Lol....Maybe I can share some insights here...

Coming from a Buddhist/Taoist family, I can guess why your grandma was angry. Assuming she believed in the continuity of the soul (wherever the deceased is, usually one would believe in heaven, or in a worst case scenario still on Earth as a soul that maybe visits/stays in the home - no one would in their right mind believe that a loved one is in hell), the food offered on the altar can carry a few meanings (the importance of each one over the other can vary based on an individual's own beliefs and perception), forming a combination of:

A form of respect, a form of remembrance, a treat that you would like to share with your loved one (the deceased) - e.g. a wife continuing on with her duties and preparing food for her beloved husband and hopes that he'll be happy wherever he is while enjoying this meal, and a source of food in case the deceased is in need or misses earthly food.

Not sure if others throw it out, but for my family we're quite practical, the food should be consumed while it's still fresh. Just pray/show a sign of respect, probably internalize the happy and positive thoughts of 'Hope you've enjoyed the food and that you're happy, we miss you a lot Do allow us to share the food with the (your) whole family now'. For me, whether the soul is truly existent or not post-death, it can also be seen as a traditional practice of remembering/paying respect to/seeking strength or wisdom from the family's ancestors which is central to Chinese culture.

Now back to why she was angry, there's two possible explanations (i) she is of the belief the food is solely for the ancestors/deceased, or (ii) shown disrespect - the food was for someone and you just 'snatched' it without even asking for permission. Ideally, but as always on hindsight, she should have felt that it's alright, it's just one piece, and I'm sure grandpa (or whoever) would have wanted you to have it anyway, and laugh it off.

This post has been edited by DT1: Feb 4 2015, 02:57 AM

I don't know, and I wouldn't claim to know, as I've never really bothered to find out via scholarly sources for any explanations.

But from my own viewpoint, it would be offering something that you can attach an emotional bond to, that would bring out your innermost kindness and love.

A common tool would then be food... We all enjoy food, housewives lovingly impart their time and energy to cook nutritious food for the family.

So in a way you prepare something you can assign feelings of sharing, love, kindness, care, and devotion, and then willingly offer it to your loved one (the deceased). See, the tool here is just a tool, could be food, flowers, money, whatever, but it is just a tool that helps bring out those emotions and feelings mentioned earlier.

Now is that sort of emotional offering needed? We can either say yes or no, there's never going to be a right answer. Assuming spirits are real, then yes maybe it's a family obligation. If they're not real, then, can take it as a culture and traditional practice of respecting the elder (pretty sure studies on religiouslike practices and their positive effects on mental wellbeing can be found) . But of course you can also adopt the view that these are all illogical nonsense, for which you could be right or dead wrong too, no one knows. :-)

Hmm it depends on what that statement means. Do you mean, all these are bollocks, or do u mean, I have no idea about it because I've not come across such ideas in my faith.

Oh wait I forgot to answer the key question... That is how the heck does the spirit eat the food. As you could see from my post, I hold the view that it Might not be the food, but rather, the spirit can somehow receive and benefit from your love and kindness, a form of 'positive energy' perhaps. Similar to how one would pray for goodness and strength, as well as the instances where you pray for someone's well being.

This post has been edited by DT1: Feb 4 2015, 10:34 PM

huh.....? did I sound pissed? Far from that lah :-)

The mere act of subscribing to a belief doesn't automatically mean all others are wrong in their beliefs, unless the doctrine to believe in explicitly calls for the explicit invalidation of all others (refrain from such practice is different from explicitly believing that such practices are wrong) :-D There is reality in that there is belief in reincarnation (Buddhists) and (praying/showing respect) to ancestors as with Chinese culture (and of same importance as the continuation and pride of the Male family's name). It's just up to one to choose what to believe in that would be in sync and with and suitable for enhancing their life. And for Chinese culture, it's called culture for a reason, either you adhere to culture, or subscribe to an imported culture and disregard current practices. Not limited to Chinese culture, changes and dilution of culture happen across many cultures too. (Note: not attaching any right or wrong judgement here, just observation).

This post has been edited by DT1: Feb 5 2015, 09:14 AM

Wasn't even an argument. Was just highlighting shifts in culture. Anyway noted the unwelcome message, seems like there can be a claim to thread ownership and participation.

This post has been edited by DT1: Feb 5 2015, 09:44 AM