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 Its hard to be a 42 year old single guy

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munkeyflo
post Dec 26 2014, 09:14 AM

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I doubt this post after seeing your dupes.

Anyway, you are a guy, 42 isn't anywhere near old. You have money, go figure what to do with the money. I'd rather end up single with money than end up stuck in an unhealthy relationship for the rest of my life.

Money cannot finish spending then go spend on other people. People will surely stick around you like glue then. Or just donate to charity/religious bodies.
7chai
post Dec 26 2014, 09:17 AM

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QUOTE(Mavericka @ Dec 25 2014, 10:26 PM)
Hi, if you deciding to be single and enjoy your independent life, don't wait too long or else you end up like me.

When I was in my 20s, many girls show interest in me, but I rejected them because I thought i could not find my dream girl. So as time went by, I continue to become single until today.

Yes, I enjoy a lot of financial independence, no need to feel headache from turbulent relationships (yes some of my friends divorced) and I got all the freedom I have since I am not tied down by marriage and kids.

But I do sense some problems:

1) I feel prejudice every time I change jobs, people always ask me whether i single or married, then i say i am single, they give me funny look. After that I feel really like kena prejudice, people like make fun of me because I am foreveralone. Some time hard to get cooperation at work, because some woman there don't like me because they think I single hamsap failure uncle. But after work some years, they get use to me and realise I am not a threat because I am not interested in relationships
2) I done all I can in Malaysia, I gone scuba diving, I rode on dirt bikes, mod my car for racing, jungle trekking, go on overseas tours and did charity work. Now I feel bored after achieving all i can.
3) I earn so much money , don't know who to pass down to.
4) I wish I can share my life with somebody. When I go on overseas tour, my group always got couple. While I always sit alone in the tour bus. Sometime stay alone have to do everything alone. Like pay my electricity bills or upgrade my water bill, I have to take leave to do it myself.

5) Hard to find friends. I got a gang of divorcee guy friends, but they all seem to be too bitter in their stupor to hang around with me. Then at my new work place, the young guys in their 20s seem to prejudice towards single uncle like me. Don;t know why they don't want to hang out with me. Everytime I go eat lunch with them, they will ask me "so ah, you uncle you still single, I am 25 years old while you are 42 years old still dinosaur". So yes, maybe its the generation gap.
6) What to start new life in another country but how? I am 42, how to migrate to Australia? way above the age limit. Then who want to stress out to go live in Singapore? Europe now very anti immigration. Our exchange rate so bad now 3.5 to USD, how to go traveling? I want to enjoy the freedom of western country whereby they don't look down on single people not like here in Asia, where we are pressured to get married
7) I hate to go to relative gatherings, they always ask me when I am getting married. They will single me out and announce what a foreveralone failure I am for being single
8) I so far have not found any girl I like. Or any girl who like me. So hard to find relationships.

So yes that basically sums up. So sifus, any advice?
*
vietnam bride okay ? unsure.gif
RUI
post Dec 26 2014, 10:04 AM

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QUOTE(Mavericka @ Dec 25 2014, 10:26 PM)

1) I feel prejudice every time I change jobs, people always ask me whether i single or married, then i say i am single, they give me funny look. After that I feel really like kena prejudice, people like make fun of me because I am foreveralone. Some time hard to get cooperation at work, because some woman there don't like me because they think I single hamsap failure uncle. But after work some years, they get use to me and realise I am not a threat because I am not interested in relationships
*
It's a hint that you have commitment problem. Although, a lousy one.
It could be an evidence of your commitment to your career. That's why you are single.

