for one, it doesn't have to be the race track (figuratively or literally), and secondly, there's always cheaper alternatives.

if anything, i believe in "when there's a will, there's a way"
otherwise LDR would be so much more difficult/unbearable.

is there a reason why it matters that your financial situation is weaker than hers? if hers is stronger than yours, then great, both of you can work together and support each other.

Erm, you kinda miss the whole point. If travelling is going to damage your "assets", then opt for bus, train or even plane? Regardless, it's easy for you to meet your other half. And many of the LDR couples here probably don't see each other every weekend. So you complain about your damages here, don't make sense at all.

i think it isn't so much on who's weaker, more on how she's financially stable with savings and reserves, while i barely have any savings (actually none before i met here, working on that around!) and recently i've having employment instability and losing my job soon so that does bring huge concerns and worry to anyone, or to any girls/female i suppose.

perhaps, you probably missed mine when i was emphasizing over justnits 's post.

sure there is public transportation but even that cost money and it surely will add up.
and besides, considering my hobby of driving/riding, you can see where my preference lies.

personally i don't want to view it as a complaint (although clearly that's how it is for you) as it is something more related to my own personal hobbies than a LDR matter.

if i were to recap/re-highlight on the original point, it's probably a matter of give and take, pros and cons.
and in online/social media or even forums like these, people tend to only see the good side of others (other couples) and often missed the negative side of things.

i get you man. though having said that, is the option of not travelling to meet her for a weekend or two possible?
are you always the one doing the travelling?
i take it that both of you are aware of each other's financial status also.

i used to have the same thinking as you, as in like if my financial status is not good, then in some ways, i am not worthy of loving anyone or deserving love.
but over the years, i come to learn that if a girl really loves you for who you are, your financial status doesn't matter much. (as long as you have proper job and decent income, and in certain ways responsible with your finances eg, know how to save, not boros, not a gambling addict and with massive ah long debt.)

btw, you have fully recovered from your previous accident already?
are you still paying for your medical bill? (just making some assumptions here as it concerns about financial status.)

very possible, we both fairly matured working adults after all, and both in the same IT industry so we understand how hectic it can be at times. Just that i believe our relationship is still very young (since August 2017) so we probably still in that honeymoon stage and we both wanting to meet each other a lot.
Things toned down a huge notch after i proposed and we got engaged, maybe because of the things happening around me, and her being worrisome by nature. (having doubts of marrying me)

i'm mostly (almost always) the guy doing the traveling, probably cuz im a guy but i dont mind anyways since i really love driving/riding anyways lol
yes we are very well aware of our financial status, can say she's the finance minister already

Thanks for asking! it really depends on how defines fully recovery.
my implant is permanent, and according to doctors who have no idea themselves, my pain seems permanent as well.
and yes i am still in pain to this very second as i am typing this post, be it sleep, laying down/sit/standing anything, there will be constant nagging pain at my back, and it gets worse as i move any muscle involving my upper torso/neck (which means just about any activity lol)

technically only paid once, and thats fully paid by insurance. unless you count the occasional pain relieves like salonpas/yokoyoko lol
but naw my condition isnt a problem in our relationship.
we've been living together since our 3rd date (only weekends, obviously) and needless to say there's no way to hide a super long scar lol.

mine's around May/June 2017
and you proposed faster than me! lol! (need to cut down on expenses, and that includes travelling if wanna get married )
so yeah, there's a little bit more distance between me n my girl compared to yours, so we can't be seeing each other every weekends.
even once every 2 weeks can put a huge dent already. so i've been trying to control the frequency of travelling, we both can travel, but like you, i prefer that i'm the one doing the travel because it's more economical for me to do so. (and maybe a little bit got to do with the "guy-must-do-this" punya thing lol!)

whoa, what's the part about having doubts about marrying you? did she mentioned it to you or you go by your own assumptions?

yikes man, sorry that you have to go through that. glad to see that you have good spirit and are able to ride normally again despite what had happen to you, keep it up!

