WEDDING NIGHT

Honeymoon at Home:
Fred and Mary got married but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go
back to
Fred's Mom and Dad's for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his
breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his
Mom
if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, "No".

Johnny asks,
"Do you know what I think?"

His Mom replies,
"I don't want to hear what you think!
Just go to school."

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks
his Mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

She replies, "No."

Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"

His Mom replies, "Never mind what you think!
Eat your lunch and go back to school."

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again,

"Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

His Mom says, "No."

He asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His Mom replies, "Ok, now tell me what you think?"

He says:
"Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave
him
my airplane glue."

The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined
to track down the father to extract revenge.

"Was it my friend Sam", he demanded.

"No !" his weeping wife replied.

"Was it my friend Jim then?" he asked.

"NO !!!" she said even more upset.

"Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked.

"Don't you think I have any friends of my own?" she snapped.