I have been dating this WeChat gal for about 1month and we have already started to do couple stuffs like hold hands, hugging and cuddling but for some reason she still see me as a close friend.

Some background about this gal, she is 2 years younger than me and she just broke up last 4 months ago and I can see she hasn't really moved on yet.

So far I have dated her 4 times:

First date:

I went to her office area for dinner. Dinner on me.

Second date:

Due to her tight work schedule (even on weekend)we went out for 3 hours windows shopping and dinner. I held her waist and she didn't reject my advance but in return she held my arm as well. We ended the date with a goodbye hug. Dinner on her and she insisted to pay the bill instead of split the bill.

Third date:

Same with first date I went to her office area for dinner + dessert. I can sensed something not right already and during the dinner she shared all her ex-es stories and became very emotional and cried. It was quite an emotional night to be honest...and I consoled her and and bought her some desserts. Dinner + dessert on me.

Fourth date(Mostly on me except coffee on her):

This is a half day date consists of lunch, CNY clothes shopping, coffee, movie and dinner. By the way, the best date we have because we shop CNY clothes together n took wefies in fitting room, cuddle, hold hands and hug on couple seat during movie and she wasn't that emotional compare to third date. I ended the date with a kiss on her cheek but during the ending part she was quite emotional. And I reached home time, she texted me and asked why I treated her so good even though she's not my gf. She said during the movie she hugged n lean on me but the feeling wasn't there and keep apologized to me because she said I'm too good and she didn't want to hurt me or cheat on my feeling. I told her I'm okay and relationship starts as friend and takes time develop. Then, we went back to usual texting n flirting in WeChat.


Personally, I think she's still in recovery mode and not ready for a new relationship yet or this is so called friendzone?

Should I continue pursue her or slow down or move on?

Serious need advise here.

Update 31/01/18:

This morning we chat as usual and in the middle of conversation she offers a free facial treatment to me foc and I teased her by saying that later I fall deeply on her then how? Then, she said something like she won't ask for more and if she can just being a place slightly below my gf it's already too great for her. She said she feel very comfortable with me as a close friend and can share alot of things that she never to anyone else before not even her exes. Then, I asked her if she only see me as a close friend and she replies for now yes because we only knew each other for not too long. Then I agreed that we only knew each other for about 1 month and she responded by saying Happy Monthniversary.

So, what we can derive from this new development? Is she hinting me to confess and make it official or this is another situationship agenda? I never confess to her tho atleast not thru words.

Any advise sifus?


Update 02/02/18:

CNY is coming and she says something like if she manages to come back from her hometown (Perak) on time, then she will accompany me to visit my relatives/friends houses...I was quite surprised and never expected this from her though.

Is this a good hint or just another grey hint?

Update 10/02/18:
Fifth date (Her birthday dinner + birthday gift)

Last night, I just celebrated her birthday together with her. We ate Italian food and she loves the food there very much and I picked this restaurant based on foursquare rating. We finish the dinner with pancakes dessert with candle and happy birthday message on it. She was delightful and happy throughout the dinner. For some reason, she didn't initiate physical contact like hold hand or hug (mainly because she said scare later her colleagues see us because we date nearby her office area) but I initiated physical contact like holding her waist as usual.

Then, we proceed to watch movie I already booked it and initially she wanted to redeem her birthday free movie pass but I decided to book early to avoid no seats. I booked couple seats and during the movie, there wasn't any much physical contact and she was wearing a scarf to warm herself. At some point, she was abit sleepy and I offer my chest to lean on and she leaned on for about 5 minutes before back to her seat and guess what I can see her holding her tears (same behavior on fourth date). At the end of the movie, she was getting motion sickness which I was quite surprise and she told me she can't watch movie with frequent fast changing camera views...guess I picked the wrong movie. Then, we sat somewhere nearby cinema and let her chill for a while before going back. During this time, we chat abit mostly on her work stress and then I surprised her with the birthday gift. She was quite happy with the necklace and we went back to carpark. I hugged her inside lift and greet her happy birthday again and she keep saying thank you. She fetched me to my car because I park outside the mall and inside the car I asked her what is her plan for tomorrow and she said her ex is going to celebrate her birthday with her tomorrow night. At first I wasn't care about it but deep down me still questioning myself am I a spare tire and I hate that feeling! I ended the night with a kiss on her forehead and bid goodbye. We texted a while when reached home and I told her I wanted to see her smile from the bottom of her heart and learn to let go and she replied back by saying she still miss her ex and she feel sorry about her ex which make me pretty much speechless.

