Hi all.

I have thought about this for long and I think it's time for to tie my knot with my girl of a 3 years relationship. Basically I think I am ready though I am not sure about her. One big factor that puts me off is the wedding cost. My budget would probably stretch to RM25k which I think is not enough for a proper wedding. Thus, I decide to register legally as a married couple first and then have the reception probably a year or two later.

Just wondering...what are the process too? I have seen some people do it at the immigration department and some in the local Chinese chamber.

Also what are the cost to prepare if I just want to register legally as a married couple? Take a look at the costing below:

Wedding Album - Not needed yet until wedding ceremony
Engagement Ring - RM5,000
Wedding Band - Not needed yet until wedding ceremony
Engagement Lunch - RM5,000 (6 tables for relatives and real close friends)
Wedding Dinner - Not needed yet until wedding ceremony
Dowry - Not sure do I need to give this when I register or on the wedding ceremony but RM10,000
Angpow for relatives and friends - Not needed yet until wedding ceremony
Decoration and props - Not needed yet until wedding ceremony
Actual Day Shoot - Not needed yet until wedding ceremony
Miscellaneous - Not needed yet until wedding ceremony

So total would roughly be around RM20,000 (including dowry) if I register as a married couple first. Anything did I miss?

Hi there.

I think that will be the normal procedure. ROM first. Then Pre Wedding. Then Wedding Ceremony and dinner. Or for some Christians. ROM during Church ceremony then lunch or dinner.

But before anything else, out of respect, you should consult and ask your lady's parent for their approval of their daughter's hand in marriage. Let them decide the dowry. And also you will need to consult your wife. Most importantly is to enjoy the whole process.

Cheers and happy wedding planning...........

Well it depends on your parents/her parents as well. Some people will think that marriage is not complete without the wedding dinner. The dinner is for both host to tell everyone that they are legally married.

Not sure how much you have in savings but from the way you are mentioning is not logical. You want to save up more for the dinner but you want to spend lavishly now, 5k for the engagement ring and 5k for 6 tables, 10k for the dowy.. Are you sure you can save up enough for the main function after 1 year? Estimating the cost, 5k for 6 tables, if 40 tables, it will be easily close to 35k.

Pre-wed shoot usually have to be done before ROM, her ji mui/relatives/friends will surely ask about the photos you guys took once you guys are married is known to them.

Hi kons.

Thanks for your input.

Engagement Ring - I think engagement ring cost more than wedding band? I'm planning to get just gold / white gold ring for wedding band but engagement ring most of the case should be diamond ring right? That would easily cost up to RM5k I guess?

For ROM luncheon, I plotted RM5k for 6 tables. Those 6 tables would be really close friends and relative. Hence, I think spending more on better menu for each table seems okay since I don't plan to have wedding dinner and reception probably until after one or two years.

Dowry - RM10k I will just put this as my budget. I am not sure how much her family would demand from me. Of course the lesser the better la lol.

Anything I missed out?

Thanks for the advise.

When the timing is right, I would date her family out (without her?) and tell them my wish. Hopefully everything will go well.

Btw, when what's a pre-wedding?

Hi there.

It doesn't matter. With or without her also can. But is better to go with her. Helps when you are nervous. No worries, everything should be fine if they know you are sincere.

Pre Wedding photo shoot is the least of the concern. Some couples I know doesn't even care about it. Is not a must.

Cheers.......

Engagement ring not necessary need rm5k... It all also depend on your another half how to think. Some of my friends, their bf buy Rm3k diamond ring to propose but wedding band they choose not expensive. Some is use the same. For me, my wife easy to discuss as we put not much money in ring. I just brought rm1k propose ring then we use the propose ring for our ROM then wedding band is rm4k...

If ROM, usually only few people attend... If so many tables then it will not have dinner. My friend didnt have wedding dinner so on her ROM, she have 10tables. While me have wedding dinner, on my ROM only my family and her family member attends. We go nearby eat one table 10 people only cost RM300...

I went over to her parent's place and asked for permission without her presence (and brought the engagement ring along - to show that I'm serious), spent a good one hour with them to get the green light (as parents - they also want to make sure their daughter marriage will be steady & marrying the right man)

yes, it is somewhere around that figure