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 Hard to imagine marriage

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RUI
post Oct 4 2017, 02:32 PM

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QUOTE(sokiahlee @ Sep 8 2017, 04:55 PM)
men marry because they want to secure the 'constant' access to the pussy
women marry because they want the maximum provision from the men

men cheat because the polyamory instinct, and decreasing authority (feminism) on women for the past 50 years, etc
women cheat because the hypergamous instinct, monkey branching is understandable if any opportunity arises

nature doesn't care, biology speaks for themselves. You got this one right.

marriage is just one of the products to make the world 'seem' happy, harmonious, to keep the economy ongoing. You got this one wrong.
*
The true objective of marriage is a legal contract of two adults committed to one another or starting a family/bigger goal.
For people who are committed, polyamory/hypergamous are long behind them.

To me, marriage is like a JV to take on bigger project. And dating is like due diligence done on prospective partners.

People who committed got BIGGER goal. Way beyond their "dick/pussies" or "stomach".
It's not because they do not hv "biology" going on, it's just they way WAY more evolved than APES and want something else.

Anyway, if you insist on insulting yourself and deliberately compares yourself to an ape, please feel free to do so.
However, please have "men marry" changed to "you marry".

Hot attractive men have pussies whenever and where ever he likes. Don't need marriage to "secure" constant access to pussy.
If you have any wisdom at all, you should have known many married men are declined of sex by now and there is no such thing as "secure" access to pussy.

This post has been edited by RUI: Oct 4 2017, 02:33 PM
yaokb
post Oct 4 2017, 02:39 PM

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QUOTE(Da Mon Sta @ Sep 6 2017, 08:53 AM)
I'm been with J for almost 2 years, but somehow when I start thinking about the future and is she the one I wanna marry, I seem to lean towards a no.

We've been getting along ok so far, arguements are minimal. We can even go for overseas trip together.

Not sure is it just because I still not mature enough to think about marriage or is it because I think I'm so opposite of her.

I manage my money properly while she sucks at money management yet not hesitant to spend (her own money).

I like walking and exploring during holidays while she prefers a more comfortable style of holiday like not willing stay cheap accommodation and prefer shopping (but I guess it's a girl thing to have shopping as part of the holiday itinerary?)

I'm the plan ahead kind of person, have a to-do-list to fill my weekends while she basically is a lazy person and just sit around surfing the net all day.

Yes she never say no to me for pursuing my hobby or interest, but at the same time she never really ask me about it or try to know more about it. While I on the other hand, have no idea what is her interest as she just play phone and when she talks to me, its only about her workplace and colleagues. She has no particular passion or hobby so there's really no such thing as doing something we both enjoy together, she has to be persuaded to go gym or go jog with me, or when I propose some activities like badminton or bowling, she would just say ok she'll accompany me but she don't join.

I guess the reason we made it thus far is because we're good at tolerating each other? Like me accepting she likes branded stuff eventhough she's broke as long as she don't ask me to buy for her and her accepting my style of holiday itinerary as long as the room is decent and i allocated a day for shopping. But what I wonder is how long can these tolerance last before one day either one of us don't wanna tolerate anymore? What if one day I woke up and rather have someone with closer ideology to spend the rest of my life with.

She isn't like my other crushes I previously had which I was so infatuated and get nervous the first time we met. Tbh she was just someone whom I think, "ok I've been single for so long, she seems ok, why not just try it out and see where this goes". And I also believe its roughly the same for her, I think I'm not really her type but since she's also single for so long why not try it out. So I guess there no such thing as trying to rekindle a spark.

Or maybe this is what marriage is like? Me minding my own business and she minding hers, as long as we can tolerate each other then life goes on?

Just looking for some opinions and advise here, not judgement.
*
Girls. Take note.

This is why you should never sleep with a guy before marrying him.

Once they bed you, they will find you no longer perfect in their eyes. And when problems arise it's no loss to them when they dump you.

People who insist test-drive before marrying should just marry a car.

TSDa Mon Sta
post Oct 5 2017, 10:51 PM

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QUOTE(yaokb @ Oct 4 2017, 02:39 PM)
Girls. Take note.

This is why you should never sleep with a guy before marrying him.

Once they bed you, they will find you no longer perfect in their eyes. And when problems arise it's no loss to them when they dump you.