Next morning, before she went for dinner with her ex she shared her sexy attire selfies wearing the necklace I gave to her. During the dinner, she still can text me saying how full she was and told me the food was super nice there. I didn't know what was her intention but I was abit disappointed from the way she treated me this way and I know I shouldn't even feel this way because we aren't even official yet. At this point, I keep questioning myself and I start to find her flaws and keep convincing myself she might not be the one or we are not compatible. I have plan to send her flowers in this coming Valentine's day but at my current state, I don't think I will do it and really want to slow down.

Abit confused and disappointed now

Final update:
After few deep thoughts and consideration, I sent her a bouquet of 6 roses to her office yesterday(Valentine's eve). At first, she didn't know it was from me and she told me she received a bouquet of flower from someone. I just played along and told her to read what is in the message card. She said she will read it after back home and shower. Then, I text her the exact message in the message card and she was surprised and keep thank me for being so sweet and she feel so touching and almost cry because this is her first time to receive bouquet of flower. Then, she told me she was upset this few days because of her ex keep postponing his lunch treat and the roses cheer her up to the max. Then, I asked her this question like "I can see this person able to affect you emotionally and do you still want to go back with him?". She asked whether she can answer this question tomorrow and went to bed.

The next morning, she greets me Happy Valentine's day and wish me able to find a lovely, caring, knowledgeable and capable partner. Then, without hesitate I replied back by saying I already found one and I asked her if she can be my valentine for today and onwards. After few pauses and reluctance, she said not yet and doesn't feel like follow by tonnes of sorry from her. I told her it's okay and I accepted her feeling and don't feel sorry about it because in relationship, there is no right or wrong;only true or false. With that being said, I will move on now.

I would like to thank you guys for your valuable,constructive and destructive inputs!

Definitely a new achievement unlocked here. Being rejected in Valentine's day

Happy Valentine's Day folks!

This post has been edited by SomaCruz89: Feb 14 2018, 10:17 AM

I think you better slow down.

Yes, she is recovering but i bet her mind still with her ex.
Just this moment, you are there with her, and she maybe make you as a dummy to her ex.

You can treat her good, but don't rush..

continue to pursue. She hasn't rejected you yet and she still talks to you. Play it cool yo. She seems like still moving on so you patient a bit la. If it's physical then defi not friendzone.

did she know is a date?

Yes she knew

still can date her, just slow down a bit

Whatever you do...

Do not confess...

Just let body language do the talking

If she drone on about being too good for her etc... ignore and continue whatever u doing... unless she firmly rejects then you got your answer and amicably move on.

As for now she didn't really reject me clearly or firmly but she felt bad that she didn't reciprocate the same feeling of mine.

my situation exactly like you. I think i already in situationship, i seek opinion and after some googling. yeah, situationship.
Bout the hold2 stuff i also cant brain like sometimes feel like couple, sometimes treat me like stranger. To be honest, situationship is worse than friendzone

um..... it doesnt matter really, you just wanna get her in bed right?

Danger mode. Seems to me u forgotten your worth. Male DONT CHASE instead female DO THE CHASING. Once u start to be desperate your alpha male goes to ZERO. That is when the girl sees u like 'puppy love'. The trick is STOP CHASING AND STOP TEXTING. Then u see the magic come to u.

The problem is she is the one always initiate the text first though

The problem is she is the one always initiate the text first though

If that so then text like 10 mins gap in between dont reply to fast. Always ask when is the next meet then stop texting. Try to text less and video call more. From there u will know whether she is initiated by u or not. Maybe u can test her by saying 'other girl also find me' then see what is her reaction. Drag too long buang masa buang duit.

Nope, to be honest she has wife material characteristic and she is a family-oriented lady which is quite rare. So far, she's the only girl that willing and insist to pay the bills...my other previous gals normally expect guys to pay all. So, I see her as a rare gem and don't want to give up so soon but at the same time don't want to drag too much though...quite dilemma

This post has been edited by SomaCruz89: Jan 30 2018, 04:31 PM

I quite agree on this point because she even told me that my voice and pattern similar with her previous ex....

How slow is slow? Her birthday coming soon in about 2 weeks time. I plan to give her a birthday present.

Yes, to avoid being a lifebuoy to her. let her recover fully only you proceed to next stage. now just be normal friend to her enough already.

can give, just don't over do it

Yes i know the feeling bro. It feels so close and yet so far.