A carpenter working on a cabin beside a river dropped his hammer into the water one day.
The fairy of the river appeared saying "I'll help you" then jumped into the river.
She resurfaced holding a gold hammer. "Is this your hammer?"
"No..."
The fairy dived again and surfaced with a silver hammer. "This one?"
"No..."
The third time the fairy dived in she resurfaced with the carpenter's old rusty hammer. "This one?"
"Yes."
The fairy was very pleased. Because you're an honest man, I'll give you the gold and silver hammers as well."

A few days later his wife came to visit him. She accidentally fell into the river.
The fairy of the river appeared again saying "I'll help you" then jumped into the river.
She resurfaced with a hawt babe. "Is this your wife?"
"Yes..."
The fairy got mad. "You liar! And I thought you were a good man..."
The carpenter explained: "I'm sorry. But if I said no you'll dive again and bring back another hawt babe, and then my wife only on the 3rd dive. And then you'll give me all of them for my kindness. I'm just a poor peasant I can't support 3 wives! And so I just answer yes to the first one..."

Moral of the story: When men lie it's always for a good and noble reason.

A woman meets a man in a bar.

They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment.

She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.

There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears,

She is quite impressed by his sensitive side but doesn't mention this to him.

They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one!

Maybe he could be the future father of my children?"

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips, he responds warmly.

They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.

She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.

The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well,how was it?"

The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says:
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"Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf  "