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 Relationship Joke

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8L@Z3
post May 23 2008, 09:42 AM

Casual
***
Junior Member
469 posts

Joined: Nov 2005
From: Klang


lemme tumpang thread tongue.gif

How Girlz rate Guyz?

Girls' relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves.

It's not just about boyfriends, we're talking about guy friends that gals have.

Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn't fit to wear Jeetendra's white shoes? Here's a ready reckoner for you:

********


% just a friend %



Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, "Oh Rahul, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??"

Rahul: "Where are you going Shilpa??"

Shilpa: "None of your business" and bangs the phone.(Useless fellow.Hmmph!).

********

% Good Friend %


You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.

Rahul calls: "Hi Shilpa",

Shilpa: "Hi Rahul. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye"

(Shilpa calls back after two days)

Shilpa: "What do you want Rahul? Why did you call that day?".

Rahul: "Generally".

Shilpa: "Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye."

Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.

********

% Very good friend %



Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl.

She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone.

Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.

Shilpa: "You know Rahul, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn't sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn't like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl".

Rahul: "Who is Shekhar??"

Shilpa : "My boyfriend."

Rahul: Oh! ok.

********

% Best Friend %


You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can't live without you.

And don't be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun.

Rahul Shopping. Rahul Movie. Rahul Coffee. Rahul,you pay. I am having fun.

Rahul is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.

Shilpa: "But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends

Rahul. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that."

Rahul: What?? (Rahul drinks all night).

********

% Best of the Bestest Friends %


Ok now you are really special.

You are dad-cum-boyfriend-cum-brother-cum-everything.

Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl.

You take her around.

You make her project.

You do her assignments.

You are allowed to take her doggie around.

You can hold hands on the beach.

You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along).

But but but... don't be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in PoesGardenor Boat Club or Hiranandani area.

Shilpa: "Hi Rahul. I am getting engaged to Shekhar. Shekhar this is Rahul, he is my bestest friend".

Rahul: Hi Shekhar . (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Rahul's wrist).

Rahul is now heart broken and wrist broken.

********



% Boyfriend %



Uh... No comments dude. You're already Gone!

********

Now ~ where do you stand? biggrin.gif
8L@Z3
post Oct 15 2008, 03:15 PM

Casual
***
Junior Member
469 posts

Joined: Nov 2005
From: Klang


QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Oct 14 2008, 03:32 PM)
eh.... auntie reposta!
ok ok.. new avatar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

new joke

Cassie 

When I was growing up me and my best friend Jacob were inseparable. I always thought of him as just a friend until I was about 15 and I started to notice his beautiful baby blue eyes. Then I started to realize more. Like how hot he was and the way he talked to me. I soon fell in love with him and was hoping he felt the same way. When I was going to finally tell him how I felt, that was when he introduced me to his new girl friend. That’s when I knew he didn’t feel the same way. I started dating too but I never loved any of them the way I loved Jacob. During our senior year neither me nor Jacob had dated any one, because of that Jacob asked me to the senior prom. As friends of course. I said yes and went out and bought a new dress. He showed up wearing this hot tux and had even bought me courage. On the way to the prom he pulled over and looked at me and said (I rember this like it was yesterday)"Kassie I know we have been friends for years and I don’t want to lose that but there is something I need to tell you. I think I’m in LOVE with you. No I know I am. I have loved you since I was 14. I know you problem don’t fell the same way but I needed to tell you that." I was in shock I wanted to answer but I couldn’t. He started to drive with this sad look on his face. When I finally belt up the courage to talk all I could say was "Jacob" he looked at me for a split second when it happened. There was a car speeding down the street heading straight at us I screamed and that is the last thing I rember. The car had hit us and Jacob had thrown himself on top of me. Jacob had died trying to do something to save me. The doctors say that if he hadn’t done that I would probly be dead too. Jacob had loved me way more then I had loved him. The last thing I saw of him was his blue eyes felled with tears as he threw him self on to me. I love you Jacob and now I guess you know that.
*
kinda familiar to this. y u so emo lately. let add more emoness to u
Pearl Jam - Last Kiss

Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

We were out on a date in my daddy's car
We hadn't driven very far
There in the road, up straight ahead
A car was stalled, the engine was dead
I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right
I'll never forget the sound that night
The screamin' tires, the bustin' glass
The painful scream that I heard last.

Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

When I woke up, the rain was pourin' down
There were people standing all around
Something warm rollin' through my eyes
But somehow I found my baby that night
I lifted her head, she looked at me and said
"Hold me darling just a little while."
I held her close, I kissed her our last kiss
I found the love that I knew I would miss
But now she's gone, even though I hold her tight
I lost my love, my life that night.

Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.
Oooh~ ooooh~
8L@Z3
post Apr 29 2009, 04:43 PM

Casual
***
Junior Member
469 posts

Joined: Nov 2005
From: Klang


QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Apr 29 2009, 04:06 PM)
A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.

The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of a road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks man what's wrong. "I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of
them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?" The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.

It says, "Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, adds permanent wave."
*
i'm assuming the rabbit is blonde as well

 

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