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 Life In a Rut, Opinion Needed

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TSfuserdef
post Jan 10 2017, 10:17 PM, updated 8y ago

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So for the past couple of years life has been extremely unkind to me, 2016 in particular. I 've never felt so down in my life before...so I have been thinking you know some people say

1) You need to fight for your dreams, never back down, never take no for an answer...bla bla bla...

conversely there are some advice that goes along the lines of

2) go with the flow, life is about the journey, not the destination, be thankful for everything bla bla bla

by now you can get the idea of what I am talking about, (1) and (2) are absolutely contradicting

so my question is, in your life, which do you find works best for you ? (1) or (2) ...of dare i say it (3) which I assume would be a hybrid of ?
SUSspc005
post Jan 11 2017, 02:41 AM

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Speaking from a depression that held for a decade.
Not sure what's your problem because different issues functions different sadness
Is gonna be TEXT WALL

I will just cut straight to the point.

Answer on question one,
Those are theories to be assist for you to overcome stuffs but to be frank for me is pile of arrogant comments

The words never give up is indeed essential for people who needs to success but think about the requirement for a person to success, to success is to work as a team and support by others and lonewolfs frequently not able to success.

To execute all these 1st you need to be positive and yes for those who experienced high volume of shits compare those who only had shit once or twice is almost impossible to back on positive reason on difficulties to enlighten them self.

A boss that level 50 you cant defeat the boss with lvl 10 char
A boss that level 50 can only be defeat if you are same level or higher
Hope you can see what i meant here

Answer on question two
This is because people choose to give up and follow the flow due on who dont get what we want but only get what we've given.
No different on running from reality, since to archive that 1min of happiness it require to exchange your 1 or10 years stress and pressure.
Seriously not many people would want it therefore instead on doing these they choose to accept whatever they have while ignore their targets.

When these people are going to die they will regret because that's the only time for them to realize they were wrong since death is your very last moment to reflect everything in your life.

Both methods require positive mindsets and is absolute no wrong and that's simplest way to keep a smooth life goes on.

In my case,
I choose neither of those, and will try my very best to avoid "jealous,regret,lonely" if I ever regain back to normal.
And if is does,
To make an easier life is to understand yourself or who you are before doing other things to ensure nothing is wrong or a doubtful thoughts this will kill your day is you as me

Whatever situation you had those 3 are the fatal killers at the end of the day even if you are good as your own now

Most people different from each other with various background stories, dont judge much, try to understand more but not too much. This will ease down your worries

Above mentions are my opinion nothing in black and white
TSfuserdef
post Jan 11 2017, 10:37 PM

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QUOTE(spc005 @ Jan 11 2017, 02:41 AM)
Speaking from a depression that held for a decade.
Not sure what's your problem because different issues functions different sadness
Is gonna be TEXT WALL

I will just cut straight to the point.

Answer on question one,
Those are theories to be assist for you to overcome stuffs but to be frank for me is pile of arrogant comments

The words never give up is indeed essential for people who needs to success but think about the requirement for a person to success, to success is to work as a team and support by others and lonewolfs frequently not able to success.

To execute all these 1st you need to be positive and yes for those who experienced high volume of shits compare those who only had shit once or twice is almost impossible to back on positive reason on difficulties to enlighten them self.

A boss that level 50 you cant defeat the boss with lvl 10 char
A boss that level 50 can only be defeat if you are same level or higher
Hope you can see what i meant here

Answer on question two
This is because people choose to give up and follow the flow due on who dont get what we want but only get what we've given.
No different on running from reality, since to archive that 1min of happiness it require to exchange your 1 or10 years stress and pressure.
Seriously not many people would want it therefore instead on doing these they choose to accept whatever they have while ignore their targets.

When these people are going to die they will regret because that's the only time for them to realize they were wrong since death is your very last moment to reflect everything in your life.

Both methods require positive mindsets and is absolute no wrong and that's simplest way to keep a smooth life goes on.

