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 Kids & Divorce, heartbreaks of my divorce husband

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TSAntiSurge
post Aug 3 2017, 11:10 AM, updated 7y ago

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Hello all, i'm sorry i'm not sure if this is the right group to post about divorce. I'm going through a very stressful divorce that both me and my husband wants our son. My son been staying with me for 3 years. His dad comes over to see him every 1-2 months and every holiday, I will take him to KL to visit his dad. My son is 4 years old now. My divorcing-in-progress-husband came to visit our son over the weekend and we went out together like normal. 2 days ago, my son told me "Mommy, I want to go KL because KK has zombies and vampires, KL got batman." I asked him who said that he said Papa. So he keep telling me he is very scared and want to leave KK. this morning, my son wanted iPad when we were preparing to go school, so i told him after school then only can watch. He then said "I dont love you anymore, Papa dont love you anymore. I want to go KL because Papa loves me, Papa will give me anything I want."
My tears rolled to my cheek in the next few secs while showering him. I had been fighting very hard for him, working very hard for him to give him a good life. I never say things like that to my son, I always tell him that Papa loves him, mama loves him and we are happy family.
Is there anyone here went through divorce before and know how do we teach our kids the positive way in marriage? I spoke to my husband do not say something like that to our son, but he never listen. cry.gif cry.gif cry.gif
lingleeyen
post Aug 3 2017, 11:15 AM

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Your ex-husband to be is jerk. A big one.

Go to the court to settle. Tell the judge that your ex-husband to be is using ways to sway the kids towards him.

Just make sure that you have enough financial capabilities to provide to the kid. Else it will be a hard battle.

Also, try to explain things to your kid. They will understand.
TSAntiSurge
post Aug 3 2017, 02:52 PM

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QUOTE(lingleeyen @ Aug 3 2017, 11:15 AM)
Your ex-husband to be is jerk. A big one.

Go to the court to settle. Tell the judge that your ex-husband to be is using ways to sway the kids towards him.

Just make sure that you have enough financial capabilities to provide to the kid. Else it will be a hard battle.

Also, try to explain things to your kid. They will understand.
*
Thank you very much. I did video what my son said about his dad told him KK has zombies and vampires so he shall go KL.
It's just that I dont know how to explain to my son what happened to daddy and mommy and mommy is fighting very hard so dont say things like choose either one but we love both daddy mommy coz we are family?
lingleeyen
post Aug 3 2017, 03:16 PM

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QUOTE(AntiSurge @ Aug 3 2017, 02:52 PM)
Thank you very much. I did video what my son said about his dad told him KK has zombies and vampires so he shall go KL.
It's just that I dont know how to explain to my son what happened to daddy and mommy and mommy is fighting very hard so dont say things like choose either one but we love both daddy mommy coz we are family?
*
Tell your kid that you guys have separated. Kids might not understand but they feel different vibe. They will understand. Just say your ex-husbands wants the kid that is why he say bad things about KK. He gives you everything and you don't because you are teaching the kid to work to earn. Explain. Kids are smarter than we thought they are. Never never talk bad about the dad like how he did.
bearbear
post Aug 3 2017, 03:17 PM

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i thought in normal circumstances the court will side the mom for below 7 years old? Then the next review will be at 7 years old and subsequently the child is free to decide at 18?

Consult your lawyer?
KenPatrick
post Nov 20 2017, 06:26 PM

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You should go to the court to resolve this problem. Tell the judge that your former husband to be is utilizing approaches to influence the children towards him. Simply ensure that you have enough money related abilities to give to the child.
Joeyskullz
post Nov 20 2017, 06:50 PM

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QUOTE(AntiSurge @ Aug 3 2017, 12:10 PM)
Hello all, i'm sorry i'm not sure if this is the right group to post about divorce. I'm going through a very stressful divorce that both me and my husband wants our son. My son been staying with me for 3 years. His dad comes over to see him every 1-2 months and every holiday, I will take him to KL to visit his dad. My son is 4 years old now. My divorcing-in-progress-husband came to visit our son over the weekend and we went out together like normal. 2 days ago, my son told me "Mommy, I want to go KL because KK has zombies and vampires, KL got batman." I asked him who said that he said Papa. So he keep telling me he is very scared and want to leave KK. this morning, my son wanted iPad when we were preparing to go school, so i told him after school then only can watch. He then said "I dont love you anymore, Papa dont love you anymore. I want to go KL because Papa loves me, Papa will give me anything I want."
My tears rolled to my cheek in the next few secs while showering him. I had been fighting very hard for him, working very hard for him to give him a good life. I never say things like that to my son, I always tell him that Papa loves him, mama loves him and we are happy family.
Is there anyone here went through divorce before and know how do we teach our kids the positive way in marriage? I spoke to my husband do not say something like that to our son, but he never listen. cry.gif  cry.gif  cry.gif
*
I am trully sorry about your divorce. I know as a mother will fight and will give everything to keep your son away from his dad. Whatever your ex husband do to your son it is not your son fault. It is more like your ex husband desperate to get him by spoiling him and give everything that your son ask. You dont get too much heart break because of that. Stay strong, focus on your divorce and getting your son back where he should belong too. Make sure once everything settle. for now, dont be mad at your son. just be mad at your ex husband because he is giving bad influence and dirty way to get your son.. i have seen this with my own eyes. You just stay strong and teach your son good things.. just educate your son there is no such thing vampire or anything. bring your son to a place that he could enjoy.. if KL got batman your place could have better super heroes.. entertain him more.. bring him more outings for now..
quebix
post Nov 22 2017, 12:38 PM

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any updates from TS on this case?

 

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