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> Headache With Sister in Law family

carmenyta
post Sep 13 2017, 07:15 PM

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Sigh this is the problem. Stay for the sake of children but they never think what the children might see and get affected.
exsea
post Sep 13 2017, 07:18 PM

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i have a relative. wife working. husband working. husbands business fell to the gutter due to becoming obsolete. did not attempt to adapt to change or anything. refused to find new job.

they're now divorced. the tragedy is their children. sadly thats the way things work.

stay together for family and babysit an asshole, or breakit all
bobowyc
post Sep 13 2017, 07:28 PM

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QUOTE(intelredmi @ Sep 12 2017, 03:21 PM)
Let me share about my sister in law and her family. She's a senior executive at a GLC, making at least 6K monthly, maybe more. 4 children age between 2 to 10. Her husband on the other hand refuse to work for other. Both are tertiary educated. For me, if its only her and her kids, 6k++ is more than enough.

The problem is the husband. He inherited a few pieces of lands from his dad, and sell them off. Made a few hundred thousands. He use the it to open a small health and beauty product shop but failed miserably. Closed shop,  have to borrow here and there (from the wifes parents, and her siblings, my wife included).

Then he sold another piece of his inherited land, and open a cafe. Also not going really well. A few times his wife come to us and her parents to borrow money as he is unable to pay the workers and the shop rent. My wife lend her sister some money without telling me, and I got really angry when I found out this morning. The husband mati2 dont want to find job, or even drive uber or grab. Always want to be the boss even have to beg from us. His own siblings dont even care to help him at all. FYI his wife's salary alone is more than me and my wife's combined income.

I pity my 66 years old father in law have to keep working, because he's worried about his daughter and grandkids. Even have to dig their savings to help the daughter. What you will do if you re in my sister in laws husband position? Will you look for a job? Drive uber/grab? Close shop and try other business? Or just bertahan with the losing cafe business?

Sorry for bad English. Not an English speaker
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I think it was a bad move for her husband to sell the land. And only get a few hundred thousand. Might as well rent it out, or plant food and ask other people to take care. XD hahah. Since he so lazy. lol. Why she marry lazy guy..
permintcuzzi
post Sep 13 2017, 09:07 PM

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Stop intra family lending and he will wake up very fast.
ketupatlazat
post Sep 13 2017, 10:50 PM

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dont give money anymore yo, seriously..

let him feel the reality of his fkd up situation. Now dude is thinking his close family members are guaranteed safety net for him. Pouring any more money is like throwing it into a black hole. It will continue sucking all that is thrown and will never be enough.

How long has the dude been leechin from his wife? Financial strains are the real problem yo,,,pity them kids if that useless dude is just another mouth to be fed.

Divorce is an option, just saying. Tebus talak lah

It's not the end for the kids. What they really need is to get rid of that toxic. Hopefully that mother will be able to juggle along everything then, but it sure would be very2 tough. We talkin about 4 kids yo

eaglehelang
post Sep 13 2017, 11:46 PM

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Ask your sis in law divorce the fella lah. Not good for the children, ah long will come to the house.
With your sis in law salary, she can support her kids all by herself. Dump the parasite husband.


eaglehelang
post Sep 13 2017, 11:59 PM

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QUOTE(TreyLey @ Sep 13 2017, 07:10 PM)
If she's your in law then her husband is your brother?
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TS wife sister's hsuband. Wife side of family punya hal
Bizarro
post Sep 14 2017, 01:30 AM

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intelredmi,

Give a man a fish & you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish & you feed him for a lifetime.
thesoothsayer
post Sep 14 2017, 07:19 AM

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QUOTE(intelredmi @ Sep 13 2017, 07:57 AM)
Yeah, I scolded my wife kaw2 yesterday for lending money to her sister. BTW my SIL did intended to report to Pejabat Agama when he beat her a few years back, accompanied by my wife. But midway she changed her mind and gave the hubby second chance. They got their fourth child after that. Till today my SIL mati2 dun wan to file for divorce, thinking of the children
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Reminds me of what my friend said. A lot of couple make babies when they have problems hoping that a child will solve it. Usually, it turns out worse.
intelredmi
post Sep 14 2017, 08:18 AM

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QUOTE(TreyLey @ Sep 13 2017, 07:10 PM)
If she's your in law then her husband is your brother?
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She's my wife's older sister. In Malay the husband is my "biras". I don't know if there's any word for that in English.

intelredmi
post Sep 14 2017, 08:26 AM

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QUOTE(Dumpla @ Sep 14 2017, 07:09 AM)
Y u wan scold ur wife for lending money? The money its not urs anyway unless take from joint acc different storu.