In my case,
I choose neither of those, and will try my very best to avoid "jealous,regret,lonely" if I ever regain back to normal.
And if is does,
To make an easier life is to understand yourself or who you are before doing other things to ensure nothing is wrong or a doubtful thoughts this will kill your day is you as me

Whatever situation you had those 3 are the fatal killers at the end of the day even if you are good as your own now

Most people different from each other with various background stories, dont judge much, try to understand more but not too much. This will ease down your worries

Above mentions are my opinion nothing in black and white
*
I love walls of text, cause i think in that way too, i need to setup my point and also follow it through ! I really appreciate the time you took to write this !!!

and of course for your advice, yea you know i;ve ppl advising me from that angle as well, at the end of the day would i regret what i didnt do ?

but the thing is ... i've actually one of the more fortunate ones that manage to achieve my young childhood dream, and i think I found the love of my life too, but BOTH of them, i repeat BOTH, came crashing down....mostly due to exterior influences... so at this point in my life i don't feel confident anymore about chasing dreams or love for that matter... which is i guess why i open this thread.

beeMay
post Jan 11 2017, 10:44 PM

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do not simply ask for life advice from random ppl.

In my opinion, well, based on my experience too, please take it as a pinch of salt.
Malaysia is filled with very pessimistic people. They don't believe in dream or hope, they believe in reality, of what is happening now, and if the reality is bad, its gonna be bad forever, so rather than do things and still gon be bad, better just do nothing or simply put, give up.

If your feelings get hurt by my comment, well I apologize, I am not trying to make yall furious. Just stating the fact of the people I meet everyday.

I think people who told you the first advice are actually motivating you, whereas the second advice, I think they are just "realistic" people.

A lot of people had said I am untalented, which is true. Yes, that is the reality. Compared to my friends, they can generate ideas better.
But I wont accept it as my life fate as I know I can change the reality and I am doing it now.

Some people love dragging you down cause they wanna have friends to feel bad together.
tellmewhy
post Jan 11 2017, 11:06 PM


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Joined: Apr 2007



QUOTE(beeMay @ Jan 11 2017, 10:44 PM)
do not simply ask for life advice from random ppl.

In my opinion, well, based on my experience too, please take it as a pinch of salt.
Malaysia is filled with very pessimistic people. They don't believe in dream or hope, they believe in reality, of what is happening now, and if the reality is bad, its gonna be bad forever, so rather than do things and still gon be bad, better just do nothing or simply put, give up.

If your feelings get hurt by my comment, well I apologize, I am not trying to make yall furious. Just stating the fact of the people I meet everyday.

I think people who told you the first advice are actually motivating you, whereas the second advice, I think they are just "realistic" people.

A lot of people had said I am untalented, which is true. Yes, that is the reality. Compared to my friends, they can generate ideas better.
But I wont accept it as my life fate as I know I can change the reality and I am doing it now.

Some people love dragging you down cause they wanna have friends to feel bad together.
*
spot on notworthy.gif
SUSspc005
post Jan 12 2017, 02:56 AM

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QUOTE(fuserdef @ Jan 11 2017, 10:37 PM)
I love walls of text, cause i think in that way too, i need to setup my point and also follow it through ! I really appreciate the time you took to write this !!!

and of course for your advice, yea you know i;ve ppl advising me from that angle as well, at the end of the day would i regret what i didnt do ?

but the thing is ... i've actually one of the more fortunate ones that manage to achieve my young childhood dream, and i think I found the love of my life too, but BOTH of them, i repeat BOTH, came crashing down....mostly due to exterior influences... so at this point in my life i don't feel confident anymore about chasing dreams or love for that matter... which is i guess why i open this thread.
*
Is fine I've fallen much attempted suicide twice and I like to help people in my nature is just their choice to accept or not tho

You may need to know the right person to ask sometimes unless you want to understand more, example those rich mix with rich while poor mix with poor
Sad mix with happy is fine but happy people may not able to help due to their experiences and they may find it burden so their choice of words would be theory only without even trying to help you most of the time

They are certain things that our personality would not want to do and want to do, before you apply any actions ask yourself ape lu mau?

I seriously suggest try to understand yourself before anything else
same as
When you know how to love yourself you know how to love others, and people dont regret on this.

For self understanding is absolute provoke as I was an interviewer and often had new recruits have troubles on describe them self.

Your answer is yes if you're a person who follow the flow, solid up your mentality and had nothing to fear bro.
Example you child oversea work for years while you relax in your country and spend for your own happiness where missed during youth,when your life comes to an end than only you realize that those people you need/want to be there it wasn't present due to your selfish action
It happened to my close friend.

