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Advice Wanted First Date

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TSEDMerfe
post Dec 3 2017, 10:10 PM, updated 7y ago

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Hi guys, I met this girl from a career workshop. That was when we got to know each other, exchanged contacts & so on. For the past couple of weeks, we`ve been engaging in conversations through What`s App. Things have been going good so far between the 2 of us.

Planning to ask her out for a first date, but not now, cos she`s busy w/ work. So, I randomly popped a question on what she thinks of an ideal indoor/outdoor activity (however, I did not say that it was going to be the 2 of us).

She doesn`t reply w/ a list of activity she likes, instead these were her replies:
Outdoor - loves spending her time w/ her family & friends & also depends on what others like to do.
Indoor - okay w/ the malls but confesses she likes walking & seeing people

I`m aware that the first date is always the crucial thing that could either blow or bloom a relationship, which leads to my 2 questions below:

1. Should I reveal my intentions of bringing her out for the date now?

2. Should my first date w/ her be a 'surprise' or would sticking to what she likes turns her off?

Would appreciate all the help I need as I`m rather in a dilemma on this. Thanks guys. smile.gif

This post has been edited by EDMerfe: Dec 4 2017, 10:20 PM
sharmine
post Dec 4 2017, 09:51 AM

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Hm..instead of stressing yourselves on this "first date" notion. Why don't you just casually asked her out for drinks, movies, or a decent meal first?

Since you guys are still communicating with each other, it is totally fine to ask her out. You can even use this opportunity to gauge her interest before you jump the gun.

I think you guys are still in "get-to-know-each-other-stage" so, I think it might still be a bit early to bring her on one day trip or any engaging activities for now. These you can save for later part when you guys are closer and she is comfortable to spend longer time with you.


Good luck biggrin.gif

This post has been edited by sharmine: Dec 4 2017, 09:58 AM
kiasu6
post Dec 4 2017, 10:30 AM

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Agree with sharmine....

dont make it so official... just casual outing will do..

give u and her space to be comfortable first before anything serious.. smile.gif
TSEDMerfe
post Dec 4 2017, 09:24 PM

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QUOTE(sharmine @ Dec 4 2017, 09:51 AM)
Hm..instead of stressing yourselves on this "first date" notion. Why don't you just casually asked her out for drinks, movies, or a decent meal first?

Since you guys are still communicating with each other, it is totally fine to ask her out. You can even use this opportunity to gauge her interest before you jump the gun.

I think you guys are still in "get-to-know-each-other-stage" so, I think it might still be a bit early to bring her on one day trip or any engaging activities for now. These you can save for later part when you guys are closer and she is comfortable to spend longer time with you.
Good luck  biggrin.gif
*
ok...she`s indicated that she`s pretty okay w/ shopping

What activity would u suggest that allows both of us to open up & talk more as we barely bump into/see each other?

When u mentioned abt "gauging her interest", what I`ve done here was asking her indirectly w/out stating my intentions just yet. Could u perhaps explain what were u actually implying by this?

Yup...we just knew each other not long, thanks for pointing "that stage" , would take note of this...thankss! smile.gif

QUOTE(kiasu6 @ Dec 4 2017, 10:30 AM)
Agree with sharmine....

dont make it so official... just casual outing will do..

give u and her space to be comfortable first before anything serious.. smile.gif
*
When u mentioned "official" , does it mean that she expects me to give her like a surprise first outing or likewise? hmm.gif
jovigrunge
post Dec 4 2017, 09:37 PM

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QUOTE(EDMerfe @ Dec 3 2017, 10:10 PM)
Hi guys, I met this girl from a career workshop. That was when we got to know each other, exchanged contacts & so on. For the past couple  of weeks, we`ve been engaging in conversations through What`s App. Things have been going good so far between the 2 of us.

Planning to ask her out for a first date, but not now, cos she`s busy w/ work. So, I randomly popped a question on what she thinks of an ideal indoor/outdoor activity (however, I did not say that it was going to be the 2 of us).

She doesn`t reply w/ a list of activity she likes, instead these were her replies:
Outdoor  -  loves spending her time w/ her family & friends & also depends on what others like to do.
Indoor - okay w/ the malls but confesses she likes walking & seeing people

I`m aware that the first date is always the crucial thing that could either blow or bloom a relationship, which leads to my 2 questions below:

1. Should I reveal my intentions of bringing her out for the date now?

2. Should my first date w/ her be a 'surprise'  or would sticking to what she likes turns her off?

Would appreciate all the help I need as I`m rather in a dilemma on this. Thanks guys.  smile.gif
*
Christmas is around the corner. It would be great if you can start by having a good dinner for chatting.

