Do you guys think it is good idea or not to maintain as friends in good terms after the breakup?

I used to think it is no point because you don't want to be reminded about the bitterness of the relationship. However, maintaining friendship in some way feels like you can still talk to this person who used to know you very well. Including starting arguments of the past. Or maybe just keep a distance and not chat (whatsapp) so much after the breakup? And what if both party still love each other but still have to breakup due to irreconcilable issues?

It depends on the nature of the breakup; whether it is a bitter split or a mutual split.
Obviously it will be easier to maintain a friendship if it is a mutual break up.
However there is no point being bitter over a break up, no matter how it happened.
You will only be hurting yourself by harboring hatred and anger towards your exes. All your hatred and anger will have no effect on them if they have already embarked on another relationship. You will just be piling all the misery on yourself.
Sure, it hurts like hell when the break up has just occurred but over time, if your heart is big enough you will learn to forgive and forget.
For me, I would like to wish all my exes well no matter how we broke up as I believe karma will catch up with them one day, be it good or bad depending on what they have done. No need for me to live in anger because of them.

I am married now and I would still like to keep in touch with my exes but the missus won't allow it...so that's that.

What if there are no anger. Even though it's not mutual, there are not resentment so far. Maybe deep down, there are. But both party are mature and handle it without anger and hatred.

Would keep in contact makes it even harder to forget the other person? I feel like if you keep in touch and still chat as friend, you will not break away from the cycle. Hard to move on. Or easier?

if you want to maintain it, i will advise you to maintain it at arms length
keep in touch when necessary e.g. birthdays, gatherings (if there are common friends) etc

i would recommend AGAINST hanging out as good friends 1 on 1 e.g. watch movies, meals etc

different people, different way of handling or getting over
if it was a deep relationship, it would best to have a cut off and move on
you won't like salt being rubbed on a deep scarring wound, right?

just my 2 cents

Your Ex asking to be friends after breaking up is like...
kidnappers asking to "keep in touch" after letting you go

Seriously, why would a separated couple go for a 1 on 1 movie date? That is strange.

Breakup on good terms : can stay in touch
Breakup on bad terms : cut ties and move on

is as you mentioned, after you passed through the bitterness of break up..
until that period of bitterness has pass, better keep away.

This post has been edited by ymc2303: Dec 4 2017, 05:11 PM

e.g. students overseas, limited to small group of friends, etc

Done it. He isn't local and his new gf was oversea..
And yup its dangerous....keep having doubts why we broke up during the time and in the end he confesses hoping to get back to the time before break-up..
SO DON'T DO IT.

What's the point?

Unless you have mutual interests that would be best served by maintaining friendship (i.e. business, children, etc), I don't see any real benefit pretending everything is cool between two people who broke up.

I hv friends who were a couple and own a booming business together. They broke up and the dude ended up marrying someone else soon afterwards. Because of their business together, they have to keep a professional working relationship... and boy... clients, friends, suppliers... EVERYBODY could see how insanely awkward it was for a whole year.

Me personally though... outta sight, outta mind.

hmm, i have know of others who are able to handle that sort of friendship, but for most, it can be hard or confusing to maintain boundaries i guess.

Do not maintain any sort of relationship after a break up unless both of you still in love.

Its funny I come across this thread now. Yesterday an ex from 9 years ago started texting me from overseas and then this morning I turn on my phone there is a text from her saying she wants to sex with me. A culture shock for me now hahaha. (My wife didn't take it too well)

If your ex still have feelings for you then it will be tough to continue communicating with her

This post has been edited by BrendonStar: Dec 4 2017, 10:33 PM

Fuhhhhh.... pretty weird sia

OMG! That is so wrong.

Depends on urself. Can u control urself not to rmb things when u are chatting with her? Have u really moved on?

I've broke up with mai ex for 1 year+ already. Recently I was thinking of taking the decision to change job. Somehow I ask for her opinion. Just to get perspective from someone else. And make sure u guys only stay as friend. No love involve.

If u can control, gud for u.

In this situation, nothing really bad happened. Just keep the bridge open, it works both ways.

If there is love between both parties, why are there irreconcilable issues?
If love is on sided, how to be just friends with another party after breaking up?
If there is no love, why are you even together to begin with?

It almost never works for me. Coming from experience.

If to acquaintance then maybe can

This post has been edited by mwafi1998: Apr 22 2018, 12:01 AM