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Serious ...::: Long Distance Relationship Version 13:::..., The LDR Fellowship and Advice Thread

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miyakochan89
post Feb 8 2018, 11:38 AM

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QUOTE(brianwkh @ Feb 7 2018, 02:24 PM)
Yeah, ive tried to put in too much during early stage, im not thinking straight too, I just blindly believe whatever she said eventhough it sounds suspicious, thats what i supposed to get...
Im trying to get over this, i tried to keep myself busy during the day, but when i went to bed, I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking about how i got cheated/played, blablabla, sometimes i cant go back to sleep, sometimes yeah i fall asleep but then will probably wake up again in the next one or two hours.
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Don't worry, everything seems extra hard right now but you will get through it. I find that sports really help megatons during heartbreaks. Well, it keeps you busy one thing for sure, it makes you extra tired so that you get some sleep because your brain won't even have the energy to think! And best of all, if you keep doing it, you will get fit, healthy and feel good about yourself!
TSspunkberry
post Feb 9 2018, 01:32 AM

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QUOTE(MasBoleh! @ Feb 8 2018, 01:52 AM)
Nice, still remember how you told me about cooking and advised me notworthy.gif

and the cats still plotting something? tongue.gif tongue.gif
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Of course XD
MasBoleh!
post Feb 10 2018, 04:05 AM

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QUOTE(spunkberry @ Feb 9 2018, 01:32 AM)
Of course XD
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Haha give them some warm hug and cuddle 😊😊
FriskaMedina
post Feb 10 2018, 11:39 PM

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How often do you guys contact each others? Im having problem which i want to contact him every hour.. if not im feel alone.. except during sleeping.
BlueWind
post Feb 11 2018, 10:38 AM

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QUOTE(FriskaMedina @ Feb 10 2018, 11:39 PM)
How often do you guys contact each others? Im having problem which i want to contact him every hour.. if not im feel alone.. except during sleeping.
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There's no benchmark on this, but contacting every hour seems a bit excessive.
miyakochan89
post Feb 12 2018, 12:07 PM

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QUOTE(FriskaMedina @ Feb 10 2018, 11:39 PM)
How often do you guys contact each others? Im having problem which i want to contact him every hour.. if not im feel alone.. except during sleeping.
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How long is your relationship?

We try to stay connected with each other for as long as we can whenever we are free.

kengkenglolo
post Feb 12 2018, 01:57 PM

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Yesterday i just sent off my LDR gf to the airport, we are now 1338km apart... i feel really really miss her! I miss her a lot to the point that i cant live my life normally like abnormal eating and sleeping habits. As a guy, i know i shouldnt but i cried while hugging her at the airport even though many people are staring at me, i dont care because i really love her and going to miss her. Her eyes was watery but she help me to wipe my tears... after we bid farewell, i cried while driving back to my home....

I really miss her.... its been 16 days since she come here and spend time with me. Out of a sudden, she now gone. I still cant adapt to it... sad.gif
TSspunkberry
post Feb 13 2018, 01:58 AM

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QUOTE(BlueWind @ Feb 11 2018, 10:38 AM)
There's no benchmark on this, but contacting every hour seems a bit excessive.
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Dis. Every hour? What on earth do you have to talk about every hour?
Kampung2005
post Feb 13 2018, 12:53 PM

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Given a chance, I would like to be in LDR again.

In the meantime, I must complete my lifelong dream by next year before considering to get to know someone.
justnits
post Feb 14 2018, 09:47 AM

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QUOTE(FriskaMedina @ Feb 10 2018, 11:39 PM)
How often do you guys contact each others? Im having problem which i want to contact him every hour.. if not im feel alone.. except during sleeping.
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from my personal experience and also some dating advice i read in regards to LDR, give each other some space too, yes it might be unbearable at first (i'm just going to assume it's the start/honeymoon period of your rship.) but the absence and missing each other makes the next phone/skype call/meeting really really sweet.

and go slow on the conversation, you have a whole lot of time with each other to talk, don't sekaligus talk everything.

anyway, me and my gf skype almost every day/night. we text each other across the whole day when we are free or got things to ask each other.
miyakochan89
post Feb 14 2018, 10:18 AM

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QUOTE(Kampung2005 @ Feb 13 2018, 12:53 PM)
Given a chance, I would like to be in LDR again.