1. She seems busy and any good event nearby will be the ideal choice.

2. I could think of a good dinner and then some romantic park or lake......

cool2.gif
TSEDMerfe
post Dec 4 2017, 09:47 PM

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QUOTE(jovigrunge @ Dec 4 2017, 09:37 PM)
Christmas is around the corner. It would be great if you can start by having a good dinner for chatting.

1. She seems busy and any good event nearby will be the ideal choice.

2. I could think of a good dinner and then some romantic park or lake......

cool2.gif
*
icon_idea.gif that`s a pretty good suggestion.

should I leave it as a surprise or let her know (take the lead in deciding where to go) ? hmm.gif

Do correct me if I`m getting this wrong, so what u were suggesting is jalan2 at mall , dinner & then lake/park?

Mind suggesting any lakes/parks around Ampang/KL area worth checking out? I`m not too familiar w/ the area.


yoonyin
post Dec 5 2017, 10:42 AM

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QUOTE(EDMerfe @ Dec 4 2017, 09:47 PM)
icon_idea.gif that`s a pretty good suggestion.

should I leave it  as a surprise or let her know (take the lead in deciding where to go) ?  hmm.gif

Do correct me if I`m getting this wrong, so what u were suggesting is jalan2 at mall , dinner & then lake/park?

Mind suggesting any lakes/parks around Ampang/KL area worth checking out? I`m not too familiar w/ the area.
*
For the first date, I will make it short and nice. Walk at the park and lake save it for the next round when your relationship evaluate to the next level.

This what i will do, Christmas is around the corner, Ultimate plan for you! Ask her out this coming weekend or next week if can. Have a dinner and you guys can have a chit chat. Once it done, go for a window shopping in a mall. While doing window shopping, you need to pay attention on what she likes or she interested.

Take note on those little thing and that's your on coming small Christmas gift to her if you manage to find out the thing she interested through out the conversation you engage! This will 100% surprise her! Good if you manage to date her for the 2nd time on Christmas Eve Or Christmas Day, that means she got a special place for you in her heart if she accept your date. If nope, you can pass her the present in a short coffee break catch up!

==Back Up Plan==
If you fail to catch up what her wish list out the window shopping, please pay attention on her fashion accessories, like bracelet, if she wear Pandora, then can buy a Add-on for her. If she do apply perfume, you can buy her Jo Malone - English Pear & Freesia (because this smell good!), etc etc......

This post has been edited by yoonyin: Dec 5 2017, 10:42 AM
chiahau
post Dec 5 2017, 11:47 AM

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Never get someone a perfume unless you know specifically what they want.

And never get a girl a perfume for Jo Malone’s.

It’s so mainstream and common. If you want to get her something, at least get her something special.

As for Pandora charms, don’t even go there. laugh.gif

Don’t plan so far ahead first. Just ask her out for a cuppa coffee. If everything works well, she’d ask you to continue the date. And if it does not work, you both have an excuse to bail instead of being awkward to one another.
kiasu6
post Dec 5 2017, 03:25 PM

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QUOTE(EDMerfe @ Dec 4 2017, 09:24 PM)
ok...she`s indicated that she`s pretty okay w/ shopping

What activity would u suggest that allows both of us to open up & talk more as we barely bump into/see each other?

When u mentioned abt "gauging her interest", what I`ve done here was asking her indirectly w/out stating my intentions just yet. Could u perhaps explain what were u actually implying by this?

Yup...we just knew each other not long, thanks for pointing "that stage" , would take note of this...thankss! smile.gif
When u mentioned "official" , does it mean that she expects me to give her like a surprise first outing or likewise?  hmm.gif
*
i meant "official" by why must ur first outing together be label as "date"? cannot it be a casual outing?
Joeyskullz
post Dec 5 2017, 03:47 PM

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Just go with the flow. First date does not mean need to spend a lot fancy restaurant or fancy gift , even christmas is just around the corner. Coffee date also could be nice or just nice dinner at a good restaurant. After the first date then 2nd date can buy gift for christmas. Come on.. just dont think too much. Just go and get the know her in real life not from social platform. Dont be too afraid to get rejected. You could learn lesson about what's good and the bad. Just my opinion though.
briantwj
post Dec 5 2017, 05:05 PM

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bro, date =/= officially together.

Just ask her out for dinner, chat in real life. This is important, not just on social media. Talk bout stuff, gauge her interest. Get to know more bout her. Then see how it goes.


umadbro??
post Dec 6 2017, 07:52 AM

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i make it simple for you.. just treat her as a NORMAL friend first, do things that normally what you do with ur friends.. makan, watch movies, hang kai..lepak at coffee shop.. if things go smooth after these casual activities.. then only you think further about arranging specific activities that suit her.. if 1st outing u already used ur ULTI what your're left with for future outings?..
ZZR-Pilot
post Dec 6 2017, 10:00 PM

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QUOTE(EDMerfe @ Dec 3 2017, 11:10 PM)

I`m aware that the first date is always the crucial thing that could either blow or bloom a relationship, which leads to my 2 questions below:

1. Should I reveal my intentions of bringing her out for the date now?

2. Should my first date w/ her be a 'surprise'  or would sticking to what she likes turns her off?

Would appreciate all the help I need as I`m rather in a dilemma on this. Thanks guys.  smile.gif
*
Be cool, be casual. Just ask her out.

