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This post has been edited by Conroe: Jun 9 2009, 05:51 AM
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  Apr 17 2007, 04:24 AM, updated 17y ago
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#1
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Junior Member
253 posts Joined: Jul 2006 From: dIHaDaPaN KoMpUtEr   
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Apr 17 2007, 04:33 AM
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#2
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Senior Member
1,281 posts Joined: Jan 2003 From: Private 
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have u see her picture b4 ?
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Apr 17 2007, 04:46 AM
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#3
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Senior Member
1,159 posts Joined: Aug 2006 From: Malacca & KL 
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U have to think carefully dude...Family always come 1st...
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Apr 17 2007, 04:51 AM
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#4
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Junior Member
253 posts Joined: Jul 2006 From: dIHaDaPaN KoMpUtEr
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Yes.I have arround 80 pictures of her in my phone.
If you're asking if she's sexy or beatifull  ..........Not sexy and not very beatifull like model or actress but she's cute and nice.I like it.That's not vey important,the only thing is what should i do.I'm in dilema... |
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Apr 17 2007, 07:49 AM
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#5
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Senior Member
2,757 posts Joined: Jan 2007
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Imagine the situation that will happen while 2 of you are together at Kedah, will the relationship be alive over there, can your family nor her family accept it or is it better to give up now?
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Apr 17 2007, 08:27 AM
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#6
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Senior Member
1,631 posts Joined: Dec 2006 From: Where Light Meets Day
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QUOTE(Conroe @ Apr 17 2007, 04:24 AM) I am 22,i met an accident few years back and injured my back and it left me paraplegic,which means no sensation/movement below my hip.I'm living with my family/parents,i'm doing preety good eventhough i can't walk i still earn some monies for my own expenses.Here's the story. To TS...i hope this will help u gain confidence that religion will not be a factor..because i know some couples who faced this sort of circumstances but it worked for the better..the example is similar to yours where the girl who is a muslim whom she married to someone born as a christian.they got married and had two seperate weddings.where they held the wedding in a chapel and as well as the malay traditional way of "nikah" and "bersanding".i would point out that the parents of both families were open minded about this.though he did convert to a muslim but still hold an english name.this couple is happily married and is expecting a child..Few years back when i was chatting,because i've nothing better to do since i'm on wheelchair,i got to know a girl in ICQ,she's 25 now.We was chatting like everyday from the day we know each other and then it goes till sms and calls,later after few months she said she like me and i was like 'wat the...' i thought that's normal and i told her the same but i didn't tell her about my condition.Later i told her about my condition and she accept it without further questions.I told her the full story,how it happened and what's my current condition also till today there's no treatment for such injuries like mine.Fine everything was preety okay and we started to love each other.It passed 3 years and we're still continuing our relationship without meeting each other before.We're on sms/calls/mms/ym till today. There's sceintists who're doing great in medical fields arround the globe and soon maybe 3-5 years there will be a cure or near-to-cure treatment for injuries/condition like mine.That's great!Which means i still have hope to be a normal human/man,walking of course. The problem is my girl is a muslim and i'm christian.We both strong enough on our beleives and faith.I respect her religion and she respect mine too.In this situation,it is hard for us to be together since a non muslim should convert to a muslim religion if they wanted to marry a muslim women/man. I told her that i'm strong with my religion and i don't want to convert,therefore after i think deeply i told her to leave me and it is better for both of us because i can't convert my religion to marry her.She cried and told me that she don't mind if i can't marry her,she's willing to be like this forever (She's great!).It's already few times i talk with her about this matter and she's still with her decision which is, she's willing to continue our relationship without getting married.I love her ver much as how she's loving me so i guess it will be ok someday soon. Few weeks ago she told me that she's willing