In the meantime, I must complete my lifelong dream by next year before considering to get to know someone.
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QUOTE(justnits @ Feb 14 2018, 09:47 AM)
from my personal experience and also some dating advice i read in regards to LDR, give each other some space too, yes it might be unbearable at first (i'm just going to assume it's the start/honeymoon period of your rship.) but the absence and missing each other makes the next phone/skype call/meeting really really sweet.

and go slow on the conversation, you have a whole lot of time with each other to talk, don't sekaligus talk everything.

anyway, me and my gf skype almost every day/night. we text each other across the whole day when we are free or got things to ask each other.
*
The thing i like about LDR is it's really a test of faith, trust and communication between two people. When you are in a committed LDR that you both agree to work through it, one really gets a very good chance to truly know the partner, because you talk damn a lot! Sometimes I do see other couples having meals on the same table, and just playing with their mobile phones/food and not just talk with each other, which is kinda sad cause some people don't realise how hard and precious relationships can be,, and they take for granted. With all that said, I do envy those who can be with their significant other 24hours/7, because in my LDR, we are very emotionally connected, but I do miss the physical part of it. You know, just having the other person there to lean onto, during bad and good days.
justnits
post Feb 14 2018, 07:27 PM

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QUOTE(miyakochan89 @ Feb 14 2018, 10:18 AM)
The thing i like about LDR is it's really a test of faith, trust and communication between two people. When you are in a committed LDR that you both agree to work through it, one really gets a very good chance to truly know the partner, because you talk damn a lot! Sometimes I do see other couples having meals on the same table, and just playing with their mobile phones/food and not just talk with each other, which is kinda sad cause some people don't realise how hard and precious relationships can be,, and they take for granted. With all that said, I do envy those who can be with their significant other 24hours/7, because in my LDR, we are very emotionally connected, but I do miss the physical part of it. You know, just having the other person there to lean onto, during bad and good days.
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i agree with you miyakochan. but i'm replying to FriskaMedina leh, where she say want to contact every hour, that can be a bit excessive and if you aren't careful, it might end up suffocating/stressing the other person (or end up making you looking like "overly attached gf".)

it's vday today, kinda wish i can be physically next to my gf right now sad.gif
lil_flank
post Feb 14 2018, 07:40 PM

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Aiya.. i have been in LDR since Uni, working, marriage, have 3 kids until now. Trust is very important. Wish u all the best!

Now on the way back, lol..

This post has been edited by lil_flank: Feb 14 2018, 07:41 PM
FriskaMedina
post Feb 18 2018, 11:13 PM

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QUOTE(miyakochan89 @ Feb 12 2018, 12:07 PM)
How long is your relationship?

We try to stay connected with each other for as long as we can whenever we are free.
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We broke up last 2yrs, but we couple back last 4months. But during that we okay.. he always contact me..
But now he take it for granted. If he busy and inform me its okay.. icould understand.. but he just keep quite and ask me to understand him. Why he need to change? hmm.. our relationship is really complicated and he make me feel unsecure..
miyakochan89
post Feb 20 2018, 02:56 PM

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QUOTE(FriskaMedina @ Feb 18 2018, 11:13 PM)
We broke up last 2yrs, but we couple back last 4months. But during that we okay.. he always contact me..
But  now he take it for granted. If he busy and inform me its okay.. icould understand.. but he just keep quite and ask me to understand him. Why he need to change? hmm.. our relationship is really complicated and he make me feel unsecure..
*
I am sorry to hear that. This is something that you need to have a real talk with him, like a set a timeline and agree to speak your heart. Communicate your needs, and listen to his.
wondernoob
post Mar 12 2018, 02:02 PM

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https://markmanson.net/long-distance-relationships

To those still in LDR, stay strong!
miyakochan89
post Apr 2 2018, 04:37 PM

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I really wonder how those people in the past handle LDR, with all the wars and etc, and only with letters to communicate, even letters could go missing! Talk about dedication, commitment and pure trust!
Quazacolt
post May 15 2018, 11:52 PM

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reporting in since my first serious relationship since August 2017.

proposed for marriage but there's a lot of uncertainties and doubts growing within my gf/fiancee as we're both very different individuals and my financial status is not at a comfortable level to most girls and definitely not to her as she's financially much stronger than i am.

i definitely want to pull through this even though it is very difficult.

as justnits mentioned on the previous version, 168km is actually quite short, but at the same time, every weekend traveling has definitely put some strain to my already weak financial capabilities.
Quazacolt
post May 16 2018, 12:03 AM

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QUOTE(miyakochan89 @ Jan 12 2018, 02:30 PM)
In a relationship where it involves a minimum of 16 hours flight just to see each other, 1~3 hours car drive? I WILL BE JUMPING IN PURE JOY!
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that "convenience" does lead to more frequent traveling and in the end, the cost turns out to be very similar anyways.

in a way, worse for me because i've blown my sports car clutch housing from a seized clutch bearing, and my sportbike's engine requiring a complete rebuild.

the added amount for just those 2 issues is an estimated (because i can't afford to deal with the bike currently) 6-7k.
ZZR-Pilot
post May 16 2018, 12:23 AM

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QUOTE(Quazacolt @ May 16 2018, 01:03 AM)
that "convenience" does lead to more frequent traveling and in the end, the cost turns out to be very similar anyways.

in a way, worse for me because i've blown my sports car clutch housing from a seized clutch bearing, and my sportbike's engine requiring a complete rebuild.

the added amount for just those 2 issues is an estimated (because i can't afford to deal with the bike currently) 6-7k.
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Play racetrack is only for the rich earning >RM15k/mo.


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