People who insist test-drive before marrying should just marry a car.
*
how does that even relate to me?
Drian
post Oct 6 2017, 09:48 AM

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QUOTE(Da Mon Sta @ Oct 5 2017, 10:51 PM)
how does that even relate to me?
*
There are going to be beta males, feminist, white knights and male virgins who disagrees with you, just do what is right for you , not what people think is right.

I've gone through this so many times , and then when you prove that their stupid advice/statement is wrong in the future, all of them just keep quiet.

The guy above you thinks that you should always tolerate girls , and just accept whatever attitude the girls give you.
From the way he speaks he's most likely a beta white knight virgin male.


ah_suknat
post Oct 6 2017, 04:37 PM

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Lemme guess

Shes a saggitarius
yaokb
post Oct 6 2017, 11:44 PM

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QUOTE(Drian @ Oct 6 2017, 09:48 AM)
There are going to be beta males, feminist, white knights and male virgins who disagrees with you, just do what is right for you , not what people think is right.

I've gone through this so many times , and then when you prove that their stupid advice/statement is wrong in the future, all of them just keep quiet.

The guy above you thinks that you should always tolerate girls , and just accept whatever attitude the girls give you.
From the way he speaks he's most likely a beta white knight virgin male.
*
Any dog can have his day with a female and walk away.

It takes a real man to treat a woman right and not think only about his own wants. That is what real maturity and responsibility is.

For you to have gone through this so many times means you are not even smart enough to learn from your past mistakes. This is typical of those who only think of themselves and never of those they are involved with. Somehow it's like the girls are just less than human to them.

Friend. Every girl is someone's daughter.
How will you react if someone treated your daughter the way you treat the girls you were involved with.

Grow up.

Drian
post Oct 7 2017, 10:46 AM

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QUOTE(yaokb @ Oct 6 2017, 11:44 PM)
Any dog can have his day with a female and walk away.

It takes a real man to treat a woman right and not think only about his own wants. That is what real maturity and responsibility is.

For you to have gone through this so many times means you are not even smart enough to learn from your past mistakes. This is typical of those who only think of themselves and never of those they are involved with. Somehow it's like the girls are just less than human to them.

Friend. Every girl is someone's daughter.
How will you react if someone treated your daughter the way you treat the girls you were involved with.

Grow up.
*
Yawn
Do you know how stupid your white knight preaching sounds.
Let me play the same victimization game that you play.

I don't need to learn from my past mistake, cause I don't make mistake and I'm pretty happy now.
However people who has listened to your ideology of pampering women, allowing them to bully, and being a beta male REGRETTED their actions.

Results speaks:-
https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/4409393?author=analyze88
https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/4422846


It takes a real woman to treat a man right and not only think about her wants. That is what a real maturity and responsible woman is about.
Not just about what i want , what I want and also try to change her own ways to be a better person. Women themselves do not accept a loser so why should a man do the same , tell me. Hypocrisy?
This is typical for girls who only think of themselves and never of those they are involved with. Somehow it's like the guys are just ATM machines and they change bf like clothes to them.

Friend. Every guy is someone's son.
How will you react if someone treated your son badly , always laze around, and treats your son like an ATM?

Grown up white knight.
It's amazing how a white knight says a guy must always tolerate the girl and then if a girl no longer like a guy suddenly he keeps quiet about it.
Suddenly when it comes to females, it is freedom to choose who she loves. puke.gif

I'm looking forward for more white knight preaching so that I can just use the same phrases against you.
But then I'm pretty sure you'll resort to ad hominem because you can't proof any of my statements wrong.





yaokb
post Oct 7 2017, 01:49 PM

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QUOTE(Drian @ Oct 7 2017, 10:46 AM)
Yawn
Do you know how stupid your white knight preaching sounds.
Let me play the same victimization game that you play.

I don't need to learn from my past mistake, cause I don't make mistake and I'm pretty happy now.
However people who has listened to your ideology of pampering women,  allowing them to bully, and being a beta male REGRETTED their actions.

Results speaks:-
https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/4409393?author=analyze88
https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/4422846
It takes a real woman to treat a man right and not only think about her wants. That is what a real maturity and responsible woman is about.
Not just about what i want , what I want and also try to change her own ways to be a better person. Women themselves do not accept a loser so why should a man do the same , tell me. Hypocrisy?
This is typical for girls who only think of themselves and never of those they are involved with. Somehow it's like the guys are just ATM machines and they change bf like clothes to them.