QUOTE(Mavericka @ Dec 25 2014, 10:26 PM)
2) I done all I can in Malaysia, I gone scuba diving, I rode on dirt bikes, mod my car for racing, jungle trekking, go on overseas tours and did charity work. Now I feel bored after achieving all i can.
*
Keep going for more until you break your knees and back. I don't see why you have to stop doing what you enjoy doing.
Don't tell me you like babysitting these days huh? laugh.gif

QUOTE(Mavericka @ Dec 25 2014, 10:26 PM)
3) I earn so much money , don't know who to pass down to.
*
There are alot in need. wink.gif whistling.gif

QUOTE(Mavericka @ Dec 25 2014, 10:26 PM)
4) I wish I can share my life with somebody. When I go on overseas tour, my group always got couple. While I always sit alone in the tour bus. Sometime stay alone have to do everything alone. Like pay my electricity bills or upgrade my water bill, I have to take leave to do it myself.
*
Do you specifically have someone in mind?
Else, go backpackers lounge and you will find lotsa single traveler there.

QUOTE(Mavericka @ Dec 25 2014, 10:26 PM)
5) Hard to find friends. I got a gang of divorcee guy friends, but they all seem to be too bitter in their stupor to hang around with me. Then at my new work place, the young guys in their 20s seem to prejudice towards single uncle like me. Don;t know why they don't want to hang out with me. Everytime I go eat lunch with them, they will ask me "so ah, you uncle you still single, I am 25 years old while you are 42 years old still dinosaur". So yes, maybe its the generation gap.
*
I hang out with alot of uncles. I find their life experience interesting on how they get around a situation.
However, I don't like bitter single uncle tho. They share nothing but their biased view towards people without acknowledging their own fallacy and become extremely defensive and unreasonable.

Don't worry. You don't sound like one. wink.gif

QUOTE(Mavericka @ Dec 25 2014, 10:26 PM)
6) What to start new life in another country but how? I am 42, how to migrate to Australia? way above the age limit. Then who want to stress out to go live in Singapore? Europe now very anti immigration. Our exchange rate so bad now 3.5 to USD, how to go traveling? I want to enjoy the freedom of western country whereby they don't look down on single people not like here in Asia, where we are pressured to get married
*
If I were you and loving bachelors life with loads of spare $$$ to toss around. I will get myself a yacht parked by marina with by condo just right beside it.
I throw a party alternate weekend and ALL HOTTIES are invited. Everyone feel free to come and go. Only those not gonna make me 50% poorer gets to stay. thumbup.gif

QUOTE(Mavericka @ Dec 25 2014, 10:26 PM)

7) I hate to go to relative gatherings, they always ask me when I am getting married. They will single me out and announce what a foreveralone failure I am for being single
8) I so far have not found any girl I like. Or any girl who like me. So hard to find relationships.

So yes that basically sums up. So sifus, any advice?
*
Ultimately, f*ck'em...You hear me right, F*CK'EM ALL! laugh.gif
SUSs2peMocls
post Dec 26 2014, 11:55 AM

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QUOTE(Mavericka @ Dec 25 2014, 10:03 PM)
So experts here, what should I do with my life? go find a life partner? Hmm, I don't seem to be able to find the right person. SHould I just accept the next girl who comes by?
*
The real question is do YOU want to be in a relationship? No point getting into one just for the sake of it. Relationships are a LOT of work. If you're worried about prejudices against you by people who think there's something wrong with you for being single, cut those people out of your lives, they're not worth your time. Age has gotten the better of you, your self esteem is bruised by all the peer pressure around you. There's nothing weird about being single. George Clooney is single too.

If you are uncomfortable with your own bachelorhood, other people will be able to pick up that vibe. And from your own post, it does look like you're uncomfortable with your life. Time to look back in the past and find out what you enjoy, if you can't find any, it's not too late to find new passion.

