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Advice Wanted Wat to do A girl start to ignoring you ?

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TSaska123
post Oct 7 2017, 06:46 PM, updated 7y ago

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Few months back i met a very nice girl, we are colleague from diff department
After that we get very close to each other and she will always find me for lunch or talk to me for alot of thing.
I start to have strong feel with her.
But start 1 and half month ago she start to suddenly ignore me.
When i ask her for lunch or dinner, it either reject with super short msg or totally ignore me.
While i text her most of the time she just read and ignore for reply.
I seriously duno wat is happening, and i dun dare to ask her is anything i did is wrong or what makes her hate me.
Even when we saw each other, sometime she pretend didnt saw me or either just a simple smile.
While i try talk to her, the face can see she feel im so annoying.

Start to feel depression because of this things.
I trying to save this situations but i have totally no idea.
I scare i will make her feel annoying so i have start to reduce the gap between the text.
Maybe one week once. but yet nothing change. i still keep feel like she feel that im annoying or wat.

Was trying to ask around. some say is ignore you test. some say sure confirm already gone.
I have no chance anymore.
I really duno what i have done that make her become that. but definately i really dun wish to give up on her.
When i fall for love i very hard to pull out no matter is success or fail.
I rather she just say i dun interest on u than just directly ignore me.
The feeling is damn bad.

Any advise ?
She really make me get into a very depression status and insomnia for sometime.
Maybe i really stupid. but i really dun feel like giving up.
TSaska123
post Oct 7 2017, 09:13 PM

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Thanks for the advice guys ~
Actually i duno why things happen so suddenly,
Coz never annoy her or do anything.
Now things so awkward. i guess is confirm gone liao ~
Although know need to move on, but the heart feeling still damn bad ....
More like that she just reject me rather than just totally ignore me. ...
TSaska123
post Oct 7 2017, 10:01 PM

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QUOTE(Kanan Jarrus @ Oct 7 2017, 09:40 PM)
just call it quits & just treat her like coworkers, like you said, if she works in another totally unrelated department as you are, then ignore her totally

you didn't harass her, & she throw shit at your face, next thing you know, if she acts bitchy all of the sudden & wants your attention like a little slutty fookin' whore, then she will go around spread bad rumours that will affect your work...

remember this gem: "Don't shit where you eat", if anything, now's the chance to bail out of this office relationship..
no need for closure bro,..

this kind of woman can tell already, she now acted like she's innocent, if TS go & wanna seek further closure from her, it will make TS desperate instead & worse comes 2 worse, she will take this chance to (possibly) further humiliate him...

if anything, just buat tak tau will do...
*
Agree with u bro ~

Maybe i just buat tak tau and ignore her totally.

Is sad, but is the last thing i can do.

TSaska123
post Oct 8 2017, 01:50 PM

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QUOTE(MasBoleh! @ Oct 8 2017, 01:35 AM)
This. Brace yourself with the pain and move on
*
`
Ya Man, thanks for the advice ~
TSaska123
post Oct 8 2017, 01:52 PM

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QUOTE(TNTroXxor @ Oct 8 2017, 12:40 PM)
Pretty sure she smell something up that's why stay away from you dy. Guys these days abit close proximity already like got feelings. At least you just paid for her lunch so damage low now move on bro
*
No idea man ~ but i hate the feeling like this ...
but this is not the first time i met this situation .... is sucks ~

This post has been edited by aska123: Oct 8 2017, 01:52 PM
TSaska123
post Oct 8 2017, 01:53 PM

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QUOTE(wong93 @ Oct 8 2017, 09:31 AM)
If someone ignore you, just ignore her back, don't even waste your time.
If she has interest, she will find you again, and that's where you ask her go makan or go out.
If she ignores you and you keep getting bothered and depressed and keep kacau her, she will leave you even further.
*
Understand man ~ seems to have no other option
TSaska123
post Oct 8 2017, 01:53 PM

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QUOTE(imsteady @ Oct 8 2017, 12:00 AM)
i feel you.. you are not alone  console.gif
*
Sure im not the only one ~ console.gif
TSaska123
post Oct 8 2017, 02:46 PM

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QUOTE(RUI @ Oct 8 2017, 02:05 PM)
This is a situation where girls step out of comfort zone to ask a guy out and shows all the positive sign; but yet, the guy still dumb dumb and does not take initiative to bring the relationship to the next level.