Just advise her only but its upto her to decide. Its her family n she have the choice want help or no. U just a husband who are u to stop ur wife from helping her family. Bcoz u is laki n bini must listen to husband everytime?
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Because I know the money will end up to her sister's hubby, to keep his business alive. As long as the business still alive, he'll keep leeching money from family, because it brings negative income. My thought is, if the family just let him be until he goes bankrupt, hopefully he will wake up, and start looking for a real job. At least its something even its just maybe RM1k per month.

pillage2001
post Sep 14 2017, 09:58 AM

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nmind....just read that he's your wife's sister mia husband.....lol

This post has been edited by pillage2001: Sep 14 2017, 09:59 AM
empatTan
post Sep 15 2017, 03:07 AM

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QUOTE(xecton @ Sep 13 2017, 09:38 AM)
buy his land for cheap the next time he wants money
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This. And divorce.
SomaCruz89
post Sep 17 2017, 02:23 AM

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Cut any further financial support.

You can't save a person who is digging his own graveyard.
kypronite
post Sep 18 2017, 05:56 AM

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i can understand your bro in law predicament...
from boss to kuli, is like from office worker become burger seller.
your brother in law feel that once he work makan gaji, he will forever makan gaji.
that really a big fall.

have one to one talk with your brother in law, give psychology support for him to stop business..
tell him you willing to give financial support your sister family but not his failing business.
Don't talk badly about his failing business,
the more you tell him negatively his business is failing, the more he want to prove you wrong.

This post has been edited by kypronite: Sep 18 2017, 05:56 AM
mousqy
post Sep 19 2017, 11:53 AM

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bwk tong gas to his house
xixo_12
post Sep 20 2017, 02:58 PM

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stop giving money, and let them handle it themselves, i been there before.. and i don't give single fk to that situation.. u create it, u settle it yourself

this matter really need an interference from parent in law, if they still support non stop, that husband will never learn.

no need to put ourselved in that husband shoes, someone need to give direct advice , obviously, the one that old enough which is parent, if you are the next one, which is your wife is second sister, u should help in this matter (you should be able to advice your wife too, stop any fund to help them), but this one really need to handle with no provocation and should in mature manner in order to overwrite sister in law husband. I don't know if you or parent in law capable in this situation.

its not easy bro.. cover your parent and wife first, if your wife still have small sister, that's the one need your protection.. we will never know what will happen.

This post has been edited by xixo_12: Sep 20 2017, 03:28 PM
intelredmi
post Oct 5 2017, 11:01 AM

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Just recently found out one more thing from my other SIL (wife's eldest sister). She's currently unemployed, so she worked at her bro in law's cafe. She told us secretly (even her father doesn't know) that the bro in law didn't pay her a few month salary. She gave the bro in law chances, in the end she didn't get paid at all. She quitted, and still unemployed to this day. Adding to my FIL's dependence.
sunami
post Oct 5 2017, 11:04 AM

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QUOTE(intelredmi @ Sep 12 2017, 04:21 PM)
For me, if its only her and her kids, 6k++ is more than enough.
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Seriously? with 4 kids?? are you living in kl?

intelredmi
post Oct 5 2017, 11:12 AM

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QUOTE(sunami @ Oct 5 2017, 11:04 AM)
Seriously? with 4 kids?? are you living in kl?
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Kuching here. Their 2 storey terrace house is only 1000++ per month, And persona instalment, maybe around 600++ per month. That's all. Maybe other debts that give trouble for them.



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