Oftentimes, a tiny change in perception and change how you view your whole world and your life.
cHaRsIeWpAu^^
post Dec 26 2014, 12:28 PM

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migrate to other countries that don't judge you because you're single and whatnot.

btw thanks for sharing your experience, im 23 y.o. and i feel the same thing like you do.
SUSendau02
post Dec 26 2014, 12:56 PM

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QUOTE(KVReninem @ Dec 26 2014, 12:12 AM)
laugh.gif Blessed Christmas blush.gif
spg? blink.gif  blink.gif what is spg? sweat.gif
*
Sarong party girl. Its a term used in sg... now there are many spg here too
katijar
post Dec 26 2014, 02:05 PM

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Get a pet dog.
victor_hoh
post Dec 26 2014, 02:09 PM

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Start working out, seriously. Sign up for a gym membership, and start lifting heavy weights. It makes you feel good.
exsea
post Dec 26 2014, 02:12 PM

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each day is a new day. just live your days out. if you do something about it, do it. if not just go on
SUScheechongfun
post Dec 26 2014, 02:13 PM

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Maybe you can try 'buy' a wife - vietnam
Marry for the sake of marry , have a child.
But you still can have the life you always having.
silverwave
post Dec 26 2014, 02:26 PM

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With all those activities that you've mentioned, do you socialize with the opposite sex? There are many corporate ladies still single out there in their late 30s to 40s.

The key is to ask yourself whether you want or don't want. Having and not having someone has both pros and cons. smile.gif
silverwave
post Dec 26 2014, 02:26 PM

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-double post-

This post has been edited by silverwave: Dec 26 2014, 02:27 PM
ITforce
post Dec 26 2014, 02:50 PM

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i'm in mid 30s, had two ex before, now still single and not attached to anyone. Dated casually a few girls though but really no feel. I guess i'm the oldest single guy in my company. So? whistling.gif Feel lonely shxt tho during festive season.

This post has been edited by ITforce: Dec 26 2014, 02:58 PM
deepan84
post Dec 26 2014, 03:42 PM

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I think i posted here before where i broke up with my malay gf of 3yrs.. Im 31 nxt year and working in an environment where they are no candidates to try for. Most of my frens are married with kids. i feel my time to find love etc has ended after 30... after 30, its more bout just accommodating ur life to someone arranged by family or frens.

feel sad at times, when i look at my frens who married their sweetheart.. sad.gif
sexualpower
post Dec 26 2014, 04:48 PM

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i'm single and 32, it isn't nice to have girls of my age to mostly be married

thanks for your advise, however, i wonder how to solve this
ymc2303
post Dec 26 2014, 07:09 PM

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its all comes to a question. what do you really want?
evilcold
post Dec 26 2014, 07:23 PM

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In japan I heard most people are single until old.. If you really want to migrate than maybe Japan is a good choice.
mumeichan
post Dec 26 2014, 07:32 PM

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Most of your problems is all in your head. If you choose to hang around the negative crowd of assholes which btw includes your family you're only making yourself more depressed. Be nice to people and stick to those who are nice back to you. Those who are not and don't give an f about you? Just leave them, remove them from your fb, from your phone, from your email list. Honestly their are a lot of older men out there with you get women and younger men with older women. There's something for everyone

This post has been edited by mumeichan: Dec 26 2014, 07:35 PM
deepan84
post Dec 26 2014, 08:16 PM

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QUOTE(sexualpower @ Dec 26 2014, 04:48 PM)
i'm single and 32, it isn't nice to have girls of my age to mostly be married

thanks for your advise, however, i wonder how to solve this
*
i feel u brah.. had many ex's.. more than 10.. but finally when its time to settle down, i have no one. most of my normal girl frens are also married. Where do i find partner now other than those despo dating-sites/singles gathering? Already given up hope now.. Preparing mentally to be single til i'm old.
sexualpower
post Dec 26 2014, 08:56 PM

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QUOTE(deepan84 @ Dec 26 2014, 08:16 PM)
i feel u brah.. had many ex's.. more than 10.. but finally when its time to settle down, i have no one. most of my normal girl frens are also married. Where do i find partner now other than those despo dating-sites/singles gathering? Already given up hope now.. Preparing mentally to be single til i'm old.
*
i have similar experience but with the following difference

1) fell in love
2) can't let go
3) wasted 10 years just to let go

i tried a dating website for a few years and that helps, but as i become older, the number of girls near my age is low

still trying to meet someone my age, not easy at all

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