Me: 21 yrs old Working + doing part time degree ,she: 27 yrs old, working as a regional marketing for a healthcare product company, always on the go/travelling. Even though her age is 27, but she looks like 22 / 23. We met through online for 2 days, confessed to her on the first meeting. She accepted, guess we have the chemistry. Just the first meeting we already became official.
Her first bf broke up with her because her in law dont accept anyone who is from poor background which my gf is. So i think somehow she got traumatised from here? Eversince that moment, she worked hard now earning 10k+ a month, more than me
Fast forward to 2 days later, i told her something....
My parents is those traditional + hard headed + strict mindset. Always ask me to focus on career as relationship will comes after career. They dont want me to date anyone, only after 25. But i already started dating behind their back, i didnt told them i have gf.
On a video call... (she was eating her lunch while im just in front of a newspaper)
Me: i have something to tell u
Me: we cant always video call at night
Me: my parents actually dont allow me to date, they want me to focus on my career first. If they found out about u, they will kill me.
She: .....tears starting to roll down from her eyes.... (she stop eating, no mood, keep using tissue to wipe off her tears, she was crying in silent, no shout or scream just tears keep rolling down)
She: everytime like this, the family rejects the poor
Me: dont misunderstand, im just saying that i cant video call with u at night because my family might found out. We can still date like normal & video call at the day when Im at office.
She: still crying... silent...sob... sob...
Me: lots of sweet talk (stay together with her, love her & etc)
She: im already 27, i want baby before or by 30. I want to take care of our baby while Im still young and healthy.
Me: (i was speechless and shock because 3 years time im only 24!! I cant afford a baby or anything.)
Me: we can have it after u are 30 and when im older, just give me time to grow old so i can tell my parents easily. At this age, my parents cant accept it.
She: u guys talk very easy, but all cannot do one. When i became old and ugly, how? U dont want me already.
Me: i love u with my heart, even u turn old, i still be continue loving u. And now is 2017, 2020 i will tell my parents about u, 2024 i hope u can stop work and start living together with me
She: nod her head. (Dont know is there any hidden meaning or not)
Me: ok gonna go now. Talk to u later.
Tbh, when she is crying, i feel so hurt to see her cry, i feel like im a jerk for making her cry. But what is she crying for? Not that im asking for a divorce.
Secondly, how to reassure her that i will stick with her? So that she wont worry that i will dump her and wasted her youth after all the 7 years of waiting?
if u cant tell your parents now, and your parent will not accept her, is better to letting her go for now.
wait u 3 years for you to tell your parents where u not sure will your parents will accept her or not
wait another 3 years for u to get married which by that time u are not sure will still love her or not, financially able to get married
above scenario is only happen if after 3 years u still with her, u not fall in love with others during the process