I've also given up on using eyeliner the conventional way on my hooded lids because 1. they smudge on my upper lid after a couple of hours no matter how waterproof and 2. I look like I'm gonna kill people.

I now do tightlining using a waterproof eye liner. It works to make the eyes appear bigger while having a softer look i.e. not like gonna kill people. It's also much more natural looking and often don't look like I'm wearing liner at all. But if you tightline one eye, you can see the obvious difference in how much bigger it looks compared to the other eye. I only tightline the upper lid.

http://www.beautylish.com/a/vmqmg/how-to-tightline-eyes

No problem. I hope it works for you!