its affecting not only her, but you as well. If she sincerely wants your help as you mentioned, you'll have to insist that you will go along with her to seek professional help. If she refuses, that's when you say you will stop helping because she is just attention seeking. From my experience, people with REAL depression will not reject professional help when they TRULY seek help.

But before stopping, you'll have to tell her that all texts will be ignored etc. and TS yourself don't soft heart go reply her la. Cause it will never end.

My 2 cents.
*
Yes, i did use different kind of way.

In the beginning, of course i use those kind of generic words like:
- aiyah, this world is like that. Bosses are likdat anyway, there's no need to bother what the boss say or your colleague do to you.

at that time, i still not very close to her. So when i listen more, although not same story but same issue with more details each time, i also slowly understand more that she got problem also. I also start telling her actually you shouldn't have done this and that. Then she got angry and say i dont understand her and nobody understand her.

After tat, she would apologise to me but then it's the same old sh*t again the next time. The thing is, it's no ppl refuse to listen to her but she keeps repeating the same until ppl also tired of her stories. So when i tell her why her friends distant themselves from her because of her attitudes, she started to say i didnt expect you to think like this also and bla bla bla.

Yes, i think i said before dun look for me if there's nothing urgent. I dun mind to comfort you but at least please some genuine cases and not oh my god, im so sad, the bus left. oh no, the world treated me unfairly because my colleague din ajak me go to lunch.

IDK, but i'm now more on the side dunwan to help and if there's a proffessional can help her, i more than willing to let go my hand. Since she refuse to seek professional help, i also worry to let go of my hand completely just in case she really go suicide.

To be honest, i think being sad has become her habit. Even a tiny little thing also can trigger her to be sad and then need to complain it to someone.

This post has been edited by BlueTicket: Mar 9 2018, 11:09 AM
Twins10
post Mar 9 2018, 01:43 PM

Enthusiast
*****
Junior Member
913 posts

Joined: Aug 2015
Is she the one who tried to burn her office?
TSBlueTicket
post Mar 9 2018, 02:22 PM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
74 posts

Joined: Jan 2012
QUOTE(Twins10 @ Mar 9 2018, 01:43 PM)
Is she the one who tried to burn her office?
*
confused.gif Not sure who try to burn her office recently but she din tell me she want to burn her office. so...i guess no
Twins10
post Mar 10 2018, 05:17 AM

Enthusiast
*****
Junior Member
913 posts

Joined: Aug 2015
That girl who drove into her office died?
Erza Scarlet
post Mar 10 2018, 05:32 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
201 posts

Joined: Jul 2008
Since you said shes annoying, best way is to just to let her commit suicide. This is what she wanted right?
bengang14
post Mar 10 2018, 08:01 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
209 posts

Joined: Oct 2014
i have a cousin that is like that...thinks the world revolve around her.

you should try to detach from her. perhaps talk to her mom or siblings.

after that its non of your business
crumpetss
post Mar 10 2018, 01:33 PM

dummie
****
Senior Member
523 posts

Joined: Aug 2017
From: some place

honestly more like seeking attention, if she is really depressed she would ignore instead of speak up

4 Pages < 1 2 3 4 >Top
 

Change to:
| Lo-Fi Version
0.0162sec    0.49    5 queries    GZIP Disabled
Time is now: 28th March 2024 - 06:55 PM