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 Guy tries to potong jalan

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post Jan 7 2018, 09:50 PM

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Trust is the most crucial thing in a relationship. But having her tell you that she'd accept him if you weren't there, how'd you trust her liao?. Dump her before she dumps you.

Speaking from experience, I've been out from a 5-year LDR and I feel like I've missed a lot of opportunities around me. Find an amoi closer to you la bro. LDR is time and money consuming. Not worth it what you get back from it. Trust me I've been there.
LifePasserby
post Jan 8 2018, 04:00 PM

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I had the same LDR experience with you, just some slight difference in details that are not really important.

Anyway, from my experience, I travelled there and talked with her about it, even confronted the person. I convinced her to stay because she wanted to break up due to fell in love with that person and she felt that she doesn't love me anymore.

From what I learnt from this, never convince or beg anyone to stay in your life. Relationship works both way, it takes two person to make the relationship whole.

If it is one sided, eventually it will break off someday, don't even bother trying to fix it.

What you should tell yourself is, you are yourself, did your best, and don't blame yourself for whatever the outcome in the end. LDR is always difficult and never easy.

It is up to her to decide whether you or him, and IF she chooses you, make sure to call her keep her boundaries with him or get rid of him. IF she chooses him, give yourself a period of time to be sad and broken, but always remember not to do stupid things (because I did) and stand back up as you still have family and friends with you.
TSsuperng888
post Jan 9 2018, 08:02 AM

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QUOTE(genjo @ Jan 6 2018, 11:33 AM)
If you are studying you need to put priority to your study. Your future is important and you can find another girl.

If you think she is important than your future, then by all mean, move nearer to her.

However, what i can advise is :

1. Call / text her everyday .
2. Send her gift occasionally.
3. Give her surprise visit.
4. Plan a short vacation.

PS : Don't make it sounds you are desperate. Do not keep thinking about the guy but just do your best for her.
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1. Call / text her everyday.

We FaceTime each other every day, most of the time when we are free and before we sleep at night.

2. Send her gift occasionally.

I do send her gifts to her place occasionally. Food, things she needs and online services.

3. Give her surprise visit.

Visit her quite often but I cannot do it too often because the flight tickets are really expensive.

4. Plan a short vacation.

I did but it's never just the both of us. There's always her friends around us. Her argument is that she likes it more when friends are around. The more the merrier. She doesn't want to be the typical couple who keep to themselves only.
TSsuperng888
post Jan 9 2018, 08:05 AM

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QUOTE(donfutsal @ Jan 6 2018, 04:48 PM)
keyword : I didn’t exist she would take him in  rclxms.gif  rclxms.gif  rclxms.gif 

find new gf  rclxm9.gif  rclxm9.gif  rclxm9.gif
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Haha she said if you love someone you should be ready to let them go. If she weren't here in this world she said that she would be happy if I could find another girl and move on with life. Love should be that way according to her.
TSsuperng888
post Jan 9 2018, 08:07 AM

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QUOTE(TAN WENG @ Jan 7 2018, 12:37 PM)
this happen in most tvb drama series
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my life damn drama right? haha
donfutsal
post Jan 9 2018, 08:52 AM

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QUOTE(superng888 @ Jan 9 2018, 08:05 AM)
Haha she said if you love someone you should be ready to let them go. If she weren't here in this world she said that she would be happy if I could find another girl and move on with life. Love should be that way according to her.
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brader let her go

& just become friend's

den after few year's past

wen she c your fb or & any other social network she will feel "dam i miss the boat "

rclxm9.gif rclxm9.gif rclxm9.gif
Amanda85
post Jan 9 2018, 09:38 AM

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sounds like your GF is wavering, her commitment to you isn't that strong if she is responding to those texts.

no point trying to salvage something that is deteriorating. You both deserve to be happy and if isn't with each other, then so be it. just wish her the best.
mamao
post Jan 9 2018, 02:30 PM

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just go away. she doesn't deserve you...she passed already the borderline
Blofeld
post Jan 9 2018, 02:39 PM

Look at all my stars!!
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I saw so many immature posts in here

Giving advice like fighting the guy as if u own the girl like a property. Or just like behaving like an animal fighting over a female in heat.

Remember that a relationship works when there is mutual liking. Simple as that. No need to show your ego, your bravery etc.

If u see it's not worth it to continue, just stop it.

Most importantly, u're still studying. Concentrate on your studies. There are so many fishes out there.

briantwj
post Jan 9 2018, 08:54 PM

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Hi bro, sit down and think for a while, what is the most important thing in this world to u. Eventually, u'll realize, ur happiness is the most important thing in the world.