to come over here,kedah get a job and stay here just because she wanted to meet me everyday and be with me whenever possible but she's not sure when because her parents kinda control type. At this point,i'm feeling very bad because she's willing to sacrifice lotsa things but i feel like i'm selfish and never sacrifice anything for her.I don't know why am i feeling like this,i think it is because she's willing not to marry if i'm not intend to do so and willing to shift to my place, left her family just because she loves me. The only problem is religion.My parents brought me up with christianity and i love and respect my religion very much. I'm not sure if you guys really get what i'm trying to say but i think it's quite understand-able so i just want to ask you guys for opinion,any kinda opinion,suggestion,advise will be appreciated!  there is another couple who were in the same position but in the end it turned out great for over 30 years of marriage.the "He" was a muslim and the "she" was a christian.she did convert but she still has religious beliefs.i'm not saying its bad to think that marriage is impossible because of religion restrictions...perhaps if both sets of parents are open minded with your situation perhaps they may see that your pure love is enough to grant you and your gf their blessings. i am not going round the bush. as there are couples where the spouse did not convert but to have children later..it might be confusing for their children to know what religion are they..if you wish to continue.i am not saying you should sacrifice your own beliefs.but think it this way.love is a wonderful thing.why stop loving..if it can be sorted out in a way then it may planned out correctly. religion did not stop these couples getting married.to be honest..the marriage of these ppl if you wish to know me..please drop me a message..as this is related to my family ties and i do not want to publicly announce it..as i have witness a bond without boundaries nor restrictions This post has been edited by cursed: Apr 17 2007, 08:31 AM |
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Apr 17 2007, 09:08 AM
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#7
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Senior Member
2,833 posts Joined: Jul 2006 From: here
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dun forsake your religion that gives you strength. if she truly loves u, she will accept WHOLE HEARTEDly that it's your religion now that keeps you going strong everyday, alongside your family and other loved ones .
It's not love anymore if she still insist on converting you for the "reason" of "LOVE". |
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Apr 17 2007, 09:30 AM
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#8
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Senior Member
1,056 posts Joined: Apr 2006
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Muslim can not marry the non-muslim which mean that u must convert to muslim when you both decided to marry.
However Religious is not a big issue. The important thing is looking for an agreement from your parent and the ladies' parent. If they are supporting u. I dun see any problem on it. But, please make sure the ladies is not play play. please make very sure of it. |
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Apr 17 2007, 09:51 AM
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#9
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Elite
2,036 posts Joined: Feb 2007 From: KL
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im correct to assume no one's converting anyone here, right? i'm sure she's a nicer girl than alan's cynicism implied.
the way i see this, it's just a religion problem. then again, religion is essentially what you make of it. if there is a god, then god will not let his rule come unjudiciously between happiness of two seemingly non-harmful people. if god's justice makes no sense to us, then he is not god. to be totally honest, i was going to mention other things as well, but it'll be inappropiate. be wary of those with hidden agendas, whoever they might be.anyway, do what you must. |
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Apr 17 2007, 10:00 AM
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Senior Member
1,637 posts Joined: Jan 2003 From: Munich , Bangkok, Barcelona , KualaLumpur
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wait a minute ...
have you met this person in real life before? Make sure you see from other sides, life thru internet can be very deceiving if its true, love bounds by religion is always sucks. Grant yourself power to be with the one that you love |
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Apr 17 2007, 10:01 AM
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Junior Member
167 posts Joined: Mar 2007
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U must b so happy cuz u hav a gf who dun care bout ur condition at all and i think she knw tat someday u'll be cured and she willing to wait for tat moment.
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Apr 17 2007, 11:07 AM
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Junior Member
225 posts Joined: Mar 2006
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IMO, if both of you have the chance get out of this country.
