The dirty parrot
A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00, which seemed awfully cheap.

"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her seriously and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then found it kind of amusing.

When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them enter and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said, "Hi, Keith!"

Filthy Parrot
A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot and the assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot.

"What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, I'm sure you'll agree, and it's an absolute steal at only $20.

"Why is it that cheap?" the woman asks

"Well", replies the assistant, "it used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch fruity"

"Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot".

So saying, she buys the parrot and takes him home.

Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman "F*ck me, a f*cking new brothel and a f*cking new madam"

"I'm not a madam and this isn't a brothel" says the woman indignantly, but she sees the funny side and let's it drop.

A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home. "A new brothel, a new madam, and now new f*cking prostitutes" says the parrot when he sees the daughters. "Mum, tell your parrot to shut-up, we're not prostitutes" complain the girls, but they all see the funny side and have at laugh at their filthy new pet.

A short while later, the woman's husband comes home. "Well f*ck me, a new brothel, a new madam, new f*cking whores, but the same old clients. How ya doin', Dave?" says the parrot.

I don't get it? 

^R-R-R-R....