A man had three gorgeous daughters who were at the marrying age. They lived away from their parents. A bit concerned over his daughters' current love lives, the man calls up each one to enquire.

The first one tells daddy, "My boyfriend has a dragon tattooed on his chest. He's a firefighter." Daddy was not too impressed, but at least she found someone who could fight off amorous men.

Somewhat satisfied, he calls up the second daughter. "My boyfriend has 5 dragons tattooed on his chest, he's a pro wrestler." Ok, thinks the dad, at least he can fight off admirers *and* give his daughter a good life.

Feeling more relieved, he calls up the third. "My boyfriend has one draggin' on the ground...."

.........................

bumping for Alilmisfit

Davie walks into a bar and sees his friend Norm slumped over the bar. Davie walks over and asks Norm what's wrong.

"Well," replies Norm, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I told you I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Davie, with a smile.

"Well," says Norm, straightening up. "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's great!" says Davie, "When are you going out?"

"I went to meet her this evening," continues Norm, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So, I got some duct tape out of my truck and taped my pr*ck to my leg, so if I did get a woody, it wouldn't show."

"Sensible." says Davie.

"So I get to her door," says Norm, "and rang her doorbell. She answered in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."

"And what happened then?"

Norm slumps back over the bar again. "I kicked her in the face."

So there was this policeman who pulled a sexy blonde over for a traffic violation. As he went back to his car with her ID he radioed back to HQ and described her registration plates and a general description of her. "You won't believe how hot she looks, plus she's driving a pink Cadillac". The guy on the radio beams back, "Is she blonde, and wears hot pants?". "Yeah, why?", asks the cop.

"Walk back to her car, unzip your pants and show her your unit" says the radioman. "WTF?? Are you out of your mind?" asks the cop. "Just do it!"....

So the cop, a little befuddled, but curious to see where this was heading, proceeds back to the blonde and whips it out to which the blonde remarks nonchalantly, "Oh no, another breathalyser test?".........