Jealous,Regret,Lonely.
No one will truly understand these when they did not fall to abyss we all knew these 3 emotions are the strongest is either self destruct or motivated due to positive mindsets.
You will cry like a nasty old hag during your last moment in hospital if these emotions are with you, I've seen more than 10 cases.

You archived your dream(1 of a fragment on No regret)
You have your love(No lonely)
Exterior influence, lack of confident (Due to jealousy on social influence and comparison?I assume lo)

Your priority is to get you love to love you more and to love her more to build up your a solid base(make sure she know your condition for her to emphasis more on your reason), men's love it after hardwork all day while returning home and you know your love ones is there for you.
A person for you to protect and cherish, and an essential reason for your to enlarge your protection for them.
This will hold you nothing back, because they are people waiting for your return.
Screw others that know or dont know about them self because YOU know/understand what's your need.

Not all people has the confident most of them just arrogant or assh0l3s which is consider confident for other people
I know you abit now so try these,
-Humble, kind. Never skip these unless you are those arrogant or azzho1ez confident
-Dress up everytime you go out even mamak
-Understand/get to know your self
-Prepare/evaluate/understand/think 1st before you do
-Know what you're doing, know the time for work and the time for fun
-Talk slow, skip ur mindset talk fast means do fast bcoz those r azzhol3z's confident
-Stand tall, show your man b00bs
-Smile,fake is fine bcz you may be a person that goes happy if is praised by others
-Empower yourself with knowldge, books, utube self improve videos etc etc
-Clean you car/room be organize, to impress yourself not others and you will respect yourself.

They're still alot more but I think you dont need those yet
But try google they have alot
To act or not is your choice some ppl like to act for confident

Open tered to ask nothing wrong le, no need shy just take it as internet people as it wont effect your life anyway as long as you dont sensitive/butthurt like how we Malaysian does, i think. hahaha

Well another text wall, hope is informative nuff for you even I sy tau grammer I lemah

have a good day bro
know your self 1st, tan you will know what to do/handle next


TSfuserdef
post Jan 12 2017, 10:14 PM

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QUOTE(beeMay @ Jan 11 2017, 10:44 PM)
do not simply ask for life advice from random ppl.

In my opinion, well, based on my experience too, please take it as a pinch of salt.
Malaysia is filled with very pessimistic people. They don't believe in dream or hope, they believe in reality, of what is happening now, and if the reality is bad, its gonna be bad forever, so rather than do things and still gon be bad, better just do nothing or simply put, give up.

If your feelings get hurt by my comment, well I apologize, I am not trying to make yall furious. Just stating the fact of the people I meet everyday.

I think people who told you the first advice are actually motivating you, whereas the second advice, I think they are just "realistic" people.

A lot of people had said I am untalented, which is true. Yes, that is the reality. Compared to my friends, they can generate ideas better.
But I wont accept it as my life fate as I know I can change the reality and I am doing it now.

Some people love dragging you down cause they wanna have friends to feel bad together.
*
Noted on the first one, i wouldn't say that I take life advice from random people, its more i am curious on what their take on it is you know ?

Shit that i agree, I have been living overseas for a long time, I am still getting used to living back here in Malaysia and I totally totally get what you mean when you say ppl here tend to be on the pessimistic side. And yes, i guess those are the ones that are in the (2) category.

No worries, no offence taken.

thanks for you advice buddy !
timetokill
post Jan 12 2017, 10:29 PM

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I think more along the lines of 2, but I still strive to be a better person, have a better career, contribute to the society when I am able. I want to be happy by being contented with what I have and not have too much expectation of the future. And try not to remind myself of all the things I could have done or should have done but did not do.
TSfuserdef
post Jan 12 2017, 10:47 PM

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Joined: Jun 2015
QUOTE(spc005 @ Jan 12 2017, 02:56 AM)
Is fine I've fallen much attempted suicide twice and I like to help people in my nature is just their choice to accept or not tho

You may need to know the right person to ask sometimes unless you want to understand more, example those rich mix with rich while poor mix with poor
Sad mix with happy is fine but happy people may not able to help due to their experiences and they may find it burden so their choice of words would be theory only without even trying to help you most of the time

They are certain things that our personality would not want to do and want to do, before you apply any actions ask yourself ape lu mau?

I seriously suggest try to understand yourself before anything else
same as
When you know how to love yourself you know how to love others, and people dont regret on this.

