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Advice Wanted R u frens with ur ex?

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cassie_90
post Feb 5 2017, 02:43 PM

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QUOTE(Hannah365 @ Jan 11 2017, 08:06 PM)
I had a nasty breakup with my ex-bf that we ended up cutting off all communications for more than half a year. Then now he is hinting that he wants to be frens.

He has a new gf now btw...

I m in a dilemma whether we should b frens back  :confused:
*
It's always an interesting question whether or not to stay friends with your ex.

I personally don't stay friends with my exs. And that's just me.

In another hand, all my exs and even current bf stay friends with their exs.

There's no right and wrong with this, just choose your decision wisely and don't freaking regret it. ;p


MishimaZ
post Feb 6 2017, 01:32 PM

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Basically its all about the depth of emotional and physical interaction you both shared during the period.

If nasi belum jadi bubur lagi, it is still possible to be friends but when huge investments are there its really not possible as either one or both sides may try to rekindle back those romance. Humans are just like that, they would try to repair what was lost/ broken than to see what they can potentially do better.


kkk8787
post Feb 8 2017, 09:37 AM

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To fren or not to fren. Most of the ppl will tell u no. It takes lotsa courage to remain as friends. Will u be able to take it when he or she starts seeing some1 new ? If no cut off before it is too late. If yes then yes u can remain as friend but then if u can see him or her with another perosn just like that therr is a possibility u never loved that much too
vincabby
post Feb 8 2017, 03:51 PM

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it's gonna be difficult but i rather not. sometimes just hi bye, like or comment a bit that's all. wont find her to chat or anything like that anymore.
163cm
post Feb 8 2017, 07:04 PM

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If breakup that time is peaceful and both parties are mature enough then can be friends. If bad breakup, no friends.


TSHannah365
post Feb 9 2017, 04:26 PM

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QUOTE(pandera999 @ Jan 31 2017, 11:47 PM)
nahh..... cz... i miss the good old times only.. but i had to accept, people do change after many years... either u realize it or not but u had to accept it... so, as long as u accept it.. its ok.. knows ur boundry.. i dont make her uncomfortble too.. and im support her what ever the best for her...  nod.gif
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yeah..u r right. people change, even if we miss the good old times, we can't go back to that..so its best that we wish them hapiness blush.gif





TSHannah365
post Feb 9 2017, 04:29 PM

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QUOTE(MishimaZ @ Feb 6 2017, 01:32 PM)
Basically its all about the depth of emotional and physical interaction you both shared during the period.

If nasi belum jadi bubur lagi, it is still possible to be friends but when huge investments are there its really not possible as either one or both sides may try to rekindle back those romance. Humans are just like that, they would try to repair what was lost/ broken than to see what they can potentially do better.
*
I invested a lot in this relationship, but what is done is done now. I believe he has changed too, he has move as well. So I guess we don't have to worry bout the chance of rekindling our romance.. haha
kinozanata
post Feb 9 2017, 04:35 PM

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QUOTE(Hannah365 @ Jan 11 2017, 08:06 PM)
I had a nasty breakup with my ex-bf that we ended up cutting off all communications for more than half a year. Then now he is hinting that he wants to be frens.

He has a new gf now btw...

I m in a dilemma whether we should b frens back  :confused:
*
Its not really a dilemma.
Answer these questions three.
1. Do you want to be friends with him?
2.Can you put aside the memory of the nasty breakup?
3.Was the nasty breakup initiated by him?

If you can answer those questions then you'll arrive at the answer.
TSHannah365
post Feb 9 2017, 04:35 PM

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QUOTE(kkk8787 @ Feb 8 2017, 09:37 AM)
To fren or not to fren. Most of the ppl will tell u no. It takes lotsa courage to remain as friends. Will u be able to take it when he or she starts seeing some1 new ? If no cut off before it is too late. If yes then yes u can remain as friend but then if u can see him or her with another perosn just like that therr is a possibility u never loved that much too
*
He is already seeing someone new. When he told me, i got to admit it sting a little. Haha...i just got to accept he is not the guy I fell in love with anymore.

I believe time heals.

But I just feel it is kind of a waste to lose a close fren lk this.
AnythingK
post Feb 9 2017, 04:45 PM

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Friend as in what? Friend as in maintaining chatting? As in will meet for a meal?

For me I don't see the need to remain as friend, as I have plenty of friend, I don't need extra 1, who had a nasty breakup with me.
Unless both of you still need each other, as in business related kind of relationship, both still need to meet up once in a while. If not, remain as friend for what purpose??
kkk8787
post Feb 9 2017, 05:40 PM

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QUOTE(Hannah365 @ Feb 9 2017, 04:35 PM)
He is already seeing someone new. When he told me, i got to admit it sting a little. Haha...i just got to accept he is not the guy I fell in love with anymore.

I believe time heals.

But I just feel it is kind of a waste to lose a close fren lk this.
*
ya I understand the feeling. haha...6 months is a normal pace I would say to meet a new person. Yupe at times they are your best how u say adviser, I used to ask stupid questions like what shall I eat for dinner and so on too.
pandera999
post Feb 9 2017, 11:14 PM

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QUOTE(Hannah365 @ Feb 9 2017, 04:26 PM)
yeah..u r right. people change, even if we miss the good old times, we can't go back to that..so its best that we wish them hapiness  blush.gif
*
yeah.. and for sure... we will meet the better one if we keep positive... just dont too negative.. it will leads negative result as well... cz its the matter of our choice... nod.gif
pandera999
post Feb 9 2017, 11:15 PM

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QUOTE(Hannah365 @ Feb 9 2017, 04:35 PM)
He is already seeing someone new. When he told me, i got to admit it sting a little. Haha...i just got to accept he is not the guy I fell in love with anymore.

I believe time heals.

But I just feel it is kind of a waste to lose a close fren lk this.
*
yeah.. 3-4 years at least.. but depends... so, you are friends with him?
adamfoo90
post Feb 10 2017, 05:28 PM

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If it's a nasty breakup over stupid reasons I'd say don't.

For me, in my life. Usually those who broke up with me came up with stupid reasons. And I don't find it reasonable to be friends at all. (Well since they are the ones who confessed and asked for breakup)

If having them as a "Friend" feels like downgraded from relationship (Hell nobody wants that) and talking to them will seriously feel awkward. You'll get the feeling of like not-so-comfortable-feeling during conversation.

To me, once broke up means getting rid another nasty one in my life after seeing her true colors. So I say. No.
MishimaZ
post Feb 13 2017, 10:55 AM

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QUOTE(Hannah365 @ Feb 9 2017, 04:29 PM)
I invested a lot in this relationship, but what is done is done now. I believe he has changed too, he has move as well. So I guess we don't have to worry bout the chance of rekindling our romance.. haha
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Your case, still cant be friends
siaoand1
post Feb 13 2017, 06:42 PM

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nvr ever
there was a reason u guys broke up and things didnt turn up well enuff to bcom frens the first time
shudnt ignite the spark of interest between u two anymore


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