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Serious Fell for a girl with long distance BF

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TSLeonix7791
post Jun 23 2017, 12:32 PM

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QUOTE(Apeach91 @ Jun 23 2017, 12:20 PM)
Well I feel yall shouldn't keep blaming the guy since it TAKES TWO HANDS TO CLAP? Yea the guy should have back off when he knws she has a BF but the girl should know her boundaries as well? I don't think the guy will force his ways to kiss the girl if she didn't allow him to do so? Somemore it was she who took the initiative at the first place by texting him saying that SHE MISSES HIM? what? yall expect a single guy's will to be so strong ah? obviously most single guys will hope to get some love from a girl so when a girl says such crap most guys will go astray? so yall shouldn't be blaming him so much??? coz both parties are in wrong???? but it's good that both have decided to take a break from each other. i guess time is the best choice for such situations. it's either yall move on or realized the importance of each other.

Hope you find someone to love and also loves you back soon!
*
Thanks for the kind reply haha

QUOTE(MeToo @ Jun 23 2017, 12:23 PM)
but i think TS is a loser for backing off so soon...

he already at first base, should have tried harder, good things never come easy....

Got BF so what? GOOD things sure got lots of people want.... u wan look for a sampah that no one wants baru u pick up ka?
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Hi bro, it's not that i don't want to try harder, but she has told me to stop doing all these treating her life a GF stuff... plus i wouldn't want to force her after she put it that way....she told me she couldn't give me anything back...it's hard to know what is she thinking sometimes haha


MeToo
post Jun 23 2017, 12:37 PM

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QUOTE(Leonix7791 @ Jun 23 2017, 12:32 PM)
Thanks for the kind reply haha
Hi bro, it's not that i don't want to try harder, but she has told me to stop doing all these treating her life a GF stuff... plus i wouldn't want to force her after she put it that way....she told me she couldn't give me anything back...it's hard to know what is she thinking sometimes haha
*
She's unsure.
She's confused.
She feels guilty.

Its YOUR job to change her mind. To reassure her. To make her feel its right. To make her feel safe.

If you give up today, make sure you dont look back in regret.

Unker have gone thru many relationship in the past, there will always be one you wont forget...
TSLeonix7791
post Jun 23 2017, 12:50 PM

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QUOTE(MeToo @ Jun 23 2017, 12:37 PM)
She's unsure.
She's confused.
She feels guilty.

Its YOUR job to change her mind. To reassure her. To make her feel its right. To make her feel safe.

If you give up today, make sure you dont look back in regret.

Unker have gone thru many relationship in the past, there will always be one you wont forget...
*
Thx for the encouragement, i will think hard on what you say...

gangeun
post Jun 23 2017, 02:02 PM

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Sounds like her bf doesn't really love her. I'd get her to breakup with her BF if I were you. Girls need boys to make decisions and take actions, that's why she is standing on the fence. I bet her BF already curi makan overseas anyway. Relationship is not about promise but is more about togetherness. Some people will claim LDR work because it worked for them, but they never realized 90% of LDR fails.
Savor_Savvy
post Jun 23 2017, 03:01 PM

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Yes, the PR guy is not very serious. The girl does not want to let go because that PR guy is better than the current tutor. She knew she is wrong, but committed anyway. Like what many are sharing here, she might do this to other guys as well, if there is someone that cares for her. She needs care.
Ralna
post Jun 23 2017, 03:16 PM

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QUOTE(Leonix7791 @ Jun 23 2017, 12:22 PM)
Apparently the guy migrated there 10 years ago and he is already a PR. He is not coming back so i assume she is waiting for him to ask her to marry him...No offense taken, i think she really likes him and is willing to wait for him, i wish her all the best if that's the case. This July will be their 3rd year together. I would say she is quite shy but she isn't when you really know her. haha This guy is her 2nd BF from what she told me. Her first didn't even last a month....
*
QUOTE(gangeun @ Jun 23 2017, 02:02 PM)
Sounds like her bf doesn't really love her. I'd get her to breakup with her BF if I were you. Girls need boys to make decisions and take actions, that's why she is standing on the fence. I bet her BF already curi makan overseas anyway. Relationship is not about promise but is more about togetherness. Some people will claim LDR work because it worked for them, but they never realized 90% of LDR fails.
*
+1

Agree with gangeun. If I were TS and I really liked her, I would pursue her. As for the bf, well, if a man is really into a woman, he will make arrangement for her to be with him, and she will follow his plan.

