Pertaining to the title above, we have been together for 8+ years and I think it's time to pop the question. Since the engagement ring isn't cheap, I have some concerns. I can get her ring size easily and I probably will be able to pick the one she likes but I am afraid that she will feel uncomfortable wearing that (too heavy etc). I am also in the middle of planning the surprise proposal. Now, I am left with these options:
1. Pick the ring on my own
2. Bring along her to pick the ring
3. Propose with a temporary ring and get the actual ring together afterwards

Would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

Get ring on your own and propose.

Bring her along and pick the ring. Let her decide... You may surprise in another way but ring is she will wear on it forever one...

If u pick, she dont like how?
Temporary ring? Double the investment? Not so feasible la...

Buy the loose diamond and use a temporary ring holder to hold it temporarily. With this, you still can surprise her without risking choosing the wrong design and ring size.

I would say it depends on her type of person. If she already have a dream ring in her mind, option 2 or 3 will be the best. If she is not so concerned about how the ring design will be then you can just pick it on your own

There is a few options you can go about this:

1) Buy it yourself and pray that she likes it.
2) Bring her along and she can select what she really likes.
3) Check out her pintrest account (if she has any) or check out her "like" photos. Hopefully, you can locate a few.
4) Berpakat with one of her good friend, someone who will be discreet enough and find out what design she may like.

I personally went with no. 2, I went with my boyfriend to get mine. But that is my preference cos I'm quite picky
I've also done No. 4 for a friend. This is not going to be easy cos her friend would need to know how to start that conversation to get the gist of what she likes.

I would suggest you to bring her with you cos everyone has different taste, no doubt a solitaire is the norm but if she's as picky as me, I would go with No.2. You can always surprise her in the proposal itself since purchasing it doesn't mean engaged straight away

See if your GF is type of like or dislike "surprise".

Dislike "surprise" type, confirm must bring her to the shop & select.

This is actually pretty good. Will keep that in mind.

I actually plan to do a surprise proposal so option 2 will indeed kill the surprise. She is clearly expecting a proposal as we are quite stable now and it's time to pull the curtain. Option 4 sounds feasible but i agree with you that it won't be easy. Mind sharing how your bf proposed to you? Was it a surprise one? =)

Buy cheap zirconia rings. Lots of them in Lazada and get a few sizes. It's only for proposal so she won't be looking at the design and reject you if it's not to her liking. Once she accepted your proposal, you can go shopping for proper ring together.

If she look at the ring before deciding to accept the proposal then you don't want to marry such a girl.

This post has been edited by abubin: Sep 7 2017, 04:47 PM

He has not proposed yet. LOL thus why I used "bf"
What we did was, he brought me and I selected. Then he kept it locked away and ensure I didn't have even one picture of the ring.
So that when he propose, whenever he proposes, I won't really remember how the ring looks like. Which works cos I can't actually remember how it looks like at the top of my head. I still don't know when the proposal is going to be so I'm sure I'll be surprised, even if it's not, it wouldn't change my answer

I have a friend who did pretty much like me. The guy took her too and kept it. 8 months later he proposed.
It was an ordinary day where he just told her "Let's have a date night". So she got dressed up and put on make up etc.
I was hiding behind. So when he popped the question, and she said yes, we came out congratulating them.
It was still a surprise to her cos although she knew a proposal was coming, she still didn't know WHEN.
So it worked

Actually I have quite a number of friends who did a surprise proposal rather than a surprise ring + proposal. It's quite common nowadays.
I don't think I actually have someone who didn't know about anything at all

Just a tip though: If you are planning a proposal, be it option 1-4, it's always best to still berpakat with her friends. As a lady, you would want to take nice photos of the ring after the proposal, a GOOD MANICURE is a MUST! Have her friends have a girls' day out the day before to get their nails done, trust me she will be happy. I did that for my friend mentioned and she was sooo grateful I did.

Thanks for sharing your experiences. They are really helpful to me. I am considering bringing her to choose a ring then do a surprise proposal later but I guess for my case it will be very obvious and she will know when I want to propose because I plan to do it on our dating anniversary date. Never thought of the manicure thingy, thanks! Also, one more question, for you, which would you prefer?
1. A private proposal (only two of you)
2. A proposal in front friends and family
3. A proposal in the public

Glad to help. Thought I'll give my 2 cents of opinion as a lady since I think most of them that replied are males

I would actually prefer just the two of us. And if family & friends wants to join, they can come out and surprise.
So it's like bam! Proposal! not enough, BAM! Family and friends! Double surprise

You could also do a surprise proposal that would throw her off... During a girl's day out with her friends, you surprise her by appearing there to propose.
It really depends on individual actually. Either way, you would still need her friend's opinion so you could ask them and see what they think.

Girls always talk about proposal/wedding. Especially when you've been with someone for 8+ years, lol. So I won't be surprised if they've already talked about how she would prefer being proposed to. Her best friends are your best ally

If you have a slight idea of her tastes try to pick it urself, some jeweler in UK where I was give you the option to change the ring if within a certain time.
Otherwise, propose with a temporary ring so you don't spoil the surprise, then go look for one she likes,,,,be careful dou on the price tag she lookin at!