Jan 19 2023, 09:20 AM
QUOTE(whatislyfe @ Jan 17 2023, 05:41 PM)
Hi Sifus,
I have just moved to Singapore (August 2022) last year, as I have gotten a good job opportunity here in Singapore. My girlfriend and I just started our relationship in late December 2021, and after short 8 months, I flew to SG to work. I still visit KL, once a month, for my family and her.
She is a single child, and because of her parents (slightly aged), she could not move to Singapore to work, plus, she mentioned that she is afraid that she cannot cope with Singapore's work stress. I didnt force her either.
Recently, our argument always related to what happen after marriage, will I be still in SG? or MY? Personally, I never think of staying in SG until I die, but I still plan to build myself up in SG at least until 40+ years old ish. But then her concern would be what is the point of marrying, having kids, but I working in SG, while she take care of the kids and stuff (which she mention that she is scare of this as well).
At my currently age, I would say I am maybe 3 - 4 years to go before marriage, and not sure if this is too early for us to discuss stuff like this? FYI, we are at the same age.
Need some advice.
Thanks.
Does the job in Singapore bring great potential currently and in the near future? If so, and if you feel both of you have great chemistry and great potential as life partners, then you'd consider bringing her over to Singapore. That's assuming her career in Malaysia is not progressing as fast as yours might be.I have just moved to Singapore (August 2022) last year, as I have gotten a good job opportunity here in Singapore. My girlfriend and I just started our relationship in late December 2021, and after short 8 months, I flew to SG to work. I still visit KL, once a month, for my family and her.
She is a single child, and because of her parents (slightly aged), she could not move to Singapore to work, plus, she mentioned that she is afraid that she cannot cope with Singapore's work stress. I didnt force her either.
Recently, our argument always related to what happen after marriage, will I be still in SG? or MY? Personally, I never think of staying in SG until I die, but I still plan to build myself up in SG at least until 40+ years old ish. But then her concern would be what is the point of marrying, having kids, but I working in SG, while she take care of the kids and stuff (which she mention that she is scare of this as well).
At my currently age, I would say I am maybe 3 - 4 years to go before marriage, and not sure if this is too early for us to discuss stuff like this? FYI, we are at the same age.
Need some advice.
Thanks.
It is within reason why she shared her concern with you. If you think that BEING in Singapore is what you WANT, then be fair and straight with her and tell her so. At least both of you can discuss what options there are, and if both are adamant on her staying put in Malaysia, while you don't want to return to Malaysia anytime soon, might as well call it off. You can't expect her to be a full-time mum eventually and part time wife while you are away. Even without kids, what's the point of getting married but both are living separately for years and years?
Your question to yourself, what is your priority? Your career in Singapore or her as a potential life partner? Is 1 year enough for you to decide that?
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