New Best Friend
A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him.

"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?"

Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend."

He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.

"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"

The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs,

"Not anymore! ... He is!"

Great Wife: Do you love me?
Husband: Yap.
Great Wife: What is "yap", what is your meaning?
Husband: Love!
Great Wife: Whom do you love?
Husband: You!
Great Wife: No! You better say it clearly.
Husband: Alright.
Great Wife: Hurry up, say quickly! If you do not say today, do not think of sleeping tonight.
Husband: I love you...
Great Wife: This is what you said willingly. I did not force you!