FYI, my bf and I are in LDR for almost 1 year. He works in SG and we meet once every 2-3 months. We chat and talk every day, but still, online presence can't replace physical presence and connection. Bf and I are 10 months together, and he's already made 5 trips to see me. The 6th trip is coming soon to celebrate our anniversary, which he has planned 5 months ahead. I'm clearing my side here to work in SG next year. We plan to get married a year later after I am settled there. All these are what we have planned for the first 3 years of the relationship.

When a couple is in love with each other, they will wanna see each other and be with each other as much as they can. If a couple is in love, it is tough being separated like this, coz will feel lonely, miss each other like crazy, keep looking at the photos taken together, make early plans to see each other again...

I wonder how this girl can stand 3 years of LDR with only once-a-year meetings with the bf. Her wait seems to be an endless one as the bf is dragging her on with no concrete long-term plans.

Btw, if I really love my bf, I won't let any man touch me coz it is disgusting (yes, bf is faraway, but the basis for a successful LDR is trust & honesty). However, this girl allowed you to kiss her lips and hold her hands? Well, that's a clear red flag that her relationship isn't going well. Obviously, the lack of intimacy in LDR makes her crave for physical touch. That's why the girl easily succumbed and now she feels guilty coz she's "supposed to" be loyal to her bf.

The truth is: If her bf doesn't promise her a marriage and make arrangements for emigration, she is not obliged to stay loyal and she can just forget about him. The LDR is sure to fail coz there are no mutual relationship goals and long-term plans with marriage as end-goal in mind. If he had promised her and 'booked' her in advance, I'm sure she wouldn't have let you touch her (unless she's a horny girl, but she's not).
TSLeonix7791
post Jun 23 2017, 03:32 PM

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QUOTE(gangeun @ Jun 23 2017, 02:02 PM)
Sounds like her bf doesn't really love her. I'd get her to breakup with her BF if I were you. Girls need boys to make decisions and take actions, that's why she is standing on the fence. I bet her BF already curi makan overseas anyway. Relationship is not about promise but is more about togetherness. Some people will claim LDR work because it worked for them, but they never realized 90% of LDR fails.
*
I think right now she is the one that can't let go i think ? I mean 3 years chatting relationship is still something to her ? I just knew her like...4 months lol sweat.gif sweat.gif sweat.gif sweat.gif sweat.gif

QUOTE(Ralna @ Jun 23 2017, 03:16 PM)
+1

Agree with gangeun. If I were TS and I really liked her, I would pursue her. As for the bf, well, if a man is really into a woman, he will make arrangement for her to be with him, and she will follow his plan.

FYI, my bf and I are in LDR for almost 1 year. He works in SG and we meet once every 2-3 months. We chat and talk every day, but still, online presence can't replace physical presence and connection. Bf and I are 10 months together, and he's already made 5 trips to see me. The 6th trip is coming soon to celebrate our anniversary, which he has planned 5 months ahead. I'm clearing my side here to work in SG next year. We plan to get married a year later after I am settled there. All these are what we have planned for the first 3 years of the relationship.

When a couple is in love with each other, they will wanna see each other and be with each other as much as they can. If a couple is in love, it is tough being separated like this, coz will feel lonely, miss each other like crazy, keep looking at the photos taken together, make early plans to see each other again...

I wonder how this girl can stand 3 years of LDR with only once-a-year meetings with the bf. Her wait seems to be an endless one as the bf is dragging her on with no concrete long-term plans.

Btw, if I really love my bf, I won't let any man touch me coz it is disgusting (yes, bf is faraway, but the basis for a successful LDR is trust & honesty). However, this girl allowed you to kiss her lips and hold her hands? Well, that's a clear red flag that her relationship isn't going well. Obviously, the lack of intimacy in LDR makes her crave for physical touch. That's why the girl easily succumbed and now she feels guilty coz she's "supposed to" be loyal to her bf.