Friend. Every guy is someone's son.
How will you react if someone treated your son badly , always laze around, and treats your son like an ATM?

Grown up white knight.
It's amazing how a white knight says a guy must always tolerate the girl and then if a girl no longer like a guy suddenly he keeps quiet about it.
Suddenly when it comes to females, it is freedom to choose who she loves.    puke.gif

I'm looking forward for more white knight preaching so that I can just use the same phrases against you.
But then I'm pretty sure you'll resort to ad hominem because you can't proof any of my statements wrong.
*
Yup. I was right.
You are one of those spoilt brats who thinks the world owes them everything.
And from your reply post, also one of those who will let the woman be the head of your household. smile.gif

Figures.

It's ok with me if you wanna stay immature.

Good luck finding happiness friend.

Not bothered to entertain you further.
Drian
post Oct 7 2017, 02:52 PM

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QUOTE(yaokb @ Oct 7 2017, 01:49 PM)
Yup. I was right.
You are one of those spoilt brats who thinks the world owes them everything.
And from your reply post, also one of those who will let the woman be the head of your household. smile.gif


Figures.

It's ok with me if you wanna stay immature.

Good luck finding happiness friend.

Not bothered to entertain you further.
*
Actually I was right , I predicted you can never counter your own hypocrisy and resorted to calling people names. Ad - hominem predicted correctly.
I can tell you from my married life that you are WRONG but of course how do you expect a male virgin to be right about girls .

It's also fine by me if you want to stay an immature virgin white knight, but seriously don't spread your hypocrisy here ok if you can't defend your own views.

You did the right thing though by not replying or else i'll expose even more of your hypocrisy.

This post has been edited by Drian: Oct 7 2017, 03:03 PM
Singh_Kalan
post Oct 12 2017, 12:08 AM

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QUOTE(Da Mon Sta @ Sep 6 2017, 08:53 AM)
I'm been with J for almost 2 years, but somehow when I start thinking about the future and is she the one I wanna marry, I seem to lean towards a no.

We've been getting along ok so far, arguements are minimal. We can even go for overseas trip together.

Not sure is it just because I still not mature enough to think about marriage or is it because I think I'm so opposite of her.

I manage my money properly while she sucks at money management yet not hesitant to spend (her own money).

I like walking and exploring during holidays while she prefers a more comfortable style of holiday like not willing stay cheap accommodation and prefer shopping (but I guess it's a girl thing to have shopping as part of the holiday itinerary?)

I'm the plan ahead kind of person, have a to-do-list to fill my weekends while she basically is a lazy person and just sit around surfing the net all day.

Yes she never say no to me for pursuing my hobby or interest, but at the same time she never really ask me about it or try to know more about it. While I on the other hand, have no idea what is her interest as she just play phone and when she talks to me, its only about her workplace and colleagues. She has no particular passion or hobby so there's really no such thing as doing something we both enjoy together, she has to be persuaded to go gym or go jog with me, or when I propose some activities like badminton or bowling, she would just say ok she'll accompany me but she don't join.

I guess the reason we made it thus far is because we're good at tolerating each other? Like me accepting she likes branded stuff eventhough she's broke as long as she don't ask me to buy for her and her accepting my style of holiday itinerary as long as the room is decent and i allocated a day for shopping. But what I wonder is how long can these tolerance last before one day either one of us don't wanna tolerate anymore? What if one day I woke up and rather have someone with closer ideology to spend the rest of my life with.

She isn't like my other crushes I previously had which I was so infatuated and get nervous the first time we met. Tbh she was just someone whom I think, "ok I've been single for so long, she seems ok, why not just try it out and see where this goes". And I also believe its roughly the same for her, I think I'm not really her type but since she's also single for so long why not try it out. So I guess there no such thing as trying to rekindle a spark.

Or maybe this is what marriage is like? Me minding my own business and she minding hers, as long as we can tolerate each other then life goes on?