In my experience, the non-committed lovey-dovey activities will go on about 3-5 weeks. And still no initiative from the guy side. Total cut loss by week 6-7. So normally by week 5, I will say something like "I feel there is some chemistry going on between us, but i'm not too sure about it". This leads to two possible outcome, 1) She feels the same and the activities goes on with possibility to escalate the relationship  2) She feels that you syok sendiri and it would end up the same anyway.

But the difference is...you won't find yourself dumbfounded like now.
*
Base on ur view, any idea how to make things right ?
If u ask me, i was trying the best to save the situation, but no matter how i feel that it will get thing worst.

Things always go on both side.
I have been thinking the same way as well. but thing always go on both side.
When thing start it might be like wat u say or it might be she realize how i feel and try to get away from me.

Yet i seriously have no idea how or wat i should do.
Either just pretend duno anything or start ignore her.
Other i try to challenge myself to get thing better. but definitely it might get thing worst as well.

But i think no matter how everything alr confirm gone liao ~

This post has been edited by aska123: Oct 8 2017, 02:54 PM
TSaska123
post Oct 8 2017, 04:37 PM

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QUOTE(Pete the great @ Oct 8 2017, 03:55 PM)
maybe she is attached or married already?

or maybe she want to keep a distance in case you fall for her, in which you already have

maybe she has a lot of guy fans, and she has experienced this can of unwanted attention, so she want to keep a distance from you.

where got girls tell a guy, she has no interest in him? if she does that, and the whole office hear, then malu already lah. Or if she say that, then you suddenly pretend not to be interested and say "mana ada? I where got interested in you? you oversensitive is it?"

Girls got their own pride one.

don't bother lah, you never started in the first place, there was no pursuit, no courtship, you didn't tell her you like her.

So forget it lah, just go about doing your own work and ignore her.
*
Ya bro ~ i guess dun bother and move on is my only choice
TSaska123
post Oct 8 2017, 08:46 PM

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QUOTE(RUI @ Oct 8 2017, 06:57 PM)
First of all, "Don't shit at the place you eat" ONLY applies to those who has ZERO understanding of Professionalism.
Zero understanding about how personal emotion/bias/prejudice adversely affects companies interest.

The usual rebuttal...Human have emotions! We have feelings!
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


If you have abit of understanding about it, it's all cool.
That depends on your goal.
It has not happen yet. And even if it does, you are a professional and nothing has changed.
What's do you have to lose by asking...
"Hey, we used to have alot to talk about during our lunch break. Wanna do that later?"
or updates on topics that you guys talked about last time.

Just focus on what you guys gonna do during the lunch than "what does the lunch means".

Hope you are able to see how different focus yields different outcome.
1) Where lunch means joyful company and a break from all tension and seriousness.
2) Where lunch means I'm gonna get into your pants.

At any point, I feel that going lunch with you means you getting under my pants. You know which way it goes.

So, which one is it?
You Johnnie Walker's motto is keep walking and it has made the company pretty profitable.

For the
1) Winner: Every step walking towards your goal. Johnnie Walker is there with you.
2) Loser: Every step you walk away from what you want. Johnnie Walker is also there with you.

Makes money on both ends.
*
Main thing i definitely wont let it affect my job.
But as what you says, feeling and emotion is still there at the end.

I have been asking for lunch or finding chance for conversation for 3 weeks and nothing change.
I believe that communication is still the best method to solve every problem. But yet can see that shes the one which dun give even a single chance.
Trying to texting but just read and no reply. But while the same time my colleague is texting with her happily.
So definitely something is happening which i duno. Maybe is misunderstanding or somekind of word that make her feel angry.

One of the biggest problem about asking is that i have been through the same stupid situation many years back, at the end being humiliate by the Bitch and Blackmailing me by spreading rumors.
I have suffer for a long period because of that. I definitely not really dare to ask for that again.


TSaska123
post Oct 8 2017, 08:49 PM

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QUOTE(Drian @ Oct 8 2017, 08:41 PM)
Just ignore her back , and continue with your life? Is it that hard?

Why do you need her to not ignore you?

You can only control how you behave , you can't control how people behave.
*
Agree with u bro ~
Just sometime emotion is still emotion.
Time will make everything better
TSaska123
post Oct 8 2017, 08:50 PM

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QUOTE(nervsta @ Oct 8 2017, 08:45 PM)
if you insist, ask for the reason...
if she shows no interest to you, just leave it...
*
I think i wont do so at the end.
Leave it and move on will be my only option now.
But still the feeling and emotion is there. Just let the time fix it.
TSaska123
post Oct 8 2017, 08:53 PM

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QUOTE(RUI @ Oct 8 2017, 08:41 PM)
It's better to focus what's "right" than to focus on what's "wrong"...
If you focus on what's wrong, in most situation, put the other party in awkward situation at best and defensive state at worse.