For self understanding is absolute provoke as I was an interviewer and often had new recruits have troubles on describe them self.

Your answer is yes if you're a person who follow the flow, solid up your mentality and had nothing to fear bro.
Example you child oversea work for years while you relax in your country and spend for your own happiness where missed during youth,when your life comes to an end than only you realize that those people you need/want to be there it wasn't present due to your selfish action
It happened to my close friend.

Jealous,Regret,Lonely.
No one will truly understand these when they did not fall to abyss we all knew these 3 emotions are the strongest is either self destruct or motivated due to positive mindsets.
You will cry like a nasty old hag during your last moment in hospital if these emotions are with you, I've seen more than 10 cases.

You archived your dream(1 of a fragment on No regret)
You have your love(No lonely)
Exterior influence, lack of confident (Due to jealousy on social influence and comparison?I assume lo)

Your priority is to get you love to love you more and to love her more to build up your a solid base(make sure she know your condition for her to emphasis more on your reason), men's love it after hardwork all day while returning home and you know your love ones is there for you.
A person for you to protect and cherish, and an essential reason for your to enlarge your protection for them.
This will hold you nothing back, because they are people waiting for your return.
Screw others that know or dont know about them self because YOU know/understand what's your need.

Not all people has the confident most of them just arrogant or assh0l3s which is consider confident for other people
I know you abit now so try these,
-Humble, kind. Never skip these unless you are those arrogant or azzho1ez confident
-Dress up everytime you go out even mamak
-Understand/get to know your self
-Prepare/evaluate/understand/think 1st before you do
-Know what you're doing, know the time for work and the time for fun
-Talk slow, skip ur mindset talk fast means do fast bcoz those r azzhol3z's confident
-Stand tall, show your man b00bs
-Smile,fake is fine bcz you may be a person that goes happy if is praised by others
-Empower yourself with knowldge, books, utube self improve videos etc etc
-Clean you car/room be organize, to impress yourself not others and you will respect yourself.

They're still alot more but I think you dont need those yet
But try google they have alot
To act or not is your choice some ppl like to act for confident

Open tered to ask nothing wrong le, no need shy just take it as internet people as it wont effect your life anyway as long as you dont sensitive/butthurt like how we Malaysian does, i think. hahaha

Well another text wall, hope is informative nuff for you even I sy tau grammer I lemah

have a good day bro
know your self 1st, tan you will know what to do/handle next
*
again, I have to thank you for taking the time to write this second wall up ! amazing spirit you have for wanting to help people.

reading through, i does sounds like you have been through a lot, must have taken a lot of strength to be where you are at the moment. Kudos for that !

yea i like that too, like try to keep regards and disappointments to a minimum been told that a few times in my life, thats why sometimes i think i yolo quite a bit in my decisions. lol

great list you got there, will definitely strive to get all of em !

thanks a lot buddy ! really appreciate this !

p/s - when i was a lot younger, I used to listen to this band, and now that i've seen more of what the world has to offer, i get their lyrics "Don't be shocked that people die.
Be surprised you're still alive" (sorry don't mean to be morbid)

This post has been edited by fuserdef: Jan 12 2017, 10:51 PM
beeMay
post Jan 12 2017, 11:10 PM

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QUOTE(fuserdef @ Jan 12 2017, 10:14 PM)
Noted on the first one, i wouldn't say that I take life advice from random people, its more i am curious on what their take on it is you know ?

Shit that i agree, I have been living overseas for a long time, I am still getting used to living back here in Malaysia and I totally totally get what you mean when you say ppl here tend to be on the pessimistic side. And yes, i guess those are the ones that are in the (2) category.

No worries, no offence taken.

thanks for you advice buddy !
*
Riight? I know Im not the only one who gets this. Ive talked to some people from overseas too and its amaziing how optimistic they are, they just dont care what ppl say and strive for better, and yes! They are getting closer to what they want now, I feel like I should talk to them more to b more motivated.
Same to you, dont listen from pessimistic people, they are kind of toxic.