Just looking for some opinions and advise here, not judgement.
*
Your story is very similar to my experience. But she is even more self centered than the girl that you describe.
We end up on our separate way after an incident at a family gathering. She was unhappy with the way I treated her for not buying her some gift that she requested earlier...its not for any special occasion. She complain to my mom and a relative. Then turn to me and lectured me in front of others. That was the last time we were together as couple. Actually I had planned to give her the gift during her birthday in a months time....but.
spunkberry
post Oct 12 2017, 02:04 AM

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you can be polar opposites on many things, but you have to have common goals if you want this to work. There are things that a couple MUST discuss before venturing into marriage territory, and these things include:

1. Money management. If she is not someone who knows how to manage her money and you do, maybe agree on an arrangement where you manage the money and she gets an allowance. It's for both your futures, if she wants to argue that she's being treated like a child.

2. Are you going to have children? If yes, do your parenting styles mesh?

3. What are your goals for the future? Do they sync? Is someone sacrificing something for the other? What's the compromise?
SUSSaladz
post Oct 12 2017, 06:10 AM

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QUOTE(Drian @ Oct 7 2017, 02:52 PM)
Actually I was right , I predicted you can never counter your own hypocrisy and resorted to calling people names. Ad - hominem predicted correctly.
I can tell you from my married life that you are WRONG but of course how do you expect a male virgin to be right about girls .

It's also fine by me if you want to stay an immature virgin  white knight, but seriously don't spread your hypocrisy here ok if you can't defend your own views.

You did the right thing though by not replying or else i'll expose even more of your hypocrisy.
*
Bro that fella is a hardcore Christian. I don't think you are able to talk sense into him seeing as how he believes there is an invisible man in the sky watching over us.

White knights like these are the ones grooming girls to be self-entitled. See how he asks men to be fair to women but not the other way round. So much for equality.

You provide solid arguments but he resorted to personal attacks. This is what those hardcore believers usually do when they are unable to defend their religions in light of convincing arguments against them.

He is the kind of person who thinks that saving sex until after signing a piece of paper is able to solve all the problems in a relationship just because his God prohibits sex before marriage.

I also fail to see how having sex before marriage relates to a genuine problem that the TS is having. yaokb Please go back to your preaching thread - we don't need you spamming all over the places with your irrelevant insights.

Back to the topic:

TS, i think it depends on how much you love her. Does she have something else that makes you feel that she is the one?

You see, hobbies are something that you guys can work on. Talk to her. Have a heart to heart talk. That is the least you should try before ending it.





Drian
post Oct 12 2017, 10:24 AM

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QUOTE(Singh_Kalan @ Oct 12 2017, 12:08 AM)
Your story is very similar to my experience.  But she is even more self centered than the girl that you describe. 
We end up on our separate way after an incident at a family gathering.  She was unhappy with the way I treated her for not buying her some gift that she requested earlier...its not for any special occasion.  She complain to my mom and a relative.  Then turn to me and lectured me in front of others.  That was the last time we were together as couple.  Actually I had planned to give her the gift during her birthday in a months time....but.
*
All I can say is why didn't you dump her earlier.

Drian
post Oct 12 2017, 10:27 AM

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QUOTE(Saladz @ Oct 12 2017, 06:10 AM)
Bro that fella is a hardcore Christian. I don't think you are able to talk sense into him seeing as how he believes there is an invisible man in the sky watching over us.

White knights like these are the ones grooming girls to be self-entitled. See how he asks men to be fair to women but not the other way round. So much for equality.

You provide solid arguments but he resorted to personal attacks. This is what those hardcore believers usually do when they are unable to defend their religions in light of convincing arguments against them.

He is the kind of person who thinks that saving sex until after signing a piece of paper is able to solve all the problems in a relationship just because his God prohibits sex before marriage.

I also fail to see how having sex before marriage relates to a genuine problem that the TS is having. yaokb Please go back to your preaching thread - we don't need you spamming all over the places with your irrelevant insights.

Back to the topic:

TS, i think it depends on how much you love her. Does she have something else that makes you feel that she is the one?

You see, hobbies are something that you guys can work on. Talk to her. Have a heart to heart talk. That is the least you should try before ending it.
*
Really, I have Christian friends I don't think any of them are like him.
In fact I do know a Pastor's son who talks hamsap stuff as well ,LOL.


loki
post Oct 12 2017, 10:33 AM

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it seems like you are beginning to potray yourself like a perfect man. So, it's all flaws on her side and you are just perfect?
amar_arifin
post Oct 12 2017, 03:23 PM

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i feel you TS...
after marriage u realized she not in the same route with u..
dun have a same goal..
she also not a good enough / perfect for u since u said it..
make u less love each other..

perhaps children will give u some 'new life' for both..