If you have earned enough of her trust and if she likes you, she'll go along.

If you get all nervous and start blurting out stuff like I HOPE IT'S OK TO BRING YOU OUT ON A DATE, you'll just add more pressure on her and make it very awkward for her.... especially if she's a young woman. Older women in their 30s tend to be more mature and understand it's a date even without your having to explain.

Girls generally warm up to confident men. They can smell inexperienced nervous guys from a mile away... and it's a turn off, especially if you're the one approaching her (less so if it's the opposite)..

mackioes
post Dec 8 2017, 01:16 AM

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lol, young people are so fascinating. good luck bro.
Pete the great
post Dec 8 2017, 02:57 PM

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QUOTE(EDMerfe @ Dec 3 2017, 10:10 PM)
Hi guys, I met this girl from a career workshop. That was when we got to know each other, exchanged contacts & so on. For the past couple  of weeks, we`ve been engaging in conversations through What`s App. Things have been going good so far between the 2 of us.

Planning to ask her out for a first date, but not now, cos she`s busy w/ work. So, I randomly popped a question on what she thinks of an ideal indoor/outdoor activity (however, I did not say that it was going to be the 2 of us).

She doesn`t reply w/ a list of activity she likes, instead these were her replies:
Outdoor  -  loves spending her time w/ her family & friends & also depends on what others like to do.
Indoor - okay w/ the malls but confesses she likes walking & seeing people

I`m aware that the first date is always the crucial thing that could either blow or bloom a relationship, which leads to my 2 questions below:

1. Should I reveal my intentions of bringing her out for the date now?

2. Should my first date w/ her be a 'surprise'  or would sticking to what she likes turns her off?

Would appreciate all the help I need as I`m rather in a dilemma on this. Thanks guys.  smile.gif
*
just ask her out on a drink like starbucks. Chit chat lah.

maybe tell her, you were just around the corner near her house, happen tobe there, was wondering if she is free or not lah.
HuorEarfalas
post Dec 12 2017, 05:42 PM

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QUOTE(EDMerfe @ Dec 3 2017, 11:10 PM)
Hi guys, I met this girl from a career workshop. That was when we got to know each other, exchanged contacts & so on. For the past couple  of weeks, we`ve been engaging in conversations through What`s App. Things have been going good so far between the 2 of us.

Planning to ask her out for a first date, but not now, cos she`s busy w/ work. So, I randomly popped a question on what she thinks of an ideal indoor/outdoor activity (however, I did not say that it was going to be the 2 of us).

She doesn`t reply w/ a list of activity she likes, instead these were her replies:
Outdoor  -  loves spending her time w/ her family & friends & also depends on what others like to do.
Indoor - okay w/ the malls but confesses she likes walking & seeing people

I`m aware that the first date is always the crucial thing that could either blow or bloom a relationship, which leads to my 2 questions below:

1. Should I reveal my intentions of bringing her out for the date now?

2. Should my first date w/ her be a 'surprise'  or would sticking to what she likes turns her off?

Would appreciate all the help I need as I`m rather in a dilemma on this. Thanks guys.  smile.gif
*
I don't like the idea of outdoor activities on the 1st date. Movies are okay but be aware it's hard to converse over 1.5-2h where u need to be silent. A casual dinner never goes wrong.

1. Should I reveal my intentions of bringing her out for the date now?
Nothing guarantees a 100%. Start mastering the confidence and tell her face-to-face, when it's just the two of you, and when she's not distracted by other stuff.

Start with a casual conversation, and then when you feel the moment is right, "I would like to bring you out for dinner. Are you open to it?" and then wait for her to answer (look at her eyes and don't be looking anywhere else).

Once you get a positive response, be sure to set a date and time, and then..

1. Make the effort to pick her up from her place. Ask for her address a day or two before and scout her place.
2. If you're going for a proper restaurant, please please please make a reservation prior


During the date,

1. Be damn sure to bring an umbrella big enough to cover you both in case it rains.
2. Do not wait for her in the car. Be a gentlemen and pick her up from the gate. Open your car door to let her in.
3. Have fun! and Listen to what she says!

(TIPS) It's not uncommon that girls can have her period during a date night. They won't tell you straightaway, but common indications are she will avoid alcohol or cold drinks/desserts.

Good luck!


 

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