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 New maid requesting to video chat with kids daily

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TSkwackers
post Feb 24 2017, 08:26 AM, updated 8y ago

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So our new maid has been with us for less than a week and is understandably very homesick.

She has asked to be able to video chat with her kids every night. The maid agency had advised us not to permit any Internet access for the duration of her employment.

On the one hand, we can sympathize that she's far away from her family and misses her kids. Another consideration is that we don't want her to harbor resentment if her request is denied, and potentially take it out on our kids.

On the other hand, we have been warned by both the current and previous maid agencies that giving in to maids' requests will likely encourage them to increasingly ask for more; that we should be firm and stick closely to the terms of employment.

This is just the start of her 2-year contract, so we're not keen on having an unhappy domestic helper living under our roof, being responsible for the well-being of our kids.

Our previous maid stayed with us for 4 years, and she was allowed her days off, but did not have any Internet access at our home.

If we do decide to grant her this, it would be at the family computer and subject to casual supervision.


Can I get some input from other parents with domestic helpers? Have your maids ever asked for something similar? Do you permit them access to the Internet at home (whether on your own computers or through allowing them to use your home wi-fi)?


taohannan
post Feb 24 2017, 08:30 AM

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indon maid? they have alot drama mam, carefull... but to treat them like a kuli is not nice also.
TSkwackers
post Feb 24 2017, 08:32 AM

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Filipino maid.

We treat our maid well and she has acknowledged she is happy to work for us; just that she misses her kids terribly and wants to have regular communication with them.


Nicksgame
post Feb 24 2017, 08:33 AM

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really. you don't allow your maid to access the internet to see her own family on facetime. what is this modern slavery. you people make me sick
TSkwackers
post Feb 24 2017, 08:51 AM

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She just made the request yesterday. She hasn't been given an answer yet.

I'm seeking input from other households on their own experiences with their maids - whether there is any serious downside that needs to be taken into consideration.
nesadotcom
post Feb 24 2017, 09:05 AM

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Be watchful. My current maid called back home once a month in the first 3 months(end of guarantee period and a sum of money will be given to her family in Indonesia). But she talked to her bf and not her kids. At the end of 3 mths she jumped the fence 1 morning gt injured and proceeded to the bus station to meet a friend in another state. Luckily the person who was supposed to fetch her from the bus station was late and we managed to pick her up. She said the bf confused her and decided not to call home since. She has been good so far but the fear of her attempting the run again is always there. If she is genuine maybe you can allow her to video call with yoir presence. Make sure she is only talking to her kids. Be extra extra careful after 3 months. Let her talk to her KIDS. Kesian.
Drian
post Feb 24 2017, 09:46 AM

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The question here is if the request is true and she really wants to talk to her children. If the request is true I don't see why not? Supervised of course.
You can't be so cruel and not let her talk to her children right ?

But of course , all these are based on the fact that she's telling the truth and that she wants to talk to her children.

keane04
post Mar 3 2017, 09:44 AM

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QUOTE(kwackers @ Feb 24 2017, 08:51 AM)
She just made the request yesterday.  She hasn't been given an answer yet.

I'm seeking input from other households on their own experiences with their maids - whether there is any serious downside that needs to be taken into consideration.
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hi, how was it? did you allow it?
placenta
post Mar 3 2017, 09:49 AM

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for me, if she asks for RM100, you give RM50. Means, you are not suppose to give her what she needs, but what she requires.

she wanted to video chat with her children, what if you just let her video chat 4 days a week?

But if you really would like to monitor so bad, install team viewer. and make use of it for monitoring

This post has been edited by placenta: Mar 3 2017, 09:52 AM
froggyx
post Mar 3 2017, 09:51 AM

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Whatsapp call or phone call is more than enough...video call for me is not neccessary...
Hammox
post Mar 3 2017, 10:07 AM

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just make sure the T&C with her regarding usage is clear.

And if you really want to monitor, maybe you can be the one to set up the skype account so she can only access when you are around?
Drian
post Mar 3 2017, 10:14 AM

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QUOTE(froggyx @ Mar 3 2017, 09:51 AM)
Whatsapp call or phone call is more than enough...video call for me is not neccessary...
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You mean video call with your kids which you will never see for the next 2 years is not necessary.


froggyx
post Mar 3 2017, 02:21 PM

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QUOTE(Drian @ Mar 3 2017, 10:14 AM)
You mean video call with your kids which you will never see for the next 2 years is not necessary.
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Yes..not necessary... phone call would suffice....give in to the demand and if the maid cabut just like that then please dont open tered here later stating that maid have friends met online and decide to take off....u are the employer so u set the boundaries.....if they dont like it then return her to the agency and find another....
TSkwackers
post Mar 4 2017, 11:51 PM

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QUOTE(keane04 @ Mar 3 2017, 09:44 AM)
hi, how was it? did you allow it?
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Her contract specifies one phone call home every two weeks.

We're allowing her to video chat over Facebook Messenger every two weeks instead of calling over the phone.

She's happy with the arrangement.

Haven't heard any input from other employers on the forums who allow their maids access to the Internet.
TSkwackers
post Mar 10 2017, 11:05 AM

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Just caught her trying to access the home desktop without permission.

At first she was very apologetic, and she said that nothing happened; that she couldn't even log in to the PC.

Then later her story changed to some B.S. about:

1. The baby was trying to (bang the keyboard? wiggle the mouse?) and she was just keeping him away from the PC; and

2. She was trying to turn off the PC


It's not a huge deal to me, but I'm more disturbed about her trying to lie about it rather than the fact she tried to use the computer.

She hasn't been with us for even a full month yet. Yes, it isn't as serious an issue as if she had been caught stealing or etc. but it doesn't inspire any trust either.


low yat 82
post Mar 16 2017, 11:47 AM

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QUOTE(kwackers @ Mar 10 2017, 11:05 AM)
Just caught her trying to access the home desktop without permission.

At first she was very apologetic, and she said that nothing happened; that she couldn't even log in to the PC. 

Then later her story changed to some B.S. about:

1. The baby was trying to (bang the keyboard? wiggle the mouse?) and she was just keeping him away from the PC; and

2. She was trying to turn off the PC
It's not a huge deal to me, but I'm more disturbed about her trying to lie about it rather than the fact she tried to use the computer.

She hasn't been with us for even a full month yet.  Yes, it isn't as serious an issue as if she had been caught stealing or etc. but it doesn't inspire any trust either.
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get urself some cctv... dishonest will leads to others wrong doin..
TSkwackers
post Mar 16 2017, 02:47 PM

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I'd already planned on the CCTV, so now I'm looking for one or two more quotations before I proceed.

The way I approached the situation with the maid is that I sat her down for a talk and told her that:

1. I am capable of taking care of my own kids; I don't need her.
2. If she does anything wrong and/or tries to mislead us or lie to us, she's going straight back to the agency.
3. If she wants something, she needs to ask us. No promises she will get it, but we will be reasonable.

We let her video chat with her family on her birthday for as long as she liked. She understands it won't be a daily right, but she can ask to use it on occasion in addition to her regular video calls home.

Everything's hunky-dory. Got a nice handwritten note from her thanking us and telling us that she and her family are happy.
harvin6
post Mar 23 2017, 11:09 AM

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you give a little they will ask more more until you stop giving then they will start taking it without your permission. I think you should lock your pc using a passcode only when you log in she can access it.
TSkwackers
post Mar 24 2017, 09:32 AM

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harvin6: There was already a password set on the desktop; that's why she was unable to log in.

I had only stepped away briefly, so it was just bad timing on her part that I walked in as she was trying to use the computer.

 

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