Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

6 Pages « < 3 4 5 6 >Bottom

Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+

 Married Ppl pls advice

views
     
lowyatter
post Oct 6 2015, 09:42 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
70 posts

Joined: Oct 2009
QUOTE(leonhart88 @ Oct 5 2015, 04:44 PM)
TS is well being why not satisfy? see many bangla poor also last forever ma
*
Well, "differences" in financial expectations is the main reason, not just financials itself. If two poor banglas marry each other but both have low expectations, then this can also be a happy marriage.

In TS case, one has higher expectations than the other.
SUSleonhart88
post Oct 6 2015, 09:45 AM

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,686 posts

Joined: May 2012
QUOTE(lowyatter @ Oct 6 2015, 09:42 AM)
Well, "differences" in financial expectations is the main reason, not just financials itself. If two poor banglas marry each other but both have low expectations, then this can also be a happy marriage.

In TS case, one has higher expectations than the other.
*
then marry the girl with low expectation one.
lowyatter
post Oct 6 2015, 09:49 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
70 posts

Joined: Oct 2009
QUOTE(leonhart88 @ Oct 6 2015, 09:45 AM)
then marry the girl with low expectation one.
*
Which is what TS SHOULD have done biggrin.gif


cant think of a username
post Oct 6 2015, 02:00 PM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
72 posts

Joined: Apr 2015
i know this is serious kopitiam. but, sounds like shes a horrible person

edit: i dont even want to hear the wifes side of things. Takut, it'll be to much of a blow

This post has been edited by cant think of a username: Oct 6 2015, 02:02 PM
soulhunter87
post Oct 6 2015, 02:18 PM

Casual
***
Junior Member
455 posts

Joined: Dec 2007


subconscious jealousy because u spend and care more towards your child
^i read it somewhere before
caricature
post Oct 6 2015, 06:13 PM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
131 posts

Joined: Aug 2015
QUOTE(lowyatter @ Oct 2 2015, 12:34 PM)
Very important for the couple to sit down and lay out EVERYTHING before the marriage.

Both sides should be 100% aware of the other's financial status and expectations.
*
Couple usually won't go that far before marriage or not a real serious talk because even if they do, both will find good excuses which is how people live through life by solving problems. Chinese ladies nowadays dream for a good life pampered by their parents, other race can still manage even on motorbike.


TSBluetec888
post Oct 6 2015, 10:58 PM

New Member
*
Newbie
0 posts

Joined: Sep 2015
QUOTE(lowyatter @ Oct 6 2015, 09:49 AM)
Which is what TS SHOULD have done biggrin.gif
*
sad.gif , spoiled her too much during our years of relationship before kahwin.


Anyway, I done whatever I could as per this forum advice. I doubt she will change, now she seems ok and understand. Maybe 2 months later, same crap again . Haih.
Empathy
post Oct 6 2015, 11:35 PM

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,184 posts

Joined: Jan 2003
From: UEP Subang Jaya
QUOTE(Bluetec888 @ Sep 28 2015, 12:23 AM)
Recently I always had very bad arguement with my wife and i hope somebody can advice me

I know my wife for 10 years and we been married for 2 years with a few months baby.

Im 30+ self employed man and My wife however is a exec working in another company. Both of us same age.

I would put our life as good by malaysian standard

We live in a house fully paid and fully renovated by me.
I paid everything for the household expense, baby items etc
Every single meal we dine , i paid too and dine frequently at good restaurant like tgi friday or rukenzen etc
I do most of the housework too and had maid too

However, after married my wife always complaint about me and we always have arguement.

She always say I did not give her money for her own expenses. And she is not happy and always say i stingy cheapskate etc etc

I try telling her many times, is not that i dowan to give her money to let her enjoy more, it is becoz I cant afford more after deducting all the expenses above. Sometimes she also blame me for not taking her to europe or those expensive trip.

I try telling her that give me sometime to earn more money so i can be a better person to her, but seems like she just always looks dissappointed marrying me.

By looking at this perpective am i the 1 wrong or her?
*
Dear Mercedes Bluetec ,

I'm sorry to say but I think you gonna have an unhappy life if you continue to live with this woman under the same roof if she continue with this attitude . Why don't you pray to God and tell God about your problem . Then ... let go and let God take over . I really pity at your months old baby . I hope the baby's OK .

.

Docile
post Oct 9 2015, 07:19 AM

Naked Sleeper
***
Junior Member
404 posts

Joined: Feb 2009
From: Milford Sound



dude your wife is ungrateful man... dump her and marry me lah
T3ngK0raK
post Oct 9 2015, 10:24 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
55 posts

Joined: Jan 2013
Most people nowadays, couple for many years, then married -> result; life is just boring, no excitement anymore..
Not much respect as husband-wife..the relation more likely as friend..

Tell this to gen y, go search your future husband/wife, date only few years then go get married..
You still can find the sweetness after married..then you can live happily till you die..


KitRox
post Oct 9 2015, 12:56 PM

New Member
*
Junior Member
5 posts

Joined: Jul 2015
QUOTE(Bluetec888 @ Oct 6 2015, 10:58 PM)
sad.gif , spoiled her too much during our years of relationship before kahwin.
Anyway, I done whatever I could as per this forum advice. I doubt she will change, now she seems ok and understand. Maybe 2 months later, same crap again . Haih.
*
what is her circle of friends like?

she might just getting bad influences from others.

take part in some charity events and make her understand our life is not just about the $$$
FunkyBass
post Oct 9 2015, 03:05 PM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
119 posts

Joined: Oct 2012


when every effort fail
its time to hire PI
Myclamyra
post Oct 10 2015, 04:19 AM

Casual
***
Junior Member
394 posts

Joined: Sep 2005
From: Satay Town!


Two things
1. Families should always have a budget spreadsheet. If family members can't accept such a thing, arrange a meeting with a retirement fund advisor and show them what poor financial planning will lead the family to.

2. Vacation trips. Take the price of the travel package and divide by 10. If you can't set aside that amount per person every month, you can't afford it.
MrChildren999
post Oct 10 2015, 04:51 AM

New Member
*
Junior Member
8 posts

Joined: Dec 2014
Seems like guys having different mentality to me. 8years worth of relationship before getting into married relationship, you guys should understand each other nature and perspective in life isnt it...

You guys got spend time with each other ? Of you guys only meet each other at night and didt really talk at all? or maybe meet once a week or so?

Or Maybe she's having stress or something is it. Or peer pressure. Friend's husband bought expensive handbag so she oso expect the same from you?

Spend some time talking with each other? Impossible became so demanding and materialistic imo.

She's also anothet working adult so she should be in a better position to understand value of money? There's a newborn in the household, having taking into consideration then amount required to raised one child is not cheap right now. Given the high education fee, membership, expenses, curriculum classes?

Or maybe on a side note, because of your spending pattern? or working pattern?

watzisname
post Oct 10 2015, 09:49 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
159 posts

Joined: Jan 2014
QUOTE(Bluetec888 @ Sep 28 2015, 12:23 AM)
Recently I always had very bad arguement with my wife and i hope somebody can advice me

I know my wife for 10 years and we been married for 2 years with a few months baby.

Im 30+ self employed man and My wife however is a exec working in another company. Both of us same age.

I would put our life as good by malaysian standard

We live in a house fully paid and fully renovated by me.
I paid everything for the household expense, baby items etc
Every single meal we dine , i paid too and dine frequently at good restaurant like tgi friday or rukenzen etc
I do most of the housework too and had maid too

However, after married my wife always complaint about me and we always have arguement.

She always say I did not give her money for her own expenses. And she is not happy and always say i stingy cheapskate etc etc

I try telling her many times, is not that i dowan to give her money to let her enjoy more, it is becoz I cant afford more after deducting all the expenses above. Sometimes she also blame me for not taking her to europe or those expensive trip.

I try telling her that give me sometime to earn more money so i can be a better person to her, but seems like she just always looks dissappointed marrying me.

By looking at this perpective am i the 1 wrong or her?
*
Dear TS

Here's my honest advice:

1. Save for your retirement
2. Save for your child's education
3. Take your wife on a holiday trip at least once a year
4. Pamper your wife on her birthday and anniversary

Prepare a budget and list down all the expenses then show her how much you save for retirement and your child's education fund. Then allocate some money each month to a holiday fund. Have your wife contribute to this too. Then next year use this fund for a holiday for just the both of you (have a babysitter take care of your kid). At least this way she can see that you are truly committed to taking her on a trip. If you can save money each year by travelling locally maybe you can afford that europe trip in a few years.

Communication is key. Let her understand that both of you need to save for retirement but at the same time still saving to enjoy that holiday trip.

Marriage is all about compromising. Make an effort and hopefully your wife will learn to compromise as well.

As for the constant comparison to other people's rich husband and lavish lifestyle, honestly that cannot be helped. Sometimes you need to learn to be deaf cool.gif

vanpersie91
post Oct 11 2015, 12:15 PM

Regular-ly posting shits and stuffs
******
Senior Member
1,478 posts

Joined: Jan 2009
From: Hurr Durr Herp Derp Land
Ts pls update at first post.

Ayam think such experience is very worthy for younger gen to know how to handle this kind of situstion later during marriage life..
iamhercules
post Oct 11 2015, 07:05 PM

New Member
*
Junior Member
39 posts

Joined: Jan 2015
-deleted-

This post has been edited by iamhercules: Dec 29 2016, 11:22 PM
pokchik
post Oct 12 2015, 11:37 AM

old but gold
******
Senior Member
1,283 posts

Joined: Mar 2010


QUOTE(Bluetec888 @ Sep 28 2015, 12:23 AM)
By looking at this perpective am i the 1 wrong or her?
*
Can't just look on your POV/perspective.. how about both of you attend marriage counseling?

Well, if you still love her and would like to continue this marriage,
why not go for professional help instead of just sharing your side of the story in a forum?

earlofclarendon
post Oct 15 2015, 11:40 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
195 posts

Joined: Jan 2009
- got money do 'got money' stuff
- no money do 'no money' stuff




JimbeamofNRT
post Oct 15 2015, 04:40 PM

the Original Lanji@_ Chicken Rice Shop Since 2002
******
Senior Member
1,456 posts

Joined: Sep 2012

QUOTE(Bluetec888 @ Sep 28 2015, 12:44 AM)
Yes.. we always been dining good I would say.

She change after married becoz i felt that after married , she think it is my responsible for her to have a good life. Eg no need work, got nanny to take care baby etc.

She wants to be like her mum where her dad kau tim everytime for her while her mum as a relaxing housewive.

She never understand expenses now and expenses 30 years back is different.
*
back in 1985 life ain't not that easy compared to 2015 ( except for more affordable house )
nowadays plenty of ways to make $, compared to 1985.

TS,

do you think she got another lover in her life?

6 Pages « < 3 4 5 6 >Top
 

Change to:
| Lo-Fi Version
0.0206sec    0.39    5 queries    GZIP Disabled
Time is now: 29th March 2024 - 07:41 AM