The truth is: If her bf doesn't promise her a marriage and make arrangements for emigration, she is not obliged to stay loyal and she can just forget about him. The LDR is sure to fail coz there are no mutual relationship goals and long-term plans with marriage as end-goal in mind. If he had promised her and 'booked' her in advance, I'm sure she wouldn't have let you touch her (unless she's a horny girl, but she's not).
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Hi there, thanks for the reply. We just talked on the phone and she told me the guy is planning to buy a house abroad soon and planning to have her move over there in the future. I suppose this is pretty much the universe is telling me to move on. tongue.gif

All the best to you, you 2 are trying hard to make it work. rclxms.gif
TarePanda
post Jun 23 2017, 04:13 PM

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QUOTE(Leonix7791 @ Jun 23 2017, 03:32 PM)
I think right now she is the one that can't let go i think ? I mean 3 years chatting relationship is still something to her ? I just knew her like...4 months lol  sweat.gif  sweat.gif  sweat.gif  sweat.gif  sweat.gif
Hi there, thanks for the reply. We just talked on the phone and she told me the guy is planning to buy a house abroad soon and planning to have her move over there in the future. I suppose this is pretty much the universe is telling me to move on.  tongue.gif

All the best to you, you 2 are trying hard to make it work. rclxms.gif
*
Bro, it's a plan only.
3 years of pure chatting but she still wanna hold back means she is royal type as well.

If you thinking you meet the right person...by right nothing can stop you.

Anyway, not too late that you give up now if you think she is not the right person...coz it's only 4 months


P/S: My wife was in LDR when I 1st meet her~
lil_flank
post Jun 23 2017, 05:09 PM

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QUOTE(Ralna @ Jun 23 2017, 10:43 AM)
The girl has to make a decision. If her bf plans to come back to M'sia, or she plans to migrate overseas with him, then you should leave them alone.

But if they have no concrete plans or mutual goals, their whole LDR is a waste of time. She might as well get settled with you here instead of wasting her years of youth on a relationship that brings no outcome.

Sorry to say, but this girl sounds kinda... dumb and naive to me. It seems like she has been with the bf for years, yet she doesn't know what she wants in a relationship and never thinks far. Correct me if I am wrong coz I won't waste my time on such a relationship.

Btw, is she a shy person who rarely goes out with guys? Is guy R her first bf?
*
Fully agree with u. The girl is just wasting her time and youth with her bf. She will rugi in the end.
TSLeonix7791
post Jun 23 2017, 05:17 PM

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QUOTE(TarePanda @ Jun 23 2017, 04:13 PM)
Bro, it's a plan only.
3 years of pure chatting but she still wanna hold back means she is royal type as well.

If you thinking you meet the right person...by right nothing can stop you.

Anyway, not too late that you give up now if you think she is not the right person...coz it's only 4 months
P/S: My wife was in LDR when I 1st meet her~
*
I am not sure about it but i think i should keep in touch with her as friends and see how it goes. I mean we do not know each other that long yet. Give it some time, maybe i will see something else ?

Thanks for the reply there kind sir.

QUOTE(lil_flank @ Jun 23 2017, 05:09 PM)
Fully agree with u. The girl is just wasting her time and youth with her bf. She will rugi in the end.
*
I told her the exact same thing before but she doesnt seems to mind about it. I guess he fell deep for him...
lil_flank
post Jun 23 2017, 05:42 PM

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QUOTE(Leonix7791 @ Jun 23 2017, 05:17 PM)
I am not sure about it but i think i should keep in touch with her as friends and see how it goes. I mean we do not know each other that long yet. Give it some time, maybe i will see something else ?

Thanks for the reply there kind sir.
I told her the exact same thing before but she doesnt seems to mind about it. I guess he fell deep for him...
*
In that case, its time to move on. Wasting your time. Probably she wana have the feeling of having two guys loving her at the same time. This is what i call selfish.

