I feel like revealing d reason i hate $ here.

My maternal great granddad was one of d richest man in his kampung in benut, b4 ww two. He was taken away by d japs and his body was never found. (D idiotic jap some more mass slaughtered Chinese nationals and slapped Lky.) That started d long life of suffering of my great grandma and to some extent my mother as well.

My great grandma before passing away gave d land of d ancestral home to my mum bcos i guessed d old lady knew tat my mum was d only one who could b trusted with taking care of her descendants. My mum had five younger step sisters and one spoilt brat of younger step brother who bcos he was d only son of d family felt that all his sisters owned him something. He squandered d family fortune, went to Singapore to drive bus and married a heartless bitch who came to stay in d ancestral house. They gave birth to three sons and one daughter. All throughout d years, my mum didn't ask for a single cent, not even a single cent from d palm oil plantation tat they were reaping from d land. When my father fell ill in Singapore, my mum called up d bitch and asked her to pls clear up a room in d ancestral house for my dad to rest for jus a few days cos my dad couldn't stay in Singapore if he wasn't working as he was on a work permit. D bitch jus said she was not free and hung up d phone. My mum was upset and suggested to my uncle tat she wanted to sell d land for my father to go to China to see sinseh. My uncle then ganged up with all my aunts to sign a caveat against my mum. My mum cried over d betrayal of her siblings for over twenty years, as she had always tried to be a mother to all of them. No matter how busy or poor she was, she would patch up d pieces of clothing and sewed CNY dresses for her sisters. Every sister got one new dress every year. I now reckon these sl*ts must have compared with one another after getting d new dress "Aiya, y my dress not half as pretty as younger/older sis? Must be eldest sis's favouritism!"

Anyway my mum don't like or don't trust my uncle to keep d land in good use and so after her nephews graduated from uni, she finally let go of something that's worth at least a million to her oldest nephew for fifty thousand.

She said in her next life, she would rather be a dog or a cat than b born in her family again. Recently d nephew got married and asked my mum to attend his wedding. My mum told him she's not feeling well and could not go and congratulated him. Whereas when my brother got married, my mum called him up to invite him, he rained curses on my mother and told her her entire family should go get killed by a car, go get struck by lightning, etc.

(Btw my mum said according to melay beliefs, only d good hearted folks die by getting struck, is it true?)

Can't see no siggy (means signature rite?).

Anyway i don't hate d rich and/or famous. In fact i do think capitalism is d rite way of development, though i must say i have 2 go google d meaning of capitalism.

Yesterday there was a thread abt Marina's opinion on arab colonialism of tis country rite? If all else failed, y can't we go consult d UK who were our colonial masters? Btw a few other ism i try 2 keep in mind are environmentalism, perfectionism and dreamerism.

I only need 2 go deep inside of me to forgive & forget my step aunts and I'll b ok.

My aunts claimed tat my mum must have done bad things in her past life 2 deserve a daughter like me. She said 人在做天在看, meaning whatever man does, heaven or God is watching. Who knows, a few years ago, this particular auntie's daughter died of cancer at d age of twenty something.

I met this and another auntie abt two years ago. Tis auntie said she was having a lump in her breast and was thinking of going for a mammogram. I told her to let go of her stress and sort of comforted her over d loss of her daughter. Ended up d lump disappeared and she didn't even go for d mammogram.

Tis same aunt asked me to b her bridesmaid at her wedding many years ago. She didn't even get me a bridesmaid's dress or gave me any red packet. Sometimes i wondered if i couldn't blame her for some of d misfortunes in my life so far.

I reckon dreaming is a possible solution. Or else making poetry:

春天不是读书天，夏日炎炎最好眠，秋去冬来春一到，收拾书包好过年。

Go to hell, go to help. Go to heaven, seven eleven. Go to purgatory, and lavatory.