It is this country's law that forbidding you both from being together. Why a non-Muslim must convert after marriage. One simple reason, because the law says so. I dont think there's any obstruction between you two except for the law. Dont you think it will be the best if you moved out from this country ? You can still practice Christianity and she stays as a Muslim. So what's the problem ? Its just like the case of a Buddhist marrying a Christian. |
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Apr 17 2007, 01:45 PM
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Elite
6,112 posts Joined: Sep 2006 From: Earth
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I am happy to hear that the both of you have formed such a strong bond having not ever met. I personally think it is a little too soon to contemplate marriage at this point. Though you have been communicating for the past three years, you've never actually been with one another. Give that a go and see what it's like first. You only really ever know a person once you've met them. If the two of you really hit it off as you have been over the internet/phone, then start thinking about ways to resolve your predicament. Take it a step at a time mate and deal with problems one at a time.
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Apr 17 2007, 02:03 PM
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Junior Member
388 posts Joined: Nov 2006 From: your memory
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tough situation....... yeah it's hard to find another great individaul like her but think what is more important, her or religion/family, try to look future a lil bit, my support rest with your decesion
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Apr 17 2007, 02:09 PM
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Senior Member
1,441 posts Joined: Nov 2006 From: I Do Not Know
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just cause u convert to a muslim. doesnt mean u have to follow it .
I got friends with chinese dads and muslim moms. who eat char siew pau and pray to buddha . it dosent matter wat the religion is . its up to u . when ur kids turn 18. let them choose their own religion. u can always move to singapore and renounce ur islam religion and live as a chrisitan if u really like. |
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Apr 17 2007, 03:20 PM
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Senior Member
1,874 posts Joined: Apr 2007 From: "On a need-to-know basis"
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Sorry to hear about your accident, what level SCI are you? My best fren is also SCI C6/7. He's married recently, met his wife after the accident. I dont mean to sound crude or like an axxhole, but being forward and realistic, unless you're damn rich its not easy to find a girl whos willing to accept your condition esp in m'sia. Sorry again if I offend any girls in here but honestly ask yourself how many willing to accept the life long burden? have to take care of your husband whos in a wheelchair? I mean if it happen after you fall in love is a diffirent story, I've a few friends whom are life-long in wheelchair and thier wife are equally happy. But when you're free person and suddenly I ask you to get involve with a person in a chair is a totally different story. Will your parent accept the situation? most parents wants the best for thier kid...selfish as it may seem but thats the world we live in today.
OK back to your dillema, do you even realized that this COULD be the last girl whom will accept your condition and willing to go thru thick and thin with you? I can see she is really a very kind hearted person...if I'm in your shoes, I'll plunge right in. She is willing to sacrifice so much for you so why cant you give something back? Talk to your parents...tell them what else you gotta lose? You're already rock bottom so, you've nothing to fear...but everything to gain. Just do it.... Pardon me if I sound heartless but being with a few friends whom are SCI, I more or less knows their daily struggle.... |
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Apr 17 2007, 03:30 PM
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All Stars
21,962 posts Joined: Dec 2004 From: KL
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QUOTE(Conroe @ Apr 17 2007, 04:24 AM) I am 22,i met an accident few years back and injured my back and it left me paraplegic,which means no sensation/movement below my hip.I'm living with my family/parents,i'm doing preety good eventhough i can't walk i still earn some monies for my own expenses.Here's the story. Im not God and i cant call u to choose her nor Christianity..Few years back when i was chatting,because i've nothing better to do since i'm on wheelchair,i got to know a girl in ICQ,she's 25 now.We was chatting like everyday from the day we know each other and then it goes till sms and calls,later after few months she said she like me and i was like 'wat the...' i thought that's normal and i told her the same but i didn't tell her about my condition.Later i told her about my condition and she accept it without further questions.I told her the full story,how it happened and what's my current condition also till today there's no treatment for such injuries like mine.Fine everything was preety okay and we started to love each other.It passed 3 years and we're still continuing our relationship