People scared of failing, it happens to everyone. But the best one will kick their fear away! biggrin.gif
SUSspc005
post Jan 13 2017, 12:09 AM

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QUOTE(fuserdef @ Jan 12 2017, 10:47 PM)
again, I have to thank you for taking the time to write this second wall up ! amazing spirit you have for wanting to help people.

reading through, i does sounds like you have been through a lot, must have taken a lot of strength to be where you are at the moment. Kudos for that !

yea i like that too, like try to keep regards and disappointments to a minimum been told that a few times in my life, thats why sometimes i think i yolo quite a bit in my decisions. lol

great list you got there, will definitely strive to get all of em !

thanks a lot buddy ! really appreciate this !

p/s - when i was a lot younger, I used to listen to this band, and now that i've seen more of what the world has to offer, i get their lyrics "Don't be shocked that people die.
Be surprised you're still alive" (sorry don't mean to be morbid)
*
QUOTE(beeMay @ Jan 12 2017, 11:10 PM)
Riight? I know Im not the only one who gets this. Ive talked to some people from overseas too and its amaziing how optimistic they are, they just dont care what ppl say and strive for better, and yes! They are getting closer to what they want now, I feel like I should talk to them more to b more motivated.
Same to you, dont listen from pessimistic people, they are kind of toxic.

People scared of failing, it happens to everyone. But the best one will kick their fear away! biggrin.gif
*
Just like what beeMay said here

Scare on failing, scare of fear, whatever you do the word "fear" is always your obsticle get rip of it and to change yourself is another sign of improve.

Do something out of the box for a broader view
meaning mix with someone that is not Asian minded, try international student, local English educated or best outside country people for a better self enhancer.

Western minded people doesn't do things like what we Malaysian so follow their goods and not the bad, use it for your advantages.

Works brilliant
Speak out is easy
Try is quite hard
But your results will be quite satisfy

ps
Yeah my life is very bad so wouldn't want others to suffer the same level as I did.
Lol that's a good title name for a song

I am surprise that I'm alive actually after so many incidents include suicides,
Now that i've lost everything, will find away to regained abit on what I once lost.

Your love ones is still with you,
Be confident wehh

unknown_2
post Jan 13 2017, 10:42 PM

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Joined: Mar 2012


go with the flow.
less planning, more acting on instinct.
logical instinct that is, not yolo.

for me, i found certain peace when i accepted that money is not the measure if success in life, happiness is.
PortgasDerekAce
post Jan 15 2017, 09:38 AM

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no need care so much larh. just do what u like.

anything goes wrong u can always 14f
SUSdangerminimouse
post Jan 16 2017, 01:52 PM

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1) & 2)

You need to fight for your dreams but when you've done enough fighting and not seen achieve anything you need to pull back and enjoy the flow.

Then maybe you need to find another dream if the previous one doesn't work for you.
Chrono-Trigger
post Jan 16 2017, 02:15 PM

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i don't mean to pour cold water, but "fighting for your dreams" is an illusion, because in my opinion, we all end up the same.

The difference is only that 'perceived' happiness one can get for being rich/successful is only the intermediate path for about 20 years only (job security, financial independence)

Whether we want to admit it or not, everyone will be afflicted by old age, sickness and death.

So for me, dealing with this issue , is more important. Dealing with pain, dealing with loss, dealing with suffering. That takes precedence over anything else.

when you reach 60, you will realize all this 'success' means nothing to anyone. The ones that you thought you need to prove something, could be dead/ dying.

when you reach 70, you will be old and decrepit, and your peers are mostly dead.

Take life easy, we don't live for others. Relax. puke.gif



p/s Yes, i had my fair share of low point in my life , 2016 being the WORST puke.gif puke.gif puke.gif

This post has been edited by Chrono-Trigger: Jan 16 2017, 02:23 PM
TSfuserdef
post Jan 16 2017, 08:38 PM

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QUOTE(beeMay @ Jan 12 2017, 11:10 PM)
Riight? I know Im not the only one who gets this. Ive talked to some people from overseas too and its amaziing how optimistic they are, they just dont care what ppl say and strive for better, and yes! They are getting closer to what they want now, I feel like I should talk to them more to b more motivated.
Same to you, dont listen from pessimistic people, they are kind of toxic.

