Golf Mate
A couple of old friends are trying to play a round of golf when they catch up with two women. They watch with mounting frustration as the ladies manage to hit every water hazard, bunker and piece of rough - without waving them through, as golf etiquette requires. After two tedious hours of waiting, one of the men decides enough is enough and walks over to ask them if he can play through. He strides up the fairway, but halfway up stops suddenly and quickly returns. "I can't do it," he says to his playing partner. "One of those women is my wife, and the other is my mistress! Maybe it'd be better if you went to talk to them." The second man agrees, but halfway there he too, noticeably slows down, stops and returns, just like his colleague had done. "What's up?" asks the first man. "I tell you what," says the second man, gazing at his shoes and smiling sheepishly. "It's a small world, isn't it?"

A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing the following elements:

1) Religion
2) Royalty
3) Sex
4) Mystery

The prizewinner wrote:

"My God," said the queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"

Isnt novocaine something like listerine?

Why are women so bad at mathematics?

Because men keep telling them that this (make gap with thumb and forefinger) is 9 inches.

Breaking news -

Wayne Rooney has ruled out a move to Juventus after he found out that the "The Old Lady" is just a nickname