Hi guys, I've been working on a book and had just finished Chapter 1, and would love for you guys to give me your review (be as brutal and honest as possible).

A little about the story
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The story's setting will be mainly in Malaysia, based on characters whom discovers that they have innate abilities. Heavy influence from X-Men and Heroes, as well as supernatural elements later on.

If you have any questions, just ask. Attached is the draft.

Eager to hear from you guys

EDIT: I've uploaded the latest revision of Chapter 1, along with Chapter 2. Thanks for the feedback!

This post has been edited by Kevmeister: Jul 26 2015, 10:49 PM


Attached File(s)
 Chapter_1___Mind_on_the_Matter.doc ( 74.5k ) Number of downloads: 12
 Chapter_2___Curbing_the_Curiosity.doc ( 84k ) Number of downloads: 8

In my brutal and honest opinion,

1. You shared before you finished. Sure, many stories were published this way, and most of them were succesful. But yours was not written like those.

For weekly publications, your story must be engaging all the time. In context of feature length novel, it's probably an average pacing. But if you are going share it chapter by chapter, this sucked. Flat. Sure, I might want to find out what's going to happen, but it's not a must. I'll probably wait a year or two for the whole series to conclude before getting the compilation of it. By that time I might not even remember about it.

2. Actually reading it, it's not bad at all. It's not great, but it's not bad, story wise. There are rooms for all sorts of developments, cliche or otherwise. But since it's not a finished product, I can't say at which page I'll drop it for something else.

First off, thanks for the review.

Yes, this is a WIP and thus, I've shared only the first chapter (as I'm currently working on more chapters, probably about 20 - 25 chapters for the complete book) and would treat this as a teaser, to see if the chapter in itself has any of the making to get people to read further.

Again, thank you.

There's not much tease in this. This can be quite harmful to your creative process as well. The beauty of a novel in its entirety is, you can start with a super bland opening, then transform that super bland opening into something superior or wonderful with your creative climax or ending. You write with a structure. You know where it's going, more or less. When you edit, you do it for the sake of continuity, or to replace mediocre ideas with better ones.

Right now, you're just testing the water with nothing but an opening. You lack the conviction to push on in the dark, and it shows. In my personal experience, most who took this route never finished anything. So finish your story, then only show us your product. Let us read your story, your creative process, in your own words. Ask us about the book itself, not the first chapter or the second.

Otherwise it's like trying to judge a song from just the first 5 seconds.

This post has been edited by Intimidated: Nov 23 2014, 11:30 PM

This.

Teenage speculation fiction? Right now, there is a lot of speculation, but not much fiction.

Thank you, plenty of notes to take down and I'm humbly grateful by your take on this.

Rest assured, it's gaining traction as I continue to shape the story around the characters, after ironing out the different characters in the story.

so.... no more continuation?

It's a WIP. Currently at Chapter 3, making edits to Chapter 1.

Update:

I've revised Chapter 1, and added Chapter 2. Thank you so much for all of you that took the time to read and give me feedback on this, I truly appreciate it.