People scared of failing, it happens to everyone. But the best one will kick their fear away! biggrin.gif
*
Indeed, it amazes me how sometimes i find some process to be complicated and time consuming but they seems to get it done like it was so simple. I think i over think things a lot..

yea... i have a few friends like that as well, toxic, they just seem to suck whatever enthusiasm you have whenever you speak to them.. i've learnt to keep my distance.
TSfuserdef
post Jan 16 2017, 08:44 PM

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QUOTE(spc005 @ Jan 13 2017, 12:09 AM)
Just like what beeMay said here

Scare on failing, scare of fear, whatever you do the word "fear" is always your obsticle get rip of it and to change yourself is another sign of improve.

Do something out of the box for a broader view
meaning mix with someone that is not Asian minded, try international student, local English educated or best outside country people for a better self enhancer.

Western minded people doesn't do things like what we Malaysian so follow their goods and not the bad, use it for your advantages.

Works brilliant
Speak out is easy
Try is quite hard
But your results will be quite satisfy

ps
Yeah my life is very bad so wouldn't want others to suffer the same level as I did.
Lol that's a good title name for a song

I am surprise that I'm alive actually after so many incidents include suicides,
Now that i've lost everything, will find away to regained abit on what I once lost.

Your love ones is still with you,
Be confident wehh
*
yea.. i really think fear is my main problem... but like i said they fear stems from my chasing my dreams, getting there but had it taken away due to factors that are out of my control.. so if someone ask me to be fearless and chase my dreams (new or old) they fear of failing cripples me...like now..

agreed, dont worry, i have my fair share of western friends, i've spent a lot of time abroad and yes i do agree they have a different outlook on like, i find that they tend to consider they bigger picture first before thinking about the details.... asians i find, (in my experience) tend to focus straight away to the fine details..and fail to see the bigger picture, worst is that sometimes they get lost in the finer details

wow.. thats very nobel of you ! thats amazing !
TSfuserdef
post Jan 16 2017, 08:44 PM

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QUOTE(unknown_2 @ Jan 13 2017, 10:42 PM)
go with the flow.
less planning, more acting on instinct.
logical instinct that is, not yolo.

for me, i found certain peace when i accepted that money is not the measure if success in life, happiness is.
*
noted buddy, thanks man !
TSfuserdef
post Jan 16 2017, 09:01 PM

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QUOTE(Chrono-Trigger @ Jan 16 2017, 02:15 PM)
i don't mean to pour cold water, but "fighting for  your dreams" is an illusion, because in my opinion, we all end up the same.

The difference is only that 'perceived' happiness one can get for being rich/successful is only the intermediate path for about 20 years only (job security, financial independence)

Whether we want to admit it or not, everyone will be afflicted by old age, sickness and death.

So for me, dealing with this issue , is more important. Dealing with pain, dealing with loss, dealing with suffering. That takes precedence over anything else.

when you reach 60, you will realize all this 'success' means nothing to anyone. The ones that you thought you need to prove something, could be dead/ dying.

when you reach 70, you will be old and decrepit, and your peers are mostly dead.

Take life easy, we don't live for others. Relax.  puke.gif
p/s Yes, i had my fair share of low point in my life , 2016 being the WORST  puke.gif  puke.gif  puke.gif
*
fair game. but i think i have to clarify that my dream doesn't have to do with wealth, it was just my childhood dream and it was something that I was very passionate about.

and yea.. i older i get.. the more i understand why people keep talking about happiness.

mayneee !!! sorry to hear that ! that makes the both of us
Kaerna
post Jan 16 2017, 09:21 PM

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QUOTE(fuserdef @ Jan 10 2017, 10:17 PM)
So for the past couple of years life has been extremely unkind to me, 2016 in particular. I 've never felt so down in my life before...so I have been thinking you know some people say

1) You need to fight for your dreams, never back down, never take no for an answer...bla bla bla...

conversely there are some advice that goes along the lines of

2) go with the flow, life is about the journey, not the destination, be thankful for everything bla bla bla

by now you can get the idea of what I am talking about, (1) and (2) are absolutely contradicting

so my question is, in your life, which do you find works best for you ? (1) or (2) ...of dare i say it (3) which I assume would be a hybrid of ?
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It's your own life in the end so both ways work not two lives are the same.

That being said be of expectation set by other people. They always try to dictate their way of living to you. While you can filter in the message they want to send to you, just make sure you remind yourself that you're not obliged to live the way they want.

I only have on question for you my dear friend...Do you have someone you can rely on? By rely on means, someone whom you show your weakness to, without the fear of being judged? Having that one person whom you can be weak with is very important...

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