LOL at Misfit's jokes

Wacking Party


Fred goes to the doctor’s office to get a double dose of V1agra. The doctor tells him that he can’t give him a double dose.

“Why not?” asks Fred. “Because it’s not safe,” replies the doctor.

“But I need it really bad,” argues Fred. “Well, why do you need it so badly?” asks the doctor.

“My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday; and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can’t you see? I must have a double dose.”

The doctor finally relents saying, “Okay, I’ll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there were any side effects.”

On Monday, Fred drags himself in; his right arm in a sling.
“What happened to you?” asks the doctor.

Fred replies, “Nobody showed up.”

This post has been edited by aLittleMisfit: Sep 4 2010, 02:51 PM

haha, really love those jokes.

Rookie mistake Wayne, if GTA has taught me anything then it is to always kill the prostitute with a bat after bedding them.

??????

sth related to roonie's scandal i suppose

Logical scientist


Two builders go into the pub after a hard day's work. They're sat drinking for a while when a very smartly dressed man walks in and orders a drink. The two began to speculate about what the man did for a living.
"I'll bet he's an accountant." said the first builder.
"Looks more like a stockbroker to me." argued the second.

They continued to debate the subject for a good while until eventually the first builder needed to use the toilet. On walking in, he saw the smartly dressed man standing at a urinal.

"Excuse me mate, but me and my friend have been arguing over what a smartly dressed fella like you does for a living?" the builder said to the man.
Smiling the man replied, "I'm a logical scientist."
"A what?" asked the builder.

"Let me explain" the man continued, "Do you have a goldfish at home?"
A bit puzzled, but intrigued the builder decided to play along, "Yes, I do as it happens."
"Well then it's logical to assume that you either keep it in a bowl or a pond. Which is it?"
"A pond" the builder replied.
"Well then it's logical to assume that you have a large garden." The builder nodded his agreement. So the man continued, "which means it's logical to assume you have a large house."
"I have a 6 bedroom house that I built myself." the builder said proudly.
"Given that you have such a large house, it's logical to assume that you are married..."
The builder nodded again, "Yes, I'm married and we have three children."
"Then it's logical to assume that you have a healthy sex life."
"Five nights a week!" the builder boasted.
The man smiled a little, "Therefore it's logical to assume you don't masturbate often."
"Never!" the builder exclaimed.
"Well there you have it" the man explained, "That's logical science at work. From finding out that you have a goldfish, I've discovered the size of your garden, all about your house, your family and your sex life!"

The builder left, very impressed by the man's talents. On returning to the bar the other builder asked, "I see that smart bloke was in there, did you find out what he does?"

"Yeah," replied the first, "He's a logical scientist."
"A what?" the puzzled second builder asked.

"Let me explain" the first builder continued, "Do you have a goldfish at home?"
"No" replied his mate.

"Well, you're a wanker then!"

ahhahahahah

A good joke bears to be quoted Good one.

My best mate brought his new girl down the pub last night she's 5'9" blonde and looks like a glamour model, we all had too much to drink and ended up round my place, few more drinks followed and as i was grabbing another beer from the fridge I heard giggling in the other room I walked back into the lounge to find my mate on the sofa getting a deepthroat bj, he looked up and grinned at me as I stood there open mouthed, the girl looked up with a naughty look in her eyes, licking her lips and then asked me if I'd like a go! "Shit yeah!" I replied...

...I didn't realise cocks tasted so salty.

Dude youre back~~~!!

Some c*nt in a nightclub came up to me and said
"I get 20 times more girls than you do, haha."

I replied, "20 x 0 = 0"

That shut the f*cker up.

haha, nice job TS.

where did you get all the jokes to feed us everyday?

lol misfit u sukhdeep?

dang..best comeback ever.. haha

if u guys did 69 b4, u'll know dat the anal hole is not align wit ur forehead

It actually depends on a lot of things, one of which being how far a forehead protrudes forward, and another being the position of Mitch's girlfriend's privates. I'm assuming that Mitch is a Caucasian, so it is possible that his forehead protrudes much further out compared to our average Asian flatheads. So it is quite plausible that if Mitch's head were so inclined, and if on that day his woman did not cleanse properly after a bowel movement, or perhaps in her moment of extreme rapture owing to Mitch's possibly expert skills in oral stimulation, excreted a small amount of fecal matter on Mitch's head. This story might also suggest that Mitch's nose is a tad long, so much so that he failed to detect the scent of fecal matter that was inadvertently deposited on his (assumed) protruding forehead.........

WTF man, it's just a joke LOL. Let's not go deep into it la, cmon.

I was having sex the other day, banging away, when suddenly I stopped mid-thrust and stood really still.

"What are you doing?"

"Something I learn from online porn. It's called 'buffering'."

what about connection dropped?