The way that ur gf said those words. It's obvious she did not care about ur feeling, and it sounds like she is not giving u the secure feel. This is LDR, if either side can't give each other security, u should really sit down and have deep thoughts. Is it worth it to continue in this relationship. When she can't give u the security that u need. Plus, I don't think she is mature enough for u.

If she is mature, she would have dealt with the situation properly. It now seems like she is also giving chance to her friend.

Sorry to say, u have to leave her if she makes u feel insecure.
anti-informatic
post Jan 10 2018, 11:31 AM

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The other guy is one problem, but I'm more concern on what's ur gf actually thinking, which is missing from ur thread and I hope u really know it well.

1) He confess but she didn't reject. Is she afraid to lose the friendship? Considering spare tire? Or trying to compare between u and him?

2) When u and gf had a fight and the guy advice ur gf to break up with u, what she think about what the guy said? She agree that he has a point? Considering? or what?

3) When the guy texted her all kind of sweet messages, what's her respond? Did she respond the same way? Reply normally as friend? Or ignore him?

It's important is to know how she react then only we know what to say. More importantly, is she aware that this spark more than jealousy but a red flag to both of ur relationship? If she don't see the red flag, u need to raise it and tell her what u think. Only clear communication can make u both work things out. Then from there, only see how she deal with this with u.

It's quite obvious ur gf is not dealing with this in a mature way to allow some guy into her relationship. Unless she purposely want someone in which I don't know, it's not definite but just saying. You gotta work things out with her if you truly value this relationship which I think u are, otherwise u won't open this thread
jeffrey2020
post Jan 10 2018, 03:24 PM

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Brader kasi makan sama itu awek la .. Then you say bye bye to her. You are still doing diploma or degree ? Lots of hot chick out there waiting for you, don waste your time on the chick who tells you this SHTI : " Recently, she told me that he confessed to her. She didn’t rejected him but said maybe if she was single and that I didn’t exist she would take him in. "
boonheng87
post Jan 10 2018, 04:32 PM

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I am in the principle of 'there's no such thing as wrong timing, it's just the wrong person'... LDR is tough, only if its one-sided and another party is still unsure about their future partner... especially when u both are still studying, probably the mentality isn't mature for real love relationship hence these reaction... don't focus much on other half, focus on building yourself and then choose what values you want from the other half; your life 30 years down the road will be much meaningful.. best wishes..
metaled
post Jan 10 2018, 06:08 PM

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Man the fucuk up. You dont take this sort of crap behavior from your partner.

She wants this guy already. Its over bro, sorry to say this. She is a goner. You wont be able to pull her back, when a girl is gone she is gone.

Like some of the guys here said, focus on building your health, knowledge, wealth.

When you graduate into the "reality of life", money matters more then anything else. And there are still tonne of women out there.

Now is not the end of the world for you.
TSsuperng888
post Apr 21 2018, 11:32 AM

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Update: I have broken up with her.
lesboman
post Apr 21 2018, 10:47 PM

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QUOTE(superng888 @ Apr 21 2018, 11:32 AM)
Update: I have broken up with her.
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Damn that sucks but it was inevitable i guess, long distance almost never works.
ghuzzy
post Apr 21 2018, 10:50 PM

miaw miaw miaw^^
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QUOTE(superng888 @ Apr 21 2018, 11:32 AM)
Update: I have broken up with her.
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thx for updating
gud luck in ur hunts icon_rolleyes.gif
party
post Apr 24 2018, 01:42 AM

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QUOTE(superng888 @ Apr 21 2018, 11:32 AM)
Update: I have broken up with her.
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So did she get together with ur fren before the break up or after?
differ
post Apr 24 2018, 09:15 AM

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QUOTE(superng888 @ Jan 6 2018, 10:26 AM)
I am currently in a long distance relationship. We are currently studying. Ever since we separated to different universities at different states, I felt like she has been too close to my friend who went to the same university as her. She told me that she has been seeing him only as a brother. Recently, she told me that he confessed to her. She didn’t rejected him but said maybe if she was single and that I didn’t exist she would take him in. I saw some of his text with her and whenever she told him about us fighting, he adviced her to break up with me with the reason being that “ Both side don’t have to suffer for long.” Not only that, he has been texting her stuff like “your hair smells amazing, you’re wearing make-up today and I know because I touched your face, i carried you and i can carry you again, sometimes you are always on my mind”. He was close to me before we separated to different universities... I didn’t expect all these things to happen because I trusted them. I don’t know what to do, please advice.
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Focus on your studies first.

If she is so easily swayed in university, can you imagine next time when she is out in the working world where she will meeting new people every day?
TSsuperng888
post Apr 24 2018, 09:51 AM

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QUOTE(party @ Apr 24 2018, 02:42 AM)
So did she get together with ur fren before the break up or after?
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I heard they got closer but I stopped following up. Decided that I should just move on and focus on studies.

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