The mental state TS will want to put her in is "It's pretty nice to hang out with this guy. I hope he ask me out more often"
instead of "I go lunch whoever I like, none of your business" like most suggested response.

In her head, "what's wrong with us?" = "What's wrong with you"+"I go lunch whoever I like, none of your business"

I'm sure you and TS will be able to know which is the preferable more mental state. Right?
*
What u means is rather than focus on whats "wrong" and what is happening,
Just focus on how to make thing continue with a better way for doing something "right" ?
TSaska123
post Oct 8 2017, 10:23 PM

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QUOTE(-Aktan- @ Oct 8 2017, 10:02 PM)
Let it go.. focus more important stuff,

Buy a condo for rent or honda civic or a new watch

Find something better, invest in yourself
*
Ya definitely i will ~
Just that emotion is still emotion will need to wait for the time to cure it.
TSaska123
post Oct 8 2017, 10:24 PM

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QUOTE(frequency @ Oct 8 2017, 10:09 PM)
To win the girl you want is to attract them with your charm than being follower and worshiper of her.

Ignore her and move on, life have so much thing to focus and do to build your charm
*
Understand bro ~
But emotion and feeling is still something cannot control easily.
Sadness and depress will still be there
Ignore and move on is my only chance.
The other let time to handle it.
TSaska123
post Oct 9 2017, 12:06 PM

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QUOTE(amar_arifin @ Oct 9 2017, 10:18 AM)
move on..
got better beauty girl out there
*
Will do man ~
Is sad, but i have no other option ~
Will ignore back and move on as well ~
TSaska123
post Oct 9 2017, 04:11 PM

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QUOTE(luckyboyzz86 @ Oct 9 2017, 12:48 PM)
1st of all try to ask her the reason. she might have some reason . you need to know the root cause before fixing something.
hence you need to ask rather that just leave it like that not knowing what will happen. smile.gif
after you know the reason that i guess you should know how to move on .
nothing to be shy. even after you have asked her any she still doesn't reply.  than you can start ignore her and move on.
*
Bro i have no idea how i should start the conversation base on this situation.
I hope to fix the situation, or at least i know what is happening for my to learn about myself.
But seriously i have no idea how to ask. I been through some bad experience asking the problem.
and situation is too awkward. Or just find a chance bump with her and ask or how?
Maybe u have any idea on that ?


TSaska123
post Oct 9 2017, 08:11 PM

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QUOTE(Doomsday @ Oct 9 2017, 05:14 PM)
just confront her face 2 face and talk privately. Best is after work.
*
Thanks for the idea
Will see how it goes ..
TSaska123
post Oct 9 2017, 08:12 PM

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QUOTE(luckyboyzz86 @ Oct 9 2017, 05:32 PM)
Dont need to avoid. got phone number. call her . ask her directly. be a man. she ain't gonna eat you.
guys are normally straight forward to the point. don't need to think so much. smile.gif either you gonna know the reason or she just keep ignore you .  rather than now keep think or guessing whats her issue is. if you still dont have the guts. just get a booster 2 pint. pump up than call her. ( do not meet her in drunk situation ya. ) hahaha
if she still ignore, than leave it. She might call/ text you back later if she still want to talk with you.
*
Thanks for the advice ..
Will see how it goes ... hope everything wont go to the worst situation ...
TSaska123
post Oct 12 2017, 12:25 PM

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QUOTE(Buriburi San @ Oct 11 2017, 03:21 PM)
Few of the reason that I can tell u is:

1. She attracted to you at first but then found out that you are boring/not her type after know more about you later.

Solution:
Move on

2. If she just started working there, she might need someone as her comfort stepping stone before establishing her social circle. She might already done with you.

Solution: Move on

3. She might mingle with a circle that despise you, she will need to fit in the circle by sacrificing you.

Solution: Move on

4. She found someone better than you

Solution: Move on

5. She already got your balls (she know you are desperate for her)

Solution: She's playing the game. Move on.

6. You are the outcast in your work place

Solution: Become the cooler and more desirable guy in the office but its not easy for an outcast. Easier to move on.

7. Relationship ups and downs

Solution: Brace urself and wait for the winter to go. Have a minimal and necessary contact only without looking too cold to her or too warm. If relationship still cold after a while, then move on. If getting better, then make ur move slowly without looking too desperately.

8. She's the hottest in the market and you cant offer her better benefit than she think she deserved.

Solution: Move the fuck on
*
I guess ignore and Move on is the only choice ~


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