Easy, man - I'll get to every question people pose here, when I'm good and ready.

The misconceptions and ignorant beliefs I often come across, to name a few, are:

1. Chinese gods are omnipotent and can help with any matter under the sun.

False. Chinese gods are not all-powerful or all-knowing, and they have specific areas of expertise. You don't call a plumber for help if you have a toothache.

2. The burning of paper offerings for your ancestors and loved ones results in the paper items materialising on the other side as the real thing, thus allowing the recipients to enjoy them right away.

False. Burning paper offerings is merely a signal - a message to the Netherworld paymasters (whom I will speak more of later) to issue the intended recipients with spiritual equivalents on the other side. If one does not address the offerings to the intended recipient, no signal will be received and nothing will be issued.

A very important point should be made here. Even in instances where the message has been received, there is no guarantee that the recipients will automatically receive what has been issued. All offerings are screened by the Netherworld paymasters prior to being distributed. If the intended recipient has been a particularly bad or unrepentant person, they will be barred from receiving their packages, or worse. These offerings will be released only once appropriate penance has been paid, or instead redistributed to those who are more worthy.

You only get what you deserve. No more, no less.

3. One is allowed to own houses, limousines, servants and other luxury items after they die.

False. The Netherworld is a place for penance and spiritual cultivation, not a place for you to make merry. On the other side, your belongings are limited to food, basic clothing and a small amount of cash (provided by your loved ones/descendants, as above).

Burning luxury items is a downright waste of time and money.

4. Chinese gods are indiscriminate bringers of wealth and prosperity, and will gladly supply you with lottery numbers.

False. Chinese gods generally issue such assistance only to raise money for charity events, raise money for their houses of worship, or to help those who are in true financial need, such as sick people who have hefty medical bills.

If you are more than capable of earning your own living and are not in financial trouble, do not expect monetary help of any kind. Bald-facedly request lotto numbers and you may be ignored, scolded for being materialistic, told to get lost, or, if you are a less-than-virtuous person, receive a punishment, depending on which deity you are dealing with.

5. Chinese folk religion practitioners cannot eat beef.

False. This belief only applies to certain Guan Yin worshippers, who subscribe to a version of her legend that states how her father, the cruel King Miao Zhong, was reborn as an ox as part of his penance, with her devotees abstaining from beef out of deference to him. I say 'certain Guan Yin worshippers' because not all Guan Yin worshippers put credence in this story.

6. Hell deities are creatures of ill-omen and should be avoided.

False. As discussed earlier, Hell deities are the spiritual police force and judicial system. They may look frightful, but are upright and virtuous beings, who will not harm the good-hearted and the innocent. The 'noble monster' concept is one that they perfectly personify.

"You need not fear me unless you are a black hearted scoundrel," a Hell deity is on record as saying. "So - are you afraid?"