This post has been edited by lil_flank: Jun 23 2017, 05:43 PM
nightshade_nova
post Jun 23 2017, 06:30 PM

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That guy sounds like an alpha to me.

It might not make sense, but sometimes thats just how things work.
My friend got an alpha bf, like that oso.
Random pictures, status not updated.
When you mention those, I can see the similarities.

Even worse hes a model.
So got many admirers.

So my friend always vent in social media.
Always posting about not being appreciated, and insinuating to leave.
But she never does.

How she would kill for her bf to post pictures of them together on their instagram.
He does, but very very rarely.


I think when it comes to LDR, I think most ppl are willing to overlook matters of being faithful.
Understandably, it's very hard to maintain.

But if the bf is truly alpha, one easy way for you to make them break up is just tell the guy about your relationship with his gf.
I guarantee he will leave without hesitation.
Of course, you might suffer the consequences la. sweat.gif

Im not condoning anything, but I think you can still tell her bf and be civil about it.
May the best man win and all that shiz.

You do have the upper hand with proximity to her, I must say.

TSLeonix7791
post Jun 23 2017, 06:45 PM

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QUOTE(lil_flank @ Jun 23 2017, 05:42 PM)
In that case, its time to move on. Wasting your time. Probably she wana have the feeling of having two guys loving her at the same time. This is what i call selfish.
*
Currently i still don't know what should i do, too many mixed replies here sweat.gif I will try to look at this with an open mind. Thank you.

QUOTE(nightshade_nova @ Jun 23 2017, 06:30 PM)
That guy sounds like an alpha to me.

It might not make sense, but sometimes thats just how things work.
My friend got an alpha bf, like that oso.
Random pictures, status not updated.
When you mention those, I can see the similarities.

Even worse hes a model.
So got many admirers.

So my friend always vent in social media.
Always posting about not being appreciated, and insinuating to leave.
But she never does.

How she would kill for her bf to post pictures of them together on their instagram.
He does, but very very rarely.
I think when it comes to LDR, I think most ppl are willing to overlook matters of being faithful.
Understandably, it's very hard to maintain.

But if the bf is truly alpha, one easy way for you to make them break up is just tell the guy about your relationship with his gf.
I guarantee he will leave without hesitation.
Of course, you might suffer the consequences la.  sweat.gif

Im not condoning anything, but I think you can still tell her bf and be civil about it.
May the best man win and all that shiz.

You do have the upper hand with proximity to her, I must say.
*
hmm.gif To be frank, i did plan to confront the BF via social network. But i'm not sure if i should do that, obviously i'm not going to tell him what we did and all that but be civil about it like you said. But i have no idea how to be civil about it... no matter how i see, it's going to end up in a shit storm... sweat.gif

mengfart
post Jun 23 2017, 06:51 PM

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TS why you so cb?
amoi sudah ada bf you still mau go pursue?
What goes around comes around buddy.
wargreymon12
post Jun 23 2017, 10:08 PM

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QUOTE(Leonix7791 @ Jun 23 2017, 12:50 PM)
Thx for the encouragement, i will think hard on what you say...
*
I think you should back off.

You have planted the metaphorical seed.

Now the ball is in her court to dump this LDR and be with someone she can physically be with

Don't push any harder

In fact, go find someone else and date around

She needs to come to the realisation that she needs to male a choice, and you are a limited time offer
wargreymon12
post Jun 23 2017, 10:08 PM

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QUOTE(Leonix7791 @ Jun 23 2017, 06:45 PM)
Currently i still don't know what should i do, too many mixed replies here  sweat.gif I will try to look at this with an open mind. Thank you.
hmm.gif To be frank, i did plan to confront the BF via social network. But i'm not sure if i should do that, obviously i'm not going to tell him what we did and all that but be civil about it like you said. But i have no idea how to be civil about it... no matter how i see, it's going to end up in a shit storm... sweat.gif
*
Bad idea
Aztec
post Jun 23 2017, 10:32 PM

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ive been in guy R position. I work overseas and was dating this girl back in Malaysia. end up her pussy itchy and she found another guy.

Same drama as u with me going to come back soon for holiday and her with the guy taking a so called "break" because they know its wrong.

Anyways fast forward 6months and im a happy single guy. Like another user said, all is fair in love and war.

note of caution though if u believe in karma. I matched the cousin of the guy my ex is with now on tinder and ive already had a ONS with her (she is friends with my ex)

im gonna be a cunt and post my pic with her on fb soon just to piss off my ex and her bf for the lulz before i fly out

This post has been edited by Aztec: Jun 23 2017, 10:50 PM
TSLeonix7791
post Jun 24 2017, 08:27 AM

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QUOTE(wargreymon12 @ Jun 23 2017, 10:08 PM)
I think you should back off.

You have planted the metaphorical seed.

Now the ball is in her court to dump this LDR and be with someone she can physically be with

Don't push any harder

In fact, go find someone else and date around

She needs to come to the realisation that she needs to male a choice, and you are a limited time offer
*
QUOTE(wargreymon12 @ Jun 23 2017, 10:08 PM)
Bad idea
*
Yes, i didn't confront him. I was thinking about it yesterday but "what purpose does it serve ?" i ask myself. Nothing good is going to come out of it. Well anyway today is our last lesson together until October...

QUOTE(Aztec @ Jun 23 2017, 10:32 PM)
ive been in guy R position. I work overseas and was dating this girl back in Malaysia. end up her pussy itchy and she found another guy.

Same drama as u with me going to come back soon for holiday and her with the guy taking a so called "break" because they know its wrong.

Anyways fast forward 6months and im a happy single guy. Like another user said, all is fair in love and war.

note of caution though if u believe in karma. I matched the cousin of the guy my ex is with now on tinder and ive already had a ONS with her (she is friends with my ex)

im gonna be a cunt and post my pic with her on fb soon just to piss off my ex and her bf for the lulz before i fly out
*
Sorry to hear that bro, but i'm glad that everything is working out for you in the end. Today is our last lesson. Let's hope everything will go alright for me.

DoomCognition
post Jun 24 2017, 04:09 PM

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I am 2/3 like the guy you mentioned. Don't update FB shitz, LDR, but we see each other roughly once a month. I would dumo these kind of girls in a heart beat, and there will be no 2nd chance. It does not mean that the guy don't love her, but it could be due to circumstances that made him do what he did. Remember, your info is only coming from one source, always cross check with multiple sources. That is the first rule in dating game.

I think girls like these are generally not worth it, as if their hearts can change so quickly, then they will have to pay for the consequences.

Just let this be a beautiful memory to you and move on. Cut all contact from her, or minimize it as much as possible.

FYI, I have also almost been in your situation before, but I know clearly that it will not last, so I just let it be a memory. Before embarking on a relationship, I suggest know what you want out of it, and NEVER make decisions solely based on what your heart tells you. It is the #1 culprit for most of the shitstorms in relationships.
TSLeonix7791
post Jun 24 2017, 07:00 PM

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QUOTE(DoomCognition @ Jun 24 2017, 04:09 PM)
I am 2/3 like the guy you mentioned. Don't update FB shitz, LDR, but we see each other roughly once a month. I would dumo these kind of girls in a heart beat, and there will be no 2nd chance.  It does not mean that the guy don't love her, but it could be due to circumstances that made him do what he did. Remember, your info is only coming from one source, always cross check with multiple sources. That is the first rule in dating game.

I think girls like these are generally not worth it, as if their hearts can change so quickly, then they will have to pay for the consequences.

Just let this be a beautiful memory to you and move on. Cut all contact from her, or minimize it as much as possible.

FYI, I have also almost been in your situation before, but I know clearly that it will not last, so I just let it be a memory. Before embarking on a relationship, I suggest know what you want out of it, and NEVER make decisions solely based on what your heart tells you. It is the #1 culprit for most of the shitstorms in relationships.
*
Yea, today is the last time we see each other until October if she still wants to continue by then.

Yea i think it is pretty much time to move on from this. At least me and her are still friends. Which i don't mind at all.

Thanks for the reply.

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