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> Relationship Joke

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miniacs
post Jan 4 2008, 10:37 AM

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Welcome back alittlemisfit, we really miss your relationship joke. where have u been man, on a long holiday somewhere?
TSaLittleMisfit
post Jan 4 2008, 10:50 AM

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depression.... lack of msg!
hizperion
post Jan 4 2008, 10:57 AM

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From: The Dupes Heaven; Expire: Oct 2077



what you need is a .22 caliber anti-depressant
yen223
post Jan 4 2008, 07:26 PM

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QUOTE(hizperion @ Jan 4 2008, 10:57 AM)
what you need is a .22 caliber anti-depressant
*
hey, if he took that, who will give us our jokes???
TSaLittleMisfit
post Jan 5 2008, 11:14 AM

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Drunk &Falling Down


A drunk had been at a pub all night. At last call, the drunk stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time, to the same result.

He figured he'd crawl outside to get some fresh air, since maybe that would sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the four blocks to his house.

When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face.

He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up.

This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep the second his head hit the pillow.

He was awakened the next morning by his wife shouting, "So you've been out drinking again, have you?!"

"No! What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on his best innocent expression.

"The pub called... you forgot your wheelchair again."
suiteng
post Jan 5 2008, 02:15 PM

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LMAO!!!!!!!!!!
laica
post Jan 7 2008, 12:08 AM

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From: uk


mr little rclxms.gif
welcome back
TSaLittleMisfit
post Jan 7 2008, 09:09 AM

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The Shiny-Walled Box Thingie


An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.

The lad asked, "What is this, father?"

The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.

The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."
state of abyssmal
post Jan 7 2008, 10:43 AM

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From: So would I be out of line if I said....



QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Jan 7 2008, 09:09 AM)
The Shiny-Walled Box Thingie
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.

The lad asked, "What is this, father?"

The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.

The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."
*
LOL.... old to young magic door laugh.gif
TSaLittleMisfit
post Jan 8 2008, 09:10 AM

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Extending the pleasure


A man went to his doctor and asked him how to prolong the lovemaking experience. The doctor told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer, extending the pleasure for them and their partner.

The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it."

He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he came up with a plan.

On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.

Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.

As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"

He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?"

The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."

Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there, because your truck rolled down the hill five minutes ago."
alex_leo
post Jan 8 2008, 11:05 AM

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wahahahahhahaah
suiteng
post Jan 8 2008, 11:54 AM

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knnccb lor......
uNeVErwaLkaloNe
post Jan 8 2008, 08:50 PM

God Sniffing!!!
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good to see you back

nice new jokes btw
contreasjun27
post Jan 9 2008, 12:42 AM

On my way
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Joined: Jul 2006
QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Jan 8 2008, 09:10 AM)
Extending the pleasure
A man went to his doctor and asked him how to prolong the lovemaking experience. The doctor told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer, extending the pleasure for them and their partner.

The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it."

He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he came up with a plan.

On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.

Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.

As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"

He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?"

The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."

Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there, because your truck rolled down the hill five minutes ago."
*
muahahah i like this haha...really KNN CB
cofin
post Jan 9 2008, 01:45 AM

Finally
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From: Planet Earth



QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Jan 8 2008, 09:10 AM)
Extending the pleasure
A man went to his doctor and asked him how to prolong the lovemaking experience. The doctor told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer, extending the pleasure for them and their partner.

The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it."

He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he came up with a plan.

On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.

Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.

As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"

He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?"

The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."

Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there, because your truck rolled down the hill five minutes ago."
*
rclxms.gif rclxms.gif rclxms.gif rclxms.gif rclxms.gif LOL on this 1 everytime i think back
TSaLittleMisfit
post Jan 9 2008, 11:00 AM

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Blood Bank


A guy was running for an elevator and he stuck his hand in to stop the doors, and the doors opened. Inside stood a blonde. He said, "Good morning, which floor are you going to?" She responded, "3rd floor." He pushed the 3rd floor button, plus the 5th floor for himself.

As the elevator started moving the gentleman struck up a conversation and asked the blonde where she was going. She said, "I'm going to the blood bank on the 3rd floor; I donate blood once a week for $10 to supplement my income." Then she asked the
gentleman where he was going. He responded, "I'm going to the sperm bank on the 5th floor; I donate sperm there once a week for $50 to supplement my income".

The next week the same scenario happens. He stopped the elevator doors with his hand, the doors opened and the blonde was standing inside. He smiled and greeted her and asked if she was going to the 3rd floor? The lady responded in a garbled tone (as if she had something in her mouth), "No 5th floor first."
tsubok
post Jan 9 2008, 11:57 AM

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My first post, and I hope this is not a repost.

The Black Sponge

Lil Johnny was watching TV when he saw a commercial for a toy. Wanting it badly, he ran around the house to look for mummy.
Unknown to Johnny, mummy was in the bathroom, shaving her privates to give her husband the smooth sensation.

Not locking the door, Johnny ran straight into the bathroom and saw his mother in the shaving act.
Seeing that black fuzz, he asked "Mummy...what is that?"
Mummy, being embarrassed, just replied "That is my black sponge".

A few days later, Johnny saw the same advertisement on TV and wanted it badly just like the first time. This time, mummy is bathing and as usual, she didn't lock the door.

Johnny burst into the bathroom, and this time...found his mother bathing, minus the fuzz down there.
He asked "Mummy, where is your black sponge?"

Mummy, being quite annoyed by all the interruption, cooked up something to send her son off and give her privacy.
She said "I lost it, be a good boy and help mummy find it. I think I lost it around the neighborhood."

With Johnny gone now, mummy settled back into the bath tub and have a relaxing soak.
Only to have Johnny barging in 10 minutes later!

Johnny, with heavy excitement in his breath...shouted out.

"Mummy...I FOUND your black sponge! The lady next door is WASHING DADDY's mouth with it..."
hoilok
post Jan 9 2008, 01:58 PM

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i just laugh non stop on this 1
suiteng
post Jan 9 2008, 02:11 PM

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another knnccb joke laugh.gif
TSaLittleMisfit
post Jan 10 2008, 10:45 AM

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From: MSG Land


Deadly Habits


Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker and the other was a homosexual.

The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."

The men left the doctor's office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice. While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey.

No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.

His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor's words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning.

The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said, "If you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead."

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