bolded

while i do agree/can relate on the "guy must do this" bit, it mainly comes down to my hobbies/passion in motorsports and while the north south is a little boring, there is a few nice curves during the ayer keroh exit and also the back roads at batu berendam air port that always put a smile in my face tackling them lol

realistically and ironically, it is actually more economical for her to travel as her HRV is much more fuel saving and her foot is obviously lighter than mine
until i use 2 wheels of course, but no longer an option for the time being cuz the engine seized and i have no money to rebuild it

referring back to what you said:

except its what she thinks of me.
"will our kids suffer?" "what about child expenses?" "what about expenses living together?" "what about marriage expenses?"
i'm more on a "fuck it (obviously altered a little lol) let's do this leeerrroooyyy"

we've actually had many many long talks about it, and i don't blame her because they are all valid concerns.
but we'll eventually work to a good ending or at least a good compromise

Thanks for the kind words!
really miss my bike - been 2 months i havent ridden it already. Actually went gohtong/genting on my new kapchai (that i had to park a number plate lol), but my god so.very.slow. on the uphill LOL
if the damn thing isnt that slow, my LDR traveling cost would actually be quite low considering the crazy 40+ km/l FC lol
never in my life i've swiped my card, start fueling, and shortly after the fuel nozzle stops/clicks at rm2+
even on ron97.

So there is such a place here?

Hi everyone, I am in LDR since December 2016. I studied in Malaysia and she was my junior, still studying there until now. I graduated July 2016, continued to find job in Malaysia, but it isn't easy being a foreigner looking for job there. Summore, my visa was terminated after I finish my studies. So I always do visa run every month and give reasons to the immigresen every time.

I eventually came back to Indonesia and found a job, I even moved to the capital city (which makes our distance even further), but still going strong until now. For now, I just plan to keep working and ask to be transferred to the KL office so I can get back there. Looking at circumstances now, I am pretty sure she don't want to move to Indonesia. I still prefer Malaysia, too. LOL.

EDIT: BTW, going back to KL next weekend and will be there for a week! So happy, we last met on January this year. It has been almost 4 months.

This post has been edited by HwangTommy: May 17 2018, 11:21 PM

welcome

Same here. I learned this in a hard way with my ex and my current gf. My ex dumped me because of my family financial status BUT not big of a deal because it is all sorted out. Whereas for my current gf, she earns more than me due to her higher qualification but she loves me dearly for who I am.

It's a stark contrast from my past and current experience.

the right ones and the ones you should left
glad you found happiness there!#kipidap

How the f u guys got together without even meeting once?
U guys whatsapp bf-gf or what?

Wow... last post was nearly 4 months ago!

Anyway, just wanted to update anyone who knows me regarding my current LDR status. I had decided to end this 10 years relationship of mine. After like 8.5 years of LDR, we're not really progressing to anywhere near to end it. He needed me to move to where he is but he couldn't commit to when to end the LDR which I'm getting tired of. There are a lots of other underlying problems (in my opinions) but he doesn't think so. Whenever I tried to calmly talk to him, he will always said I'm thinking too much and will tell me to find something to do. Then, we communicated less and less, no longer feel motivated to even plan to meet up and.... I also changed I guess. It's so difficult to really explain it out here but, I wanted to move on with my life instead of always wondering when will this end?

Anyway, best of luck to all who are still in LDR!!!

This post has been edited by ken_zie: Sep 18 2018, 08:06 PM

I'm very sorry to hear.

No wonder the silence. Sorry to hear that too.

Ah! Just came across this post - so Congratulations are in order? And despite the many weekend trips, I have still not received my tarts

RM15k p/month is considered rich oredi ah?

Sorry to hear that, and thanks for the wishes.

Thanks you!

Well, 15k per month may or may not be rich, but we can all agree that you're very well to do.
That pay is easily double if not triple for majority of Malaysians in their 30's-40's

If anything, it almost doubles mine!
(But yes I still like Motorsports despite not being rich lol)

Lol me making such a comment doesn't mean I'm there, nor that I am very well to do la.... u see me good, I see u good la Grass is after all ALWAYS greener on the other side