Dear TS,

After reading your story which is similar to mine, I see that my case is easier to decide. Likewise, I am currently being offered a funded ECE PhD in a top ranked (>20) american university. I am now 28 which by the time the program completes, I am 32-33 yrs old. I am also hesitating for a few reasons:

- too old to start a family (currently single), had a virtual solution
- far away from my family
- phd project is restricted to the funded project

For the good sides:
- the advisor is an IEEE fellow with great research record.
- academically well known research university
- full time and funded

Career wise, I assume I will be employed somewhere in the USA/UK/Singapore upon graduation since boleh-land basically values very little of the PhD's. Assuming I graduate, don't think its an issue to secure a job given the reputation of the university in that nation. Although I don't have to work part time like you, all the obligations essentially make it to be similar to yours since an american university requires TA/RAship with loaded course work even for a PhD. Not to mention I have to prepare for PhD qualifier before being a "real" phd student. Publication is almost certainly an implicit requirement although I do enjoy it very much. I am currently completing my master with a conference pub and a high impact journal under review.

Whats actually holding me back is the support of family and being close with them. My research interest and desire are actually above all those career things. Given my experience in my research intensive master, I would say the hard work and pressure do not come from graduate study but being alone and sucking up all the ups and downs along the way.

As for starting a family, it is very common to meet your partner and get married while undertaking the phd. At least I have known a few persons who did that. Basically, you have to find one most disturbing reason of yours and try to overcome it. For me, its not being close enough with my family.