Singh_Kalan
post Oct 12 2017, 06:58 PM

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QUOTE(iNEEDfaith @ Oct 12 2017, 05:19 PM)
Lecture you.
I can imagine the situation...
You should've drag her inside toilet and fuck her asshole
*
Not in a loud way. Just ppl nearby can hear.
Sodomy will make me end up in jail. confused.gif
joedpa82
post Oct 12 2017, 07:31 PM

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QUOTE(Da Mon Sta @ Sep 6 2017, 09:53 AM)
I'm been with J for almost 2 years, but somehow when I start thinking about the future and is she the one I wanna marry, I seem to lean towards a no.

We've been getting along ok so far, arguements are minimal. We can even go for overseas trip together.

Not sure is it just because I still not mature enough to think about marriage or is it because I think I'm so opposite of her.

I manage my money properly while she sucks at money management yet not hesitant to spend (her own money).

I like walking and exploring during holidays while she prefers a more comfortable style of holiday like not willing stay cheap accommodation and prefer shopping (but I guess it's a girl thing to have shopping as part of the holiday itinerary?)

I'm the plan ahead kind of person, have a to-do-list to fill my weekends while she basically is a lazy person and just sit around surfing the net all day.

Yes she never say no to me for pursuing my hobby or interest, but at the same time she never really ask me about it or try to know more about it. While I on the other hand, have no idea what is her interest as she just play phone and when she talks to me, its only about her workplace and colleagues. She has no particular passion or hobby so there's really no such thing as doing something we both enjoy together, she has to be persuaded to go gym or go jog with me, or when I propose some activities like badminton or bowling, she would just say ok she'll accompany me but she don't join.

I guess the reason we made it thus far is because we're good at tolerating each other? Like me accepting she likes branded stuff eventhough she's broke as long as she don't ask me to buy for her and her accepting my style of holiday itinerary as long as the room is decent and i allocated a day for shopping. But what I wonder is how long can these tolerance last before one day either one of us don't wanna tolerate anymore? What if one day I woke up and rather have someone with closer ideology to spend the rest of my life with.

She isn't like my other crushes I previously had which I was so infatuated and get nervous the first time we met. Tbh she was just someone whom I think, "ok I've been single for so long, she seems ok, why not just try it out and see where this goes". And I also believe its roughly the same for her, I think I'm not really her type but since she's also single for so long why not try it out. So I guess there no such thing as trying to rekindle a spark.

Or maybe this is what marriage is like? Me minding my own business and she minding hers, as long as we can tolerate each other then life goes on?

Just looking for some opinions and advise here, not judgement.
*
If you lean towards a no then don't. It's not a hard choice. You seem to be a guy who wants to share everything while she just wants to be comfy in her own zone. With marriage comes children. Are you sure you want to have a child with her?
t3nchi
post Oct 13 2017, 04:47 AM

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Tbh she was just someone whom I think, "ok I've been single for so long, she seems ok, why not just try it out and see where this goes". And I also believe its roughly the same for her, I think I'm not really her type but since she's also single for so long why not try it out. So I guess there no such thing as trying to rekindle a spark.


You're settling. I understand if you started out not so hot but if your attraction didn't improve a lot since you were together, it's time to move on.

This post has been edited by t3nchi: Oct 13 2017, 05:09 AM
t3nchi
post Oct 13 2017, 05:05 AM

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Relationships are about compromise right?

But does the threadstarter (TS) need to compromise on EVERYTHING? What happened to "having things in common"? You gotta have some things in common i.e. values, hobbies, long-term goals. Doesn't sound like you have much in common.

Don't be a beta-cuck like some of the posters in this thread telling you to persevere, or even worse, have children to improve the relationship after marriage. What a terrible idea. Your kids will grow up in what will most likely be a loveless marriage. Do you want to be THAT family?

You're not excited about the idea of marrying her, do yourself a favor, respect yourself, and don't settle. We should do the best we can to get what we want in life, and that includes partners.

OK, let's say for a moment I want to get off my soap box... TS, did you talk to your gf about your philosophies and values? Just a simple discussion, not forcing anyone to change unless each person volunteers to try.

This post has been edited by t3nchi: Oct 13 2017, 05:11 AM

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