without meeting each other before.We're on sms/calls/mms/ym till today. There's sceintists who're doing great in medical fields arround the globe and soon maybe 3-5 years there will be a cure or near-to-cure treatment for injuries/condition like mine.That's great!Which means i still have hope to be a normal human/man,walking of course. The problem is my girl is a muslim and i'm christian.We both strong enough on our beleives and faith.I respect her religion and she respect mine too.In this situation,it is hard for us to be together since a non muslim should convert to a muslim religion if they wanted to marry a muslim women/man. I told her that i'm strong with my religion and i don't want to convert,therefore after i think deeply i told her to leave me and it is better for both of us because i can't convert my religion to marry her.She cried and told me that she don't mind if i can't marry her,she's willing to be like this forever (She's great!).It's already few times i talk with her about this matter and she's still with her decision which is, she's willing to continue our relationship without getting married.I love her ver much as how she's loving me so i guess it will be ok someday soon. Few weeks ago she told me that she's willing to come over here,kedah get a job and stay here just because she wanted to meet me everyday and be with me whenever possible but she's not sure when because her parents kinda control type. At this point,i'm feeling very bad because she's willing to sacrifice lotsa things but i feel like i'm selfish and never sacrifice anything for her.I don't know why am i feeling like this,i think it is because she's willing not to marry if i'm not intend to do so and willing to shift to my place, left her family just because she loves me. The only problem is religion.My parents brought me up with christianity and i love and respect my religion very much. I'm not sure if you guys really get what i'm trying to say but i think it's quite understand-able so i just want to ask you guys for opinion,any kinda opinion,suggestion,advise will be appreciated! Its all up to u.... But.....I suggest u to read the Ten Commandments and u can act by the guidance of that. I think if u go for her, u'd break alot of the laws there... But maybe its His plan that wants u to convert her in Christianity? I DONT KNOW.... Ok....To others that says bullshit to religion, its just because religion isnt the 1st place/priority in your decision/life.... Added on April 17, 2007, 3:32 pm QUOTE(omnimech @ Apr 17 2007, 02:09 PM) just cause u convert to a muslim. doesnt mean u have to follow it . Lolz tats a joke..I got friends with chinese dads and muslim moms. who eat char siew pau and pray to buddha . it dosent matter wat the religion is . its up to u . when ur kids turn 18. let them choose their own religion. u can always move to singapore and renounce ur islam religion and live as a chrisitan if u really like. http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/443335 Read that thread. This post has been edited by WaCKy-Angel: Apr 17 2007, 03:32 PM |
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Apr 17 2007, 03:37 PM
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Senior Member
2,833 posts Joined: Jul 2006 From: here
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QUOTE(moorish @ Apr 17 2007, 04:20 PM) OK back to your dillema, do you even realized that this COULD be the last girl whom will accept your condition and willing to go thru thick and thin with you? I can see she is really a very kind hearted person...if I'm in your shoes, I'll plunge right in. She is willing to sacrifice so much for you so why cant you give something back? Talk to your parents...tell them what else you gotta lose? You're already rock bottom so, you've nothing to fear...but everything to gain. Dun tok bout those bullshit stuff like the first bolded. Since you can say not many able-bodied girls accept ppl like TS, so can we used back what you said to make a deduction that there's a BIG chance the girl is also "using" TS also? Especially with an added fact that both never met each other b4. It's simply "GOD-SENT" huh for someone to fell in love with another while not having to meet each other before.Just do it.... its' religion. dunt play play with it. From how TS said it, his religion is his EVERYTHING also. why she can go ALL the way to concern and accept his everything, and yet didn't practice ACCEPTANCE on his religion (acceptance only. He's NOT EVEN asked her to convert to his religion also). Sometimes things r pretty fishy. If both party keep to his and her religion and be happy about it, then now this is TRUE acceptance. |
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Apr 17 2007, 03:39 PM
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Junior Member
53 posts Joined: Oct 2004
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Right, religion again. we are going no where.
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Apr 17 2007, 03:43 PM
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Elite
6,112 posts Joined: Sep 2006 From: Earth
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Why talk about religion now. Wait for the both of them to actually meet and physically date one another first. Take it from there. They haven't even met yet and everyone's going on about getting married and religion.
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