I need urgent phone recommendations.

General usage
1. Making calls
2. Sending text messages
3. Occasional use of messaging applications (e.g. WhatsApp / LINE / WeChat / Telegram) to view shitty photos and videos that my colleagues or bosses send.
4. To check the time when I misplace or forgot to wear my watch.
5. Surf Lowyat Forums.
6. Pay my bills online.

Brand
Anything except XiaoMi, Apple and Lenovo.

Budget
RM800

Specifications
1. I have been told that Snapdragon processors are better than MediaTek / Exynos / Kirin / etc. - is that true? I would want whatever kind of processor that is the best. Do kindly advise on how to choose processors.
2. Minimum 2GB RAM
3. No preference on camera / screen size / thickness.

What do I need -
1. A phone with LONG battery life. I don't use my phone to do much other than what has been listed above, and I can't be arsed to bring a power bank around.
2. A phone that is NOT prone to crack / shatter / get damaged easily. I don't intend to throw my phone in a nuclear reactor, but I do drop my phone or step on my phone a few times in an average week. I am clumsy, I know, and this is why I need a phone that can reasonably withstand a few drops. In my subjective experience I do find larger phones to be more fragile, though.
3. SHOULD NOT LAG WITH GENERAL EVERYDAY USE