"I am in a hurry because I must go to the hospital as the injury was so serious that maybe he will be there for one week." Rafa on Arjen Robben

"In training, I think I had the best record along with Frank Lampard. We all took something like 30 penalties and me and Frank only missed one each, but we both missed when it really mattered." - Jamie Carragher on England's shoot-out failure

"We are preparing a special weightlifting plan for Gerrard's shoulders because we want him to lift a lot of trophies for Liverpool in the next few years."

-Rafael Benitez

Masterclass from Rafa

'Football is much harder if you don't have the ball' - SVEN GORAN ERIKSSON

"My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7"

"Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side" -when asked if he thought that he was a volatile player"

Classics from David Beckham

LMAO! Someone buy him a dictionary for this next birthday. I vaguely remember the one where he boasted about being intelligent for intentionally picking up a booking to get himself suspended for the next game.

"I once rang him up and was on for 10 minutes about players and he told me about every player, their strengths and their weaknesses. I put the phone down and I said 'I bet he even knows the Dunfermline groundsman' so I rang him back and said 'Hey Alex, I forgot to ask you about the Dunfermline groundsman' and, by God, he did know his name and where he came from!"
Sheffield United's Neil Warnock on Fergie

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Added on March 15, 2007, 3:37 pmI remember that one. Also he talk about the youngest scorer for England, something about James Milner and Rooney.

This post has been edited by D.Ed: Mar 15 2007, 03:37 PM

"I never make predictions, and I never will" - Paul Gascoigne

"He actually looks a little twat, that Totti" - Ron Atkinson

"That boy throws a ball further than I go on holiday" - Ron Atkinson on Dave Challinor of Tranmere.

"The keeper should have saved that one but he did" - Ron Atkinson

"The Spaniards have been reduced to aiming aimless balls into the box" - Ron Atkinson

"If Glenn Hoddle said one word to his team at half time, it was concentration and focus" - Ron Atkinson

"I would not say David Ginola is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better" - Ron Atkinson

"Well, Clive, it's all about the two M's. Movement and positioning" - Ron Atkinson

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Added on March 15, 2007, 3:50 pmMore funnies from "Big Ron"

"Woodcock would have scored, but his shot was too perfect"

"Someone in the England team will have to grab the ball by the horns"

"He sliced the ball when he had it on a plate"

"I think that was a moment of cool panic there"

"Beckenbauer really has gambled all his eggs"

"Chelsea look like they've got a couple more gears left in the locker"

"Now Manchester United are 2-1 down on aggregate, they are in a better position than when they started the game at 1-1"

"Zero-zero is a big score"

"He was lightning slow"

"Tony Adams - He's a rock that the team has grown from"

"A ten foot keeper really should have stopped that"

"The keeper was unsighted - he still didn't see it"

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Added on March 15, 2007, 3:51 pmFunnies from Dave Basset

"You have got to miss them to score sometimes"

"It's been two ends of the same coin"

"We are now entering a new Millennium and football's a completely different cup of tea"

"Okon was booked for tackling Hamann's tackle"

"Obviously for Scunthorpe it would be a nice scalp to put Wimbledon on their bottoms"

"And I honestly believe we can go all the way to Wembley unless somebody knocks us out"

"It would be foolish to believe that automatic promotion is automatic in any way whatsoever"

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Added on March 15, 2007, 3:53 pmMore Beckham funnies

"Pele was a complete player. I didn't see him live obviously, because I wasn't born"

"I remember so clearly us going into hospital so Victoria could have Brooklyn. I was eating a Lion bar at the time"

"Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had"

"We're definitely going to get Brooklyn christened, but we don't know into which religion"

"I always used to go for blondes and quiet girls, but Victoria is the total opposite - dark and loud"


This post has been edited by Duke Red: Mar 15 2007, 03:53 PM

"I think this could be our best victory over Germany since the war" - John Motson when england beat germany 5-1

This post has been edited by jack-jack: Mar 15 2007, 03:56 PM

More John Motson funnies

"Its Arsenal 0 - Everton 1, and the longer it stays like that the more you've got to fancy Everton"

"And what a time to score. 22 minutes gone"

"It's a football stadium on the truest sense of the word"

"Actually, none of the player are wearing earrings, Kjeldberg, with his contact lenses is the closest we can get"

"Middlesbrough are withdrawing Maccarone the Italian, Nemeth the Slovakian and Stockdale the right back"

"I can't fault Mark Palios too highly"

"Brazil - they're so good it's like they are running round the pitch playing with themselves"

"For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all yellow strip"

"The World Cup is a truly International event"

"The goals made such a difference to the way this game went"

"That shot might not have been as good as it might have been"

"The match has become quite unpredictable, but it still looks as though Arsenal will win the cup"

"Not the first half you might have expected, even though the score might suggest that it was"

i'll always remember this quote

"When I used to hear Muhammad Ali proclaim to the world that he was the greatest, I used to smile. You see, the greatest of them all was an English footballer named Duncan Edwards." - Jimmy Murphy

When Reg Davies asked about Duncan Edwards (who will probably be marking him), Jimmy Murphy said, "There is nothing to say that would help us. Just keep out of his way, son."

Hilarious Harry Redknapp quotes!

"Even when they had Moore, Hurst and Peters, West Ham's average finish was about 17th. It just shows how crap the other 8 of us were"

"With the foreign players it's more difficult. Most of them don't even bother with the golf, they don't want to go racing. They don't even drink"

"Samassi Abou don't speak the English too good"

"Dani is so good-looking I don't know whether to play him or f*ck him"

"Hartson's got more previous than Jack the Ripper"

"By the look of him he must have headed a lot of balls" - Harry Redknapp about the lovely Iain Dowie

"You're a ----' bottler Incey! You cannae handle the stage, can you? You are a ----' bottler!"
Alex Ferguson to Paul Ince at half-time, Barcelona, 1994.

"I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Football. Bloody hell."
Alex Ferguson after winning the European Cup on May 26th, 1999.

"I thought the first 45 minutes were the best of my time as a manager."
Alex Ferguson after United had come back from 2-0 down to beat Juventus 3-2 in Turin, Italy in what was later heralded as one of the greatest comebacks in sporting history.

"I'm privileged to have followed Sir Matt because all you have to do is to try and maintain the standards that he set so many years ago."
Alex Ferguson after equaling Sir Matt Busby's Premiership record

"That's boIIocks!"
Sir Alex Ferguson after beating FA Premier League champions Chelsea FC 1-0 on November 6th 2005 when asked if the previous week where Manchester United had endured much criticism was the worst week of his career.

"At the end of this game, the European Cup will be only six feet away from you and you'll not even able to touch it if we lose. And for many of you that will be the closest you will ever get. Don't you dare come back in here without giving your all".
Alex Ferguson's half time team talk during the 1999 European Cup Final

"It would have been Sir Matt Busby's 90th birthday today, but I think he was up there doing a lot of kicking."
Alex Ferguson post match after winning the European Cup 1999

"My greatest challenge is not what's happening at the moment, my greatest challenge was knocking Liverpool right off their ----- perch. And you can print that."
Sir Alex Ferguson responding to Alan Hansen questioning Sir Alex Ferguson's future as Manchester United manager in September 2002 in the Guardian.

"Just ----- patch him up"
Sir Alex Ferguson to a club physio after kicking a boot at David Beckham's head which left him needing stitches above his eye.

"It was a freakish incident. If I tried it 100 or a million times it couldn't happen again. If I could I would have carried on playing!"
Sir Alex Ferguson to the media after the incident had happend.

"It's getting tickly now - squeaky-bum time, I call it".
Sir Alex Ferguson on the 2002/2003 end of season title race. A phrase now used very often in newspapers at all levels of football.

"On you go. I?m no ----- talking to you. He?s a ------ great player. Yous are f----- idiots."
Sir Alex Ferguson speaking to the media about Juan Sebastian Veron

"It keeps those ------ from the media out."
Ferguson about the new ?Fortress Carrington? training complex.

"I am such a bloody talented guy. I might go into painting or something like that."
Sir Alex on life after management.

"He's a bully, a ------ big-time Charlie".
Alex Ferguson on Paul Ince

"They say he?s an intelligent man, right? Speaks five languages! I?ve got a 15-year-old boy from the Ivory Coast who speaks five languages!"
Sir Alex Ferguson on Arsene Wenger

"It is totally out of the question. There is no way we would sell him, or any of our best players"
Sir Alex Ferguson before selling David Beckham 12th April 2003

"What the ---- are you lot playing at? That is the biggest load of shlte I?ve ever seen. Not one of you can look me in the eye, because not one of you deserves to have a say. I can?t believe you?ve come here and decided to toss it off like that cr@p you?re playing out there."
Half-time at Sheffield Wednesday, 1998.

"If he was an inch taller he'd be the best centre half in Britain. His father is 6ft 2in - I'd check the milkman."
Sir Alex Ferguson on Gary Neville

"When an Italian tells me its pasta on the plate I check under the sauce to make sure"
Alex Ferguson before Manchester United played Inter Milan in the Champions League Quarter Final 1999

"Whether dribbling or sprinting, Ryan can leave the best defenders with twisted blood"
Sir Alex Ferguson on Ryan Giggs

"Some of the players call me 'Gaffer'... and when Gary Pallister wants to take a weekend off, he calls me 'God'!" - (Sir) Alex Ferguson

"It wasn't my choice to become a goalkeeper, but I was probably too violent to play outfield." - Peter Schmeichel

"Other teams have better individual players but nobody has a better team than Manchester United." - Ivica Osim, Sturm Graz's coach after his team was outclassed by MU for the fourth time in March 2001.

"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Merci." - Eric Cantona

This post has been edited by eXyzt: Mar 15 2007, 04:30 PM

Bobby Robson howlers

"He's very fast and if he gets a yard ahead of himself nobody will catch him"

"In a year's time, he's a year older"

"Home advantage gives you an advantage"

"The margin is very marginal"

"Daft as a brush"
- On Paul Gascoigne.

"I'm not going to look beyond the semi-final - but I would love to lead Newcastle out at the final"

"There will be a game where somebody scores more than Brazil and that might be the game that they lose"

"We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought"

"They're two points behind us, so we're neck and neck"

"I'd say he's the best in Europe, if you put me on the fence"

"Tottenham have impressed me: they haven't thrown in the towel even though they have been under the gun"

"If we start counting our chickens before they hatch, they won't lay any eggs in the basket"

"I would have given my right arm to be a pianist"

"I do want to play the short ball and I do want to play the long ball. I think long and short balls is what football is all about"

"Their football was exceptionally good - and they played some good football"

"We used to have Shaka Hislop on our books but I've never heard of Shakira. Is she a singer?"
- On learning that Shakira was staying in the same Barcelona hotel as his players in November.

"For a player to ask for a transfer has opened everybody's eyebrows"

"I hope the dreams never end, caused when the dreams end... the memories begin" - Ryan Giggs

"Whether dribbling or sprinting, Ryan can leave the best defenders with twisted blood"
Sir Alex Ferguson on Ryan Giggs

these two quotes r my favourites

This post has been edited by Take: Mar 15 2007, 04:14 PM

Terry Venables

"It was never part of our plans not to play well, it just happened that way"

"Apart from their goals, Norway haven't scored"

"It may have been going wide, but nevertheless it was a great shot on target"

"They didn't change positions, they just moved the players around"

"There are two ways of getting the ball. One is from your own team-mates, and that's the only way"

LOLed

Kevin Keegan Classics

"The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game"

"England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second to none"

"I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona"

"I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different"

"In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg"

"The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful"

"We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in the first half"

"I'll never play at Wembley again, unless I play at Wembley again"

"You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw"

"He's using his strength and that is his strength, his strength"

"Young Gareth Barry - he's young"

"Argentina won't be at Euro 2000 because they're from South America"

"There's a slight doubt about only one player, and that's Tony Adams, who won't be playing tomorrow"

lots of quotes you`ve got there duke.thanks..fun to read