As the title suggest, I have a dad who loves to gamble.
He doesn't gamble everyday but whenever he does, he will go for the whole night and won't come back till the next morning. i.e. He will only come back once he lose all his money. He has a job which earns rm3k per month. My siblings and I are all grown up and are not depending on him. All of us stay in the same house. My mum is a housewife and rely on his financial support. Whenever he lost money, my won't give my mum any money for that month or the next month. So far, there's no sign that he has borrowed from any alongs and I hope he won't go to that extent.
We have tried talking to him. Even his siblings had tried talking to him. There was once, my mum even moved out from our house and stayed with my aunt for some time. But there is nothing that can stop him.
Now, the above might not sound serious to you and you might have heard of even worse story. But his gambling habit is giving me a lot of stress and I feel very sad and disappointed with him. I do not know what else to say to him and I find that even looking at him is painful. N I find that I constantly worry about 2 things, unable to sleep and get it out of my head:
1. I am very worried about my mum. Whenever he go gambling the whole night, my mum would wait up and unable to sleep the whole night. Most of the time, she will cry herself in the room. It's giving her a lot of agony, stress, sadness, disappointment. In short, it's a mental torture to her as well as to me. My mum had depression during her menopause period. I am worried sick about her health. And I hate my dad for doing this to her. Everytime, my dad go gambling, my mum will give him the silent treatment and these usually last for a few months. During these times, it's very stressful to stay at home. But at the same time I do not want to leave my mum at home too much. Therefore, I always feel very stress and sad.
2. While my dad has not borrowed from along, I am worried that he will... in the future. He will probably sell our house for gambling. My dad had already withdrawn all his epf money and according to my mum, he had gambled it all. While we are not considered poor, we are not rich and do not have extra money for him to gamble. He is a quiet person and it's very difficult to talk to him. Whenever we tried talking to him, he will just keep quiet. We ask 10 questions, he will answer 0. Keeping quiet is one of his talent and it's really frustrating.
I guess I have done all I can and I am so tempted to move out. If it's not because of my mum, I would have moved out a long time ago. My siblings were always out and only come home to sleep. They just turn a blind eye to what is happening at home.
I feel so helpless and do not know what else to do. I need some advice and I do not know who I can talk to on this. Please do not tell me to talk to my dad anymore cos I have tried that for many years and it was met with silence from my dad.
Appreciate advice from anyone.....
This post has been edited by bearsfav: Oct 22 2017, 12:23 AM
What to do if you have a gambling dad?, Feeling helpless... advice needed