Fishing for partners? There’s always a catch
Hi. My name is Charlie.
I have black hair and brown eyes, and I look a little like a demented serial killer (in a charming kind of way).
More importantly, I’m looking to hook up with a girl. Any girl.
Oh, did I mention that I’m married? Even better, you say?
Obviously, none of the above is true apart from me being married. That was my story when I signed up for an Ashley Madison account.
For research purposes, of course.
I found out quickly why so many men have apparently been lured to the site by the promise of easy liaisons with women.
Registration is free and it took me about the same amount of time to set up as my fake e-mail account on Gmail.
You are asked to key in some physical attributes (height, hair and eye colour, etc) and upload a profile picture (I used a stock photo).
The site even gives you an option to digitally mask your face with an actual digital mask, like a kinky Lone Ranger.
Less than an hour after I registered, I had a lovely lady (allegedly) who wanted to get to know me.
Her name was 1babe4you. She’s 41, 1.68m tall, of medium build, and is also married.
At this point, I was thinking: “Wow. I’m a cyberstud muffin. There must be a catch somewhere.”
And as soon as I clicked on her message, there it was – The Catch.
To see her e-mail, I needed credits, five to be exact.
And it just so happened that Ashley Madison had loads of it to sell to me. I could purchase 100 credits for just $99. Or, if I were the kind of guy who loves deals (I am), I could pay $479 for 1,000 credits.
Luckily, another user, kelly0105, sent me an e-mail I could read for free.
It read: “kelly0105 has indicated she is interested in someone just like you. You should send her a custom message to connect.”
Hmm, maybe I should.
I ponder for 10 minutes about what I should send before settling on a sexy but dignified “Hi there.”
I click “send”. And there it is again – The Catch.
To send a message, I needed five credits as well.