Father , husband to 7 year old boy and 3 month old boy..
feel as if i'm failure in life coz monthly income <5 K and not motivated to work

i see a lot of my peers from school, especially who are earning big bucks flying here and there. i see ppl around me doing well buying big houses and big car. i know i should be very very motivated to provide from my children but i can't be bothered to stay late at work. i rather go home and play with them .. anyway work is a dead end job with no job security.. i'm almost in my 40s and i fear i;m letting my sons down... the way things are going i'm not sure i can provide tertiary education and plan for my retirement at the same time...

i love my kids but i'm wondering why i don't have the drive like others to work their socks off and earn big money for them.. i feel i'm letting them down.. i forsee in the future, my sons asking why i cannot afford to send them overseas..

having difficulty with my son in going to school.. every week sure will throw tantrum and say don't want to go school.. in the morning we sent to my MIL house and from there my mother will pick him up and send to school.. when he don't want to go he will refuse to wear schoool clothes and cry .. he'll even run out of the house in the compound to avoid wearing school clothes... usually everybody gives up and he gets a day off school ..

at first i thought coz he is going to chinese school and we are a English speaking household. though my MIL speaks to him in Mandarin.. thought coz he can't follow lessons but he is not the only one in his class with this background though.. he seems happy when i pick him up in school .. talking about happenings in school.. he doesn't seem to be bullied.. its just that period of getting him to school.. once there